I was so content with being single, I was happy, confident and having fun. I believed that nothing, and no one could take me from this life. Not after the way the last one treated me. But then this guy comes along, and not only does he crush every theory that I had on men, but he actually cared about me. I was a little confused because I did not know what it felt like to actually be taken care of. But I can't get attatched to him, I do not want to get hurt again. I hate him because he came into my life and turned everything upside down, he is trying so hard to break down this wall that I had built around myself.
What should I do? Should I Iet him in? Or should I just stop talking to him, hope that he finds someone else? If you think I should give him a chance...how do I do that? How do you forget all the pain and move on?
2006-08-01 16:12:00 · 20 answers · asked by pan2fly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
F*** that, don't let him in. You were fine by yourself once, you'll be fine again.
2006-08-01 16:16:45 · answer #1 · answered by Gorilla Hands 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't go through life afraid to be hurt. If you build up a wall then you will never live your life to the fullest. I know, I was the same way at one time. But I can tell you, letting your heart guide you may be a bit bumpier, but it is a lot more rewarding.
Give the guy a chance, he might be the one person who will show you what real love and caring is like. Let him break down that wall, but still keep yourself guarded, sometimes it can be too good to be true. Just be yourself, your trueself, thats it. If he cares for you, then the person he should care for should be the real you shouldn't it. I can tell by your words that you want to let him in, but you are afraid. DON'T BE!
Forgetting about past relationships is hard, but if you find the right person, then alll those memories will seem to fade away. I know that they have with me. Let them go. Its the best thing that you can do. If your a religious person, pray about it. Its what I do. It helps me when I need it most. Don't let the past control you. You need to control the past.
2006-08-01 16:35:33 · answer #2 · answered by Crash37 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello pan2fly,
I'm sorry to read this question. It's very sad and it sort of re-inforces the idea to guys that the only way to get a girl is to be a jerk. The fact that you won't allow yourself to let this truly nice guy into your life is self-perpetuating.
You really can't handle a nice guy when he falls right in your lap, and that's too bad for both you and him. The easy answer is to let him in, but you have to be the one to let your walls down to let that happen. If you can't do that, and he doesn't mind just hanging around you, then by all means, stay with him.
He'll eventually be rewarded when the walls come tumbling down, or he'll finally get tired of you, and meet up with someone who will love him the way he deserves to be loved.
I wish you the best of luck.
--Rick
2006-08-01 16:25:45 · answer #3 · answered by rickrudge 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is SO incredibly coincidental that you wrote this. I am in the SAME situation. THE SAME ONE! Well, this guy I'm dating is great. I DID let him in.......and I have to tell you I'M SCARED TO DEATH! Every time we say good-bye, I always worry that maybe I did something and he won't call me anymore. We said "I love you" the other day and >>>>>>>>>>>>.wow I am freakin. But I'm trying to enjoy it, because if I go around scared then I'll miss something good when it comes a long. Take a risk, and remember that you are smarter now, and you'll know the warning signs of a weirdo the next time you see them. Wishing you the best, God bless.
2006-08-01 16:17:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turned your life upside down??? and you say he cares about you?
Hes trying so hard to break down the wall you built around yourself?
I say don't let anyone completely turn your life around or break down the wall you built around yourself.
You liked your life before you met him, why let someone destroy all of that?
Your wall is a good wall. Everyone should have their own. As from what i can read you put windows to see outside and see this guy trying to destroy it. Make a door, and if your ready let him in. But for god sake don't let anyone destroy your walls.
And for the point your making about how it feels good to be taking care of; yeah it feels good for awhile, but prisoners are very well taking care of, and i don't think they like it.
Trust your instinct.
2006-08-01 16:34:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hell! Give the guy a chance. If he's not physically hurting you, mentally and emotionally abusing you, then what the heck do you have to lose?
Life is all about taking chances and loving, caring, and feeling all sorts of emotions to the fullest extent and never looking back.
2006-08-01 16:24:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I had someone liking me. There are so many lonely people in this world and your scared. I wouldn't chose to be lonely and he seems like a great guy give him a chance. I sure would just don't have sex with him. Let him do for you before you do ANYTHING for him. Watch him. If he wants sex alot let him go. If he really cares give him a chance. Don't be hard hearted if he shows to be a really great guy. But watch out, if he pressures you for sex thats a dead giveaway he is no good.
2006-08-01 16:17:41 · answer #7 · answered by LaToya J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you dont give yourself a chance the pain will never go away and you will never move on. Why dont you give this guy and chance. He might be a terrific guy and your blowing the chance to get to know him. This could be the man you are meant to spent the rest of your life with.
2006-08-01 16:20:42 · answer #8 · answered by wittlewabbit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, there are lots of people on this earth...
And surprisingly, the seem to all be DIFFERENT people... Not all the same single person...
So just because the last one hurt you, what the hell does it have to do with this one???
Have a open mind about new relationships... stop dwelling on ONE single guy...
There are lots of them out there you know... and most people try OTHER ones.. not just ONE...
2006-08-01 16:19:16 · answer #9 · answered by Sienna Baker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid of love! Every man is different, trust me. No matter how many you meet or who hurts you, the next is always his own man. Let him love you and let yoruself love him. Don't be afraid to get hurt. Look how strong you came out last time. It can only make you a better person!
2006-08-01 16:17:40 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...it sounds like you've really been hurt in the past and that fear is holding you back...don't walk away from something great just because you have a past...open up to him and let him in, this could be your soul mate that you're letting go, you'll never know unless you try. Don't let your past control you, i know its gonna be hard but you gotta let him in, you've gotta continue living your life and don't let things that have happend in the past take over and prevent you from being happy. Everyone deserves to be happy so go for it!
2006-08-01 16:21:47 · answer #11 · answered by c@ramel_m@mi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋