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My 17 month old boy has decided that his ears dont work. He has no respect for no-no. When hes doing something wrong he hollers "mama" or "nono" and lets me know hes doing a nono. He constantly gets into everything off limits. He thinks a swat on the hand is a game and laughs. He wont sleep in his bed anymore and hogs the bed all night-sleeps with me and daddy. I think he is just testing his limits, but he has started hitting too. He is very defiant and wants everything his way. I have tried very hard not to spoil him, but he still acts like hes daring me to stop him when I tell him no. I dont want to be mean to him. Any advice?

2006-08-01 19:07:48 · 14 answers · asked by hipichick777 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting Toddler & Preschooler

14 answers

You swat his hand and you wonder why he's hitting? You taught him that. You need to get a good book on parenting, because you're doing a lot of things wrong. He's not testing his limits, he knows he has no limits. Try reading the Super Nanny book and follow that advice. It works!

2006-08-01 19:13:05 · answer #1 · answered by Fall Down Laughing 7 · 1 1

Well 17 months is the beginning of the terrible two's. This is going to go on for the next year and a half. Best to put a stop to it now while you still can. Try something new for punishment. Smacking the hand doesn't work plus it just teaches hitting is OK. That's not what you want him to think.Try taking something away. Or making him stand in the corner, facing the corner, without moving for 2 minutes. Stand there with him and make him stay. If he moves the time starts over. I know its a discipline for you also but its worth a shot. I do it with my daughter and it works. He will find he doesn't like stopping playing to stand there facing a blank wall. I do it with my daughter and she hates it. There's also ignoring him when he says no-no or mama when hes doing something bad. Use positive reinforcements when he does something good letting him know the good behavior is the right way to go. No extra treats for a while, use them at only good behavior times. Don't spoil or give in at any costs. That will just undo any progress you have accomplished. And most of all get used to him not listening well its going to happen for the next 18 years. The next year and a half will be the hardest but once you get through it you'll look back and say 'thank god that's over.' And it will be before you know it. Just hang in there and don't feed into the negative feed back.

2006-08-01 19:19:25 · answer #2 · answered by sj830 2 · 0 0

I have a 2 1/2 yr. old and he tests me like crazy. It isn't that they are mean or spoiled really but they want to see what they can get away with. I have a hard time getting mine to listen sometimes, but be persistent. If you have to smack his bottom a couple of times to get him to understand that you're not playing then do it. Mine just laughs at me sometimes too. but just hang in there. They'll eventually understand that no means no. I think people don't understand that there is a difference between spanking and beating. I was spanked growing up and probably could have used a few more to tell the truth but I grew up just fine and never thought that hitting was o.k. because of it. It's all in the morals that are taught as well.

2006-08-01 20:03:29 · answer #3 · answered by sweet.pjs1 5 · 0 0

He is daring you to stop him and you better start doing it now or before you know it you will have a 16 year old tyrant who is bigger than you and don't forget the rest of the world has to put up with him too. BS he WON'T do anything, that is NOT an option, you are bigger than he is, older than he is, and presumably smarter than he is so why exactly are you being bullied by a baby? YOU are the parent, he is the child and that is simply the end of the discussion! Please, i beg you, don't set another one of these self indulgent brats loose on the world just because you don't know what to do with him! You take things away from him, honestly once he learns you won't be pushed and you won't tolerate his bs he will give you very little. Mine knew from day one and I rarely ever had any trouble with them at all. Good luck.

2006-08-01 19:14:12 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0 0

Ok first off.. he is 17 months old he is still a baby,, yess growing quickly I know,, but still a baby, it is his job to get int ostuff and explore that is how they learn, BUt his defiency..he's learned from you... Knowing that you won't disapline him, his hitting Is from you smacking his hand, he thinks that when you are upset that is what you do...HIT, when he miss behaves Swat him on the butt and tell him firmly...NO! Your not his friend your not his babysitter.. your his mother you are the one in charge of raising this child to be a well behaved part of society and your not doing any favors by spoiling him soo rotten he won't even listen to you, if I were you I would get a toddler bed and start having him sleep in that bed,NOT YOURS and when he doesn't listen Swat his butt NOT HIS HAND and get his attention real quick... you dont' have to be mean..but you do have to be consistant and NOT willing to back down from what you want from him, at 17 months kids are smart they know what you want.
if your not try getting on to a schedule that helped alot with my duaghter when she was little

2006-08-04 21:05:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

He is becoming a tyrant because you are allowing that to happen. You are in charge. Stop swatting and start spending some time playing and reading with him so he won't be getting into things he shouldn't. Take him to the park, go for walks, color with him, play with clay and blocks.

Put him in time out when he misbehaves and tell him he isn't acting correctly. Set a timer for two minutes and sit with him in time out. He is seeking your attention in a negative way. If you give him positive attention he will stop his bad behavior.

And, for everyone's sake and sanity, get him out of your bed! If he doesn't want to sleep in his bed tell him he can sleep on his floor. It's time for you and your husband to take charge and work on these problems together.

2006-08-01 19:45:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

you're beginning nicely by being clean and corporation approximately what isn't allowed, taking her palms off of you, etc. She needs to comprehend precisely what she's doing incorrect, and you're making that clean adequate that she will, regardless of constrained language skills. Time outs are nice for a baby her age, particularly because she's already acquainted with the belief. the well-known rule is one minute of day holiday in line with twelve months of age, so a one-minute day holiday is adequate. Longer than that for the duration of all probability does not be efficient besides, because her interest span is so short. If the subject is that she will't show herself any different way, attempt to discover assistance on the thank you to help her with that. instruct her some signs and indicators (sign language) for issues she frequently needs or desires. (This helped my daughter plenty. even while she found out to chat, we each and every so often could no longer extremely comprehend what she became asserting, and the signs and indicators truly helped to make clean till now she have been given annoyed.) Make a chart or flashcards with photos of those issues, so she will element to what she needs and instruct you of course. attempt to wager what she is going to need in case you may, by making advantageous she gets a snooze or snack till now the tantrums initiate. you have been by way of toddlerhood till now, and curiously such as you're doing an mind-blowing activity now. persist with it! :o)

2016-10-01 09:17:21 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

He is going thru the Terrible Twos. At this age they are learning to be indepent etc. You have to be firm with him. Let him know you really mean it when you say something. Don't back down. It does not hurt to swat him on his bottom once in a while. He will dare you , not to touch him. You just have to show him your him your his mother. and like I said be firm. Good Luck Pem

2006-08-01 19:18:37 · answer #8 · answered by Patricia M 4 · 0 0

You don't want to be mean to him?! THERE'S your problem! It's not your JOB to be nice to him, it's your job to be his MOM! And if you let him get away with that kind of behavior, you're not doing your job.

You need to realize that you're not doing him a favor by being nice to him. You have to be the grown-up here and set limits, not your kid. While you may feel that you're being "mean" to him, think about how it will affect his future if you allow him to turn into a brat. It'll be meaner to him in the long run if you continue to allow this kind of behavior.
Just some food for thought.

2006-08-01 19:23:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

well first off... you have to be mean. your not his friend, your his parent. any slacking you do in disciplining him now will DEFINITELY haunt you in the pre-teen - teenage years. parents don't realize that the first 5 years are vital to the rest of their life, because that's when they learn what they can and can not get away with. he's still young... don't be afraid to be mean.

and trust me laura, he's not hitting the parent because that's what the parent taught him. my parents spanked me before breakfast, after lunch, and before bedtime and i wouldn't dare raise a hand to either of them, much less tell them to 'shut up' or 'no'. it's not as simple as black and white, hit or no hit... it is the manner in which the discipline is carried out. this child has no concept of respect.

2006-08-01 19:13:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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