The older u get, the harder it is to keep ur virginity. We women kno that there r a lot of guys out there that wants 2 get u once that find out ur a virgin just because "ur tight." If u come cross a guy that u could really like and they could really like u, should u tell him b4 time that ur still a virgin or should u just keep it a secret. In the back of my mind, i feel that i should keep it a secret and not tell him because i want him 2 like me for me instead of what i am and what it could do to please him. Do u agree with me or is there other advice that can better this situation? I just don't want 2 be used.
2006-08-01 15:50:08 · 41 answers · asked by Ms. Musically Inclined 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you should not say anything, but if it comes up, make sure to tell the truth. you will be much better off in the long run, no matter how much you feel like its better to lie at the time.
2006-08-01 15:53:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
u should really just give it up when u are ready fir the guy u have feelings for. if u tell him, i can assure u, and im a guy, that he will do everything in holy heck to bone u. weird thing is im a virgin too. and i'd want to bone a virgin girl even more. so dont tell no one, but at the same time dont just give it up like up. in these days, the prevalence of std's, and gawd knows what else, makes it a risk everytime u do. think of this scenario, u neevr had sex, and u finally meet this guy u love and u think he might be the one.
u decide to save yourself for him. but he is such a gentleman, that he never pressures u or makes a move to bone u.
so for a while nothing happens. the most the both of u do, is go down on each other. now, this is when the both of u know, that the both of u are virgins. but u wait, and one day u suddenly become so horny, u end up boning his best friend. his best friend happens to be a professional at de-virgining women, and u fell for it. but, u also develop an urgent need for sex, because u find that u love it. so u keep boning his friend behind his back, and soon u are sexually promiscuous.
here on end there can only be 3 outcomes :
the love of your life finds out, and he dumps u
or the love of your life does not find out, and u initiate sex with him which he thinks is the first time for the both of u, and then
he picks up the std, u got from the other dudes.
or u get pregnant somehow, and your life as u know it, ends.
2006-08-01 15:59:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's good to not tell him. Let it be a fun surprise when it gets to that point; do not let him "penetrate you" unless he can prove to you during your making out and foreplay that he is gentle and can take it slowly. You will be very nervous so it is important that he is a patient and gentle man.
An extra tip is to tell him that you'd prefer to go on top.
The other tip is to tell him that you do not "get wet" easily. That's a signal to him that he has to give you a lot of foreplay. Once you feel relaxed from the kissing, then let him get inside you but be sure to imply that you still "aren't wet yet." If he knows this, as he is breaking your hymen, he will suspect that it is just your vagina being unlubricated and he will go at a slower gentler pace.
Who knows, he may never even realize that you were a virgin in the first place; then, the next morning, you can cutely congratulate him on being the first guy to "pin you down."
He'll feel cool and studly about that and will probably have the heartiest breakfast of his life.
See, you're already not so much of virgin after all now that you have this information. You could keep it a secret to yourself forever if you'd like.
I'm already proud of you. Let me know how it goes when you are welcomed into the world of us non-virgins :) !
2006-08-01 15:58:47 · answer #3 · answered by Tones 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, if i were you and you feel that he is the type of person that will want you even more bc u r a virgin and are "tight" then do you really want to entertain the idea of giving him your flower? if u waited this long, you can wait til it is right and it should not matter to him if you are a virgin (except he should realize how precious it is to you and thus not take advantage of you) .... and while many guys believe that it is tighter if you are a vigin (which i will assume it is theorhetically), do u think a) they can really tell and b) they really care? you show me a guy that will not have sex with a girl bc her vagina is not as tight as a virgin's and i will show you a homosexual....(no discrimination there)...anyhow, if you are with someone then no secret (in good time) should be off limits.... so this just tells me you do not trust him fully with you and your heart and thus there is no way you should be thinking about sex with this guy quite yet... in my opinion, re-evaluate this guy and if you do decide he is admirable, then tell him and see how he reacts.... if he starts wanting you jump your bones within the week, then he is obviously not mature enough to handle it...if however, he talks to you about it and trys to understand where you are coming from and tells you that he doesnt care if you ever have sex (which is a lie btw, he cares and wants to, but he may be able to abstain for you bc he likes/loves/cares for you-but he will want it ...no doubt)...he will show his true colors, you just have to be watching!
2006-08-01 16:02:18 · answer #4 · answered by derek s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus relax. What exactly is your problem??? That you didn't get knocked up at 14???? That you don't have 7 kids by 6 Baby Daddy???
When the time is right you will know it. Don't EVER let anyone tell you different or you will pay a steep price. And don't ever worry what people think of you (including boyfriends). Being a virgin is a lot easier (and more attractive) than being a single mom who's baby daddy ran out on her.
You have got it right so far....don't stop now.
2006-08-01 15:56:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right that guys like virgins because virgins are tight, but I don't believe that is the main reason that guys like virgins. There is something about knowing that a virgin girl chose YOU to be the one that they want to lose their virginity to. Knowing that the girl had not let anyone else ever in her life touch her sexually, but she wants YOU to be the first. I think that is the allure of the virgin. Personally, I would not want to be a womans first time. I would feel terrible if I was the one she trusted to be the first and then something happened to our relationship and we broke up. I would feel like I betrayed her trust, even if I wasn't the one to blame for the relationship ending. I would know, that once her virginity is gone....it is gone forever and it is something she will never have again. I think being the man that causes a girl to lose her virginity, holds alot of responsibility in his hands. The way the girl views sex is largely as a result of her first experience....did he hurt her? Was he too aggressive and wasn't sensitive to the fact that it was her first time? Did he satisfy himself right away and leave her high and dry without satisfaction? She will likely get over these things with further sexual encounters with other men, but it will definitely cause her to either feel good or bad afterwards and about doing it again with anyone. I think there is no need to tell this guy you are a virgin if you are not about to have sex. If it comes to the point where you think he is pushing towards sex, then I think you should tell him you are a virgin and want to remain one until you are married to the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Just my opinion.
2006-08-01 16:06:52 · answer #6 · answered by typicalguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm.... Good question. I'm not going to throw out some, "Well, if he really cares for you, it won't matter" statement because, well, it would not be true. If a woman told me that, of course it would be a turn-on. Why deny it? But I hope I would have the dignity to respect her as a person and her right to determine the person, time and place for her first sexual relationship.
It sounds to me, though, that if you are still uncertain enough about this guy as to whether he is one of those who would want to get to you because "ur tight" as you put it, then it is probably premature for you to be volunteering that sort of information to him and most definitely too soon for you to be having sexual relations with him. I'd suggest you get to know him better first and don't volunteer the info yet. Maybe you will get to the point in the relationship where you will feel comfortable enough disclosing that information to him. Maybe not. If you don't reach that point, then I"m guessing the relationship is not special enough for you to have your first sexual relations with him. But if you do reach that point.... rrrrrrRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrr
2006-08-01 16:10:15 · answer #7 · answered by Didgeridude 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience I'd say its better to keep that to yourself. I dated an older guy, I was almost 19 and he was 23. He knew I had never had sex before. I also thought he was wonderful, very nice treated me good. Well low and behold the day I decided to have sex with him, he came over we did it, then he called his girlfriend. Which by the way I did not know existed. That still didnt do it for me, every time this jerk called me I said ok. That went on for 6 months then I had enough told him to leave me alone, and then i met my husband. that was 12 yrs ago.
I seen him a few months ago at the store and boy he sure was shocked. LOL serves that jerk right. He is now disgusting.
2006-08-01 16:01:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it doesn't come up in an actual conversation, then why mention it? It won't add anything and actually might worsen things.
If you tell him out of the blue and he continues to stay, is he staying to bag you, or is he staying because he really cares about you?
If you're a virgin and want to stay one prior to marriage, then why even mention it? If he's going to stay with you and ends up being the man you marry, then that would make a great honeymoon gift for him...
I don't see the need to talk about it if you're not going to do anything to affect or change your virginity status.
2006-08-01 15:55:10 · answer #9 · answered by DarthFangNutts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a guy, I wouldn't tell him for the fact that he should respect you either way. Also it is nothing to be ashamed of. Once again on the other side, telling him you're a virgin may cause him to want "it" more. Most guys are usually interested to the answer of that question, but unless he asks, I wouldn't tell him. There are pro's and con's to both sides.
2006-08-01 15:55:23 · answer #10 · answered by RoadKill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should tell him..Is there really a need for him to know that. I mean if things work out to where you are with this man for awhile then I'd say it would be better to tell him then. Good Luck girl! I hope you've found the right guy for this.!
2006-08-01 15:56:12 · answer #11 · answered by justwonderingwhatever 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋