5 yrs we dont live together we dont talk marriage, How long do I wait/what do I say to him? Im over30?

Question

In the begining he asked me to marry him and now that his father has moved in and my kids are getting older. We don't even talk about it anymore. He has us as this old married couple but I just don't have that marriage license to support it. 2 houses 2 incomes and a very sensitive subject...any suggestions?

Answer 1

my motherinlaw, now 65, done as you are doing, married her husband 1 year prior to his death, after living together for MANY years, with several children,

Since she was married only 1 year, she can not collect his social security, therefore, her income is nothing what she hoped & planned it to be.

There is just one of many problems..

Answer 2

In a couple, communication is very important. It is the pillar for the love that you have for each other. You should find a good time to discuss this slowly with him. Try to ask him out where you two can talk privately for this. Try to have fun at the same time. Don't push the subject too hard and watch his reaction. Try to make it as an open subject as possible. Try to start the conversation after dinner and some wine, and ask him about women marrying at your age and your similar situation and ask what he thinks. if he is positive about it, then you can just slip the question with, by the way...
I do this will help. And do remember try to communicate more and may you have a better day today

Answer 3

the only thing that will help you my dear is talking to him. spend some time alone with him and tell him how you have been feeling and how you would like the things to change.
see to what he has to say about it..dont presurize him too much..just tell him patiently and as softly as possible..and give him time to understand, think over it and make decisions..tell him that he can have his time to think about it but two of you should now reach some decision about what should be done.
if he really luves you, he'll understand your situation and try to change the things accordingly.

if he acts negatively..i guess you'll have to think about moving on then because you cant possibly wait all your life for someone to marry you..i know it'll hurt in begining but that will be for betterment of both of you..sometimes you have to act a little selfish..but in the end you got a right to happiness just like everyone else.

personally i hope and wish that two of you reach an agreement and get married real soon.
god bless you.
best of luck..take care.

Answer 4

People shouldn't move in together, period. Get married from the start or don't live together as it makes for more insecurity instead of less. Since you've let it go on for so long you did it to yourself. Now you have to let him know how important this commitment is to you.

Answer 5

I would talk to him and let him know how you feel. If you can't say the words write him a nice drawn out letter with all of your feelings in it and give it to him before you leave for work or to go shopping. If he's serious about the 2 of you he will definitely get a hold of you on your cell or work phone or wait for you to come home and let you know what he's been thinking about.

Answer 6

I would find a time where it is just the two of you and where you are both very comfortable. Then just casually bring up the subject if it doesn't go well just drop it for then. Or you could take him out to a beautiful restaurant and pop the question yourself.

Answer 7

IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR MARRIAGE, THEN YOU NEED
TO PUT THE CARDS ON THE TABLE, BUT YOU BEEN
WITH THIS MAN FOR 5 YEARS, SORRY TO SAY IT MAY
NOT BE IN THE FUTURE, BUT THAT A DECISION THAT
ONLY YOU CAN MAKE,

Answer 8

I would say talk to him about it if its that important. If he doesnt want to or makes excuses dump him.

Answer 9

start the conversation, and you'll see if all those years had worth the waiting.

Answer 10

Move on. You're not getting any younger.