My sister had him at an early age, she was only 18 years old, in love and not well educated about the consequences of having sexual intercourse. Long story make it short, well my nephew is now 18 years old and he wants to find his father whom never cared for him or even tried to meet my nephew. What kind of advice or actions should I take to help my nephew who I love dearly, the whole thing brakes my heart.
2006-08-01 16:45:06 · 17 answers · asked by claudia91701 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If he wants to find his father, he has every right to........If daddy dearest hasn't changed, he'll show his true colors to your nephew in no time flat.........Don't worry and help him as much as you can........Take care.............
2006-08-01 16:47:44 · answer #1 · answered by mizzzzthang 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with what most posters are saying. If he feels he needs to find this guy, he needs your support and any help you could give him. Usually if you have a full name and at least one address he's been at, you can find a person, especially if he's been working a job.
He may give up, he may forget he wanted it, he may just be venting his frustration that his father wasnt' there. But, too, he just may go through with finding him, and if this man hasn't changed, he will at least be able to silence the wondering in his heart he has over 'what if?' cuz then he'll know. Or, wonder of wonders, since it sounds that your sister and probably this guy was young, too, he just may have grown up in the past 18 years, and then your nephew could begin to build a relationship of some sort with him.
2006-08-01 16:56:24 · answer #2 · answered by littleangelfire81 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just love him. I'm sure he feels like a piece is missing because he never had an opportunity to meet his biological father. If there is another man in his life who he knows as Dad... remind him that a person is a father because he is their to support and help raise his son... biological or not. You can also tell your nephew that the man who he's searching for is merely a sperm donor... however that's not helpful. There is nothing you can do to stop your nephew from searching for his sperm donor. Just be there for him when he does find his bio. dad and is extremely disappointed. It is no disrespect to your family for your nephew wanting to find out about his bio dad. I believe this is very common for people who never met their bio parents. I'm sure he loves his mother and family very much... he's just curious.
2006-08-01 16:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to meet his father, he should try. If he doesn't, it's something that will always be there in his mind and might lead to regrets later in life. Whether that meeting goes well or not, depends totally on his dad.
Be supportive, trying to talk him out of it, might only lead him to regrets and a feeling that he's not "whole" later in life. At the very least, it wouldn't hurt for him to meet his father and learn a little about his medical history and family, should he ever need that information.
2006-08-01 16:52:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does his mother feel about this? (I assume that she raised him). If he has a stepfather, has he been a good stepfather? I think your nephew has an obligation to the person(s) who raised him, who did the real work of parenting. He needs to consider their feelings. It seems that his bio-dad was a loser who didn't care. It might be okay for him to seek out his bio-dad, but he shouldn't place too much importance on this, since the man is a stranger to him. Remind him that if his bio-dad doesn't care, that is a reflection on the bio-dad, not on your nephew. Remind him to appreciate the people who care about him. And remind him that he, and only he, has the power to create a good future for himself.
2006-08-01 16:57:24 · answer #5 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can tell him to forget about his father and move on with his life. If his father is such an irresponsible man, then there's no point to care for his existence. Tell him he can make a better life for himself and be a man that's caring and loving and nothing like his father. I would do that if I were you, but it all depends on how he's going to react to this.
2006-08-01 16:51:21 · answer #6 · answered by Susieq1118 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your nephew really wants to find his father, he will succeed. You might want to encourage him to meet him via e-mail or telephone, as these media are less harsh than meeting someone face-to-face who might slam the door on him. When your newphew finds his father, make suggestions as to what to say, like, "19 years ago, you met a girl named ___. I am her son, and I have always wanted to meet my father."
2006-08-01 16:53:00 · answer #7 · answered by TomServo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It'll probably pass. It did for me, I was interested for about 2 months in finding my father, then I got bored with that and never looked back.
Remember, it might be the best thing that ever happened to him not knowing his father, who knows. Don't get upset about it.
2006-08-01 16:50:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help him find his father. It's his right and he will never forgive whoever tried to stop him. He's old enough to distinguish between a real father and a sperm donor, but he has to find this out for himself.
2006-08-01 16:50:03 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that can be really hard just sit down with him and talk show him you care. help him find his dad but let him know what he's dealing with. you just have to tell him the truth in a gentle manner. good luck i hope i helped even just a bit
2006-08-01 16:50:03 · answer #10 · answered by kim w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really wants to find his father i would try and help him as much as i could
2006-08-01 16:49:41 · answer #11 · answered by Jamie K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋