not that bad. im blond.
2006-08-01 16:01:10 · 16 answers · asked by pirates please 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
what do you call a smart blond? a golden retriver
2006-08-01 16:12:04 · answer #1 · answered by lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have several more...
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But. what happened to your other ear?" "The son of a ***** called back."
A broke blonde decides to ask God for help. "Dear Lord," she prays, "if I don't get some cash, I'm gonna lose everything. Please let me win the lottery."
Lottery night comes, but the blonde doesn't win. She prays even harder, saying, "God, why have you forsaken me? My children are starving. Please just let me win this once."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, and the blonde hears God speak.
"Sweetheart, work with me on this," he says. "Buy a ticket."
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little **** on your knee."
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"
Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
Those are my favorites. I don't mean to dis the blondes because all my friends are blonde and extremely smart. Hope you enjoy the jokes!
2006-08-01 16:59:25 · answer #2 · answered by faerie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not that I think there are more dumb blondes then brunettes - but heres a joke that makes me laugh:
Why did the dumb blonde's belly button hurt?
Her boyfriend was also a blonde.
2006-08-01 17:39:56 · answer #3 · answered by James R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish.
The redhead went first. ''I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!''
"Okay,'' replied the genie. And off she went.
Then the brunette went. ''I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!!''
And off she went.
The blonde started crying and said, ''I wish my friends were back here!''
2006-08-01 17:14:00 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK I'm a blonde to but here it goes! There was a blonde,Burnett,and a red head and they were told that they could jump off a cliff and say something and they would turn into it so the Burnett jumped off and she said i want to be a beautiful butterfly and she turned into a butterfly then the red head jumped off and said i want to be a dragonfly and she turned into a dragonfly and then the blonde tripped over a rock and said crap and turned into a pile of crap
2006-08-01 16:21:13 · answer #5 · answered by sports chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blond, brunette and a red head jump into a pool and start doing the breast stroke the red head comes out first the brunette comes out second and after hours the blond comes out, the life guard asked her what took so long and she replied the first two girls used their arms
2006-08-01 16:56:54 · answer #6 · answered by museum_gurl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK here is the best one so far.
A black haired lady walks into a store and asks the store keeper "how much is that TV ?" and the shop keeper said "sorry we don't sell stuff to dumb blonds."
Next day a red head comes in and asks the shop keeper "how much is that TV ?" and the shop keeper said "sorry we don't sell stuff to dumb blonds."The next day a brown haired lady comes and asks the shop keeper "how much is that TV ?" the shop keeper said "sorry we don't sell stuff to dumb blonds." then the lady rips off a wig and said "how did you know I was a dumb blond!?" the shop keeper said "lady that's not a TV its a microwave."
p.s. Im a blond also I get good grades A's and B's.
2006-08-01 17:14:50 · answer #7 · answered by Jazz_cullen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
12.... 1 to stir the batter and 11 to peel the m&m's
2006-08-01 17:09:51 · answer #8 · answered by sanc66 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.
The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hun," he says "How do you like your new phone?"
She replies "I just love, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though."
"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.
"How'd you know I was at Wal-mart?", she quietly replied...
2006-08-01 17:44:23 · answer #9 · answered by mafia man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you drown a blonde? you put a sratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool
ps im blonde too and i get A's and B's at school so not all blondes are dumb!
2006-08-01 16:13:05 · answer #10 · answered by blonde and beautiful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why was the blond staring at the carton of orange juice?
It said Concentrate on it.
2006-08-01 16:37:14 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋