My step dad died recently and now my mom is all alone. I am sick to my stomache with anxiety,because I want to be there for her. But I am a fire fighter and this is the only time I work all year. She says she will be fine, but I still hurt for her. What do I do? I hate for her to be all alone.
2006-08-01 18:51:31 · 7 answers · asked by firedup 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is a serious answer, let her grieve, i am also in the same situation as your mother, and my daughter does not want me to feel the pain i am feeling, and has told me to get over it, losing your spouse is like losing your arms, legs, fingers, toes, and it is confusing, scary, and your future is so uncertain. Allow her to talk about your stepdad, good and bad, it helps a lot. Also ask her to dinner, or a movie, something to get her out of the house. Ask her for something of his that was special, help her to pack away his belongings, don't let her do these things alone, it is so painful. And if you can't be with her, call her, letting her know that you love her and understand her pain is something that will surely help. be gentle, and patient, don't expect her to heal too quickly. I have been told it takes different stages for different people to cope with loss. and most of all, tell her she is not alone and that you love her.
2006-08-01 19:54:43 · answer #1 · answered by lostsoul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a sad thing to find your mother left alone. But as long as she has you, she's not alone completely. The only remedy for her right now is time. True, time may be slow, but it's effective. If your mom says she'll be fine, she's already on the right path, having made up her mind to keep living her own life despite the recent tragedy. In most cases, letting her know that you are available when she needs you most is more important than being there persistently. She won't always need you in person, either. Give her a call now and then, but let her do the talking. She'll let you know what she needs, directly or otherwise. The pain heals at different rates depending on the individual. Knowing that she can talk to you, regardless of the topic she wishes to discuss, lets her feel that she is not truly alone. I hope this has helped. God bless you both.
2006-08-02 02:09:09 · answer #2 · answered by Everyday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just the fact that you WANT to do something will matter to her. A 3 minute phone call to simply say that you are thinking about her will do wonders. It's far better than thinking about her and not telling her. Don't be afraid to talk about your step-dad and mention his name. If you think about him during the day, tell your mom that you did and tell her why you did. If you saw something that reminded you of him, tell her about it. It's the little things done over and over again that really add up and show her that you truly do care, even if you can't sit with her because you have to work.
2006-08-02 01:57:19 · answer #3 · answered by Picture Taker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure that you take a little bit of time out of your day and talk to her, call her or write to her. Make sure you give her comfort, somehow letting her know its okay for her to express her sorrow to you because you are always here. Tell her you are very proud of her being a mother to you. Just comfort her with positive thoughts always. Ask how she is doing bring her something she always likes. something that you know will bring a smile to her face.
2006-08-02 01:57:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your loss maybe you can try to get her to go places with you when you are off or get her to mingle with others in a support group people going through the of a spouse someone she can bond with....
2006-08-02 01:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by Majenta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call her everyday and try to visit her as much as possible and as soon as ur done go with her
2006-08-02 01:54:54 · answer #6 · answered by Beca <3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make her laugh.....give her a funny movie dvd..show her something beautiful.....send her a card or flowers
2006-08-02 01:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by eva h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋