Help, my husband is spooked!!?

Question

I am getting ready to go on a week long trip with one of my girlfriends, out of province. We have 2 kids 4 & 3. My husband has never stayed home with the kids for longer than the day, and he's making it a little hard for me to go without feeling guilty.
Just to let you know. I am an at home Mom, and I never go out without my kids, and i think that it is time!!
What should I say to make my hubby less spooked, and so I don't feel so darn guilty about going?
Thanks!!

Answer 1

help him to get organized. that's probably the main reason why he feels insecure over being left with the kids. you could probably make a daily schedule for him during the time that you are gone, so he'll know what to do. write everything down. and reassure him that you are just a phone call away, just in case something comes up.. you could also talk to your children. ask them to go easy on daddy while you are away. make it seem to them like it will be an adventure (that is not to say that having daddy around is not an okay time).

there just isn't any better substitute to the tender-loving-care that only a mommy can give :)

have fun on your trip out of town. you deserve it!!! :)

Answer 2

you have nothing to feel guilty about - you are their primary caregiver and it's time you got a break and no doubt you deserve one!
Have a relative to drop in and make sure he's handling things --- he should of been doing this over the years but since that's not the case - have the relative(s) or friend to come by or be on call if he runs into problems (or temper tantrums) --- make sure he has a list of the needed phone numbers - put down the food and snack items the kids like --- their favorite toys/videos, bed time stories etc.... main thing is for him to feel confident about being there with the little ones --- so make sure he has home support before you leave! Make sure he has their bedtime schedule and tell him to keep them on it!

Answer 3

keep it real just like you just did here. let him know that you deserve a break, you deserve to be apart of the adult world and to take time out to rember who you are, you are not just a mom and a wife, you need a life too. he needs to realize this before you become overwhelm with being cooped up all day long in the house, also tell him to be a man and thank god that this is not a every weekend thing cause it very well can be, just don't have too much fun and not come back when you say you are. then not only he will be spooked but so will you

Answer 4

Don't feel guilty! Just remind him that this will bring him closer to the children. Also build up his self esteem by letting him know what a good father he is. Don't forget that he is probably a little overwhelmed with the idea of doing everything and the possibility that he will mess it up reassure him that this will not happen. Talk over every aspect and remember you are only a phone call away. Have a good trip!!

Answer 5

What you are dealing with here is insecurity, I know because I am the same way. On one hand tho it will be really good for you!!! And him to for you to go on a trip :) He might be scared of you not being there because he has to do everything... I wonder if you come back it will be like a disaster area hehehe. Well I can understand him because he is so used to the same thing.
Here is what you do.. dont really talk about it from now untill the time you go!!!!!! Just dont bring up the subject untill you realllly need to. If he brings it up what you do is pretend he is a big baby... and talk to him in almost a baby voice and tell him he is the best man, well I mean encourage him. tell him things to make him feel superior over this situation like asking him if you can take certian stuff, this might divert his attention. I hope this works for you God bless

Answer 6

In the first place there is nothing to be guilty of. Going somewhere with your girlfriend is the most relaxing and exciting you can do for yourself. Talk to your husband about it and hey sometimes leaving the kids to their dads makes them realized that being at home is not easy. And he will appreciate you more for that. They need to have time with their dad too. Go girl and have fun. By the way that's what I'm doing too on October,

Answer 7

Just tell him to keep his eye on them. It's very simple. If he is a father he shouldn't be spooked at all! Don't be worried about your husband when you are out of town because this is your little get away. Call him about two times a day to check up on him. Basically he is being the mom for however long you are gone.

Answer 8

Tell him you'll leave him a list with the kid's daily routines, ideas for mealtimes, and favorite activities, games, and books the kids like. That way he'll feel more prepared. Warn him that it WILL be a lot of work, but reassure him that he's a good father and that he'll have a really good time spending so much time with the kids. Have a fun trip, and don't feel guilty! You deserve it!

Answer 9

First of all, tell him how much you trust him and you're sure he'll do fine, since he's a terriffic father. If he has any questions, no matter how small, you're a phone call away. Leave explicit instructions on when to take the kids to the doctor/hospital/just use a bandaid, and tell him you look forward to calling them each and every night.

Then let him know you feel guilty and could use his encouragement on feeling comfortable with this (to try to get him to quit trying to make you feel guilty).

More flies with honey, I always say.

Answer 10

Is there a neighbor or family member who lives close by that he could call if he has a question or the kids get unruly? Perhaps someone you could have check in on them and make sure all is well? It's natural for him to be a little anxious, if he's never had the kids before...

...but he helped create them so he should get the occasional turn of taking care of them completely...

Enjoy your trip...and bring him back something nice :)