alrite. i need help. my girlfriend wanted to know my myspace password because she found out i was messaging other girls. i gave it to her then asked hers. she gave it to me. but a few days later i found out she deleted most of her messages before giving her password. i didnt delete any of mine. i promised to the person that told me i wouldnt say anything and i dont want to betray his trust. want can i do???
2006-08-01 17:40:41 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
oh boy
2006-08-01 17:44:28 · answer #1 · answered by gallow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never end any relationship over communication problems - just take my example. I broke up with my boyfriend last April, and even though we're back together now I still regret it more than anything I've ever done. Now I must prove that I love him and that I'm commited, and it's really tough!
Recently I posted my password somewhere he could see it. I then deleted quite a few messages from about a year ago because I knew he would take them the wrong way (they were with an intellectual friend of mine who is no longer my friend). Sometimes girls learn from experience that guys will get jealous over things they have no right to get jealous over. My guy is particularly paranoid, and maybe you don't realize that you are too. Or maybe you just seem that way.
You don't have any idea if the person who told you is giving you the full picture. You shouldn't risk extreme remorse by "ending it". First you need to ask the person who told you if you can take back your promise. Explain to him how important your relationship with her is. If he's a good friend, he'll let you tell. If not, you should decide what's more important, his friendship or your girlfriend's.
You might not even have to bring up the 'myspace problem' with her. Working out other problems with communication might lead her to one day admit her actions. If you don't accuse her and instead try to show your desire to think seriously about the relationship, she could even be impressed. Serious girls often love it when their guys take the initiative to "have a talk". Just be sure to not accuse her in any way! Say things like "I wish we were more open" or "I think we need to be deeper with each other" or "I feel...etc". Don't say "You did this..." or "You always...etc"
It also sounds like you two could talk about jealousy.
I hope my answer wasn't too over the top!
*a girl's perspective*
2006-08-01 17:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by Sami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a big matter of trust here. You and your girlfriend sound very young, and this is common around people your age. I don't believe anyone should give anyone else their password because it's possible for people to go in and change things around and delete.
You and she need to talk about acceptable boundaries and find a good compromise that works for both people about other friendships. Jealousy, remember, comes from insecurity. You're going to need to remind her, possibly over and over, that you love her and you're not looking for another girlfriend. She should calm down after hearing that. If she doesn't, then you know she has deep-seated insecurity, and that has to do with her issues more than it does with you as a couple.
I had a so-called friend of mine ask me one time for my password so he could play Yahoo games. I didn't give it to him. I told him to wait a while and try to log back on. He used my reluctance to toss away the friendship. (I figured no real loss there anyway if he was going to be so shallow about it, and he was in his 40s. Really mature there!).
It's a big red flag to me that your girlfriend would go in and delete her stuff before letting you read it; it sounds like she has something to hide. Maybe males had messaged her and she didn't want to look like a hypocrite!
You need to talk to your girl and hash this out. I think it can be done, ideally without tears or shouting or a big scene. Just pick a time and place that don't have any emotional connections for you -- maybe a cafe or just somewhere neutral.
Good luck. Cheers, K
2006-08-01 17:53:34 · answer #3 · answered by Kate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should confront her on it. Tell her you know and how you know is that your secret and leave it at that.
Or you could what a few days and then out of the blue ask her her password again and check it right then and there. If she refuses then you have a problem. But I wouldn't end it just yet.. Not over a my space chat or message. Not unless she doesn't mean that much to you. She didn't leave you after flirting with other people. It's not like your actually screwing around , it's just words on a screen, no matter what
2006-08-01 17:50:53 · answer #4 · answered by jennifer h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that Privacy is important checking each others myspace messages is not cool i mean is she actually going and meeting these people to cheat are u? its just writing i mean are u not with each other by days end?? If there is no trust then maybe a relationship between the two of you is a bad idea.
2006-08-01 17:50:13 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always say you should end it with control freaks who can't take what they dish out, and can't be trusted.
I would end it quickly. But do you tell her what you know about her deleted e-mails or reveal your source? No, you don't have to.
Just say her lack of trust is reason enough, because love can't really exist without trust. Since she feels the need to monitor and control you, you feel smothered and its too weird. End it like that . Even if she didnt delete her emails you still have a girl who doesnt trust you and doesn't respect your privacy. That alone is enough to end it, isn't it?
2006-08-01 17:51:20 · answer #6 · answered by looloo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you weren't up to anything, then no worries. If she was up to something, then guilt would play into why she asked for your password while deleting her messages. I'd think about things before I furthered this relationship!
2006-08-01 17:46:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you give her your password in the first place? Who you message is your business just like who she messages is hers. If she doesn't trust you, you shouldn't be going out.
2006-08-01 17:54:40 · answer #8 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think that it wasn't right of her to do that to you. You cared enough for her so you let her in you myspace and read everythang. She should've had the same respect for you. Before you break up with her you should try and talk to her and see why she did that. I would always try to talk it out and see why my partner has done somethang then jump and regret it later..
2006-08-01 17:51:30 · answer #9 · answered by rebel_barrelracer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest I think you should end your friendship because you shouldn't deserve a friend like that. I had problems like this before and the best thing to do is this TRUST ME. Cause if you don't you will have more problems.
2006-08-01 17:47:46 · answer #10 · answered by blazingphoenix2424 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change the password
2006-08-01 17:45:05 · answer #11 · answered by hotchic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋