Funniest Joke in the World??

Question

NO PERVERTS. and no Sexual Jokes. I'm not in the mood

Answer 1

There are two guys living in an insane asylum and they decide they don't like it there any more, so they're going to break out. So that night they hide until after 'lights out' in their ward, then sneak up to the top of the stairs, onto the roof. From there, they can see the lights of the city spread before them. If they can just get across the alley to the roof of the building next door, they can got down to the street and out! they will be free!

So one of them takes a tremendous running leap, and lands on the other roof. "Come on!" he tells his friend. "You can do it! It's easy!"

But the other guy is scared, he doesn't have the nerve.

So then the first guy realizes something. "Wait," he says. I have my flashlight in my pocket. I'll turn it on, lay it down on the edge of the roof here, the beam will reach across to the roof you're on, and you can WALK across on the beam!"

But the second guy says, "Do you think I'm CRAZY??? YOU'D turn it OFF when I was halfway across!"

Answer 2

One day a blonde is sitting on a plane next to one of those annoying, pushy businessmen. He asks her if she would like to play a game. She politely declines, but the man explains the game to her anyway.
He says, "It goes like this: I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong you will give me $5, and vice-versa."

She says no again, and tries to fall asleep.

The man tries harder, saying, "Aw, come on. I'll give you $50 for each question. Or how about $500?"

At that number, the blonde agrees.

The businessman explains again, "If you get my question wrong you give me $5. And when you ask the question, and I get it wrong, I will pay you $500.

"Got it," she replies.

He asks, "Who was the sixth president?" She admits she doesn't know and gives him $5.

Now it's her turn, and she says, "What has purple legs, five arms and only two yellow teeth?"

The businessman doesn't know - he uses his laptop, checks the Internet, e-mails his friends. No one knows the answer. So he gives her $500.00.

Then, as they're landing he asks her, "What was that thing anyway?"

She thinks a few minutes, hands him $5 and walks off the plane.

Answer 3

how do you catch a bear in the north pole?

you cut a big circle in the ice and put a pea every inch or two and then go hide behind a igloo and when the bear comes out to take a pea you kick him in the icehloe it's funnier if you say it to someone than if you write it sorry :)

Answer 4

A farmer opens his fridge and sees a rabbit the farmer says " Hey rabbit what are you doing in my fridge?" the rabbit asks "Well isn't this a westinghouse?" the farmer answers "yes." and the rabbit says " Well that's what I'm doing, I'm westing (resting)

Answer 5

That leaves me out.

Answer 6

Well, I dunno any.