My mother-n-law is very annoying,how can I learn to cope with her?

Question

My mother n law is a very annoying woman.She never thinks of anyone but herself.She is always sick everyday and acts as if noone else has a problem in the world. A few years ago I lived with her my family and I. She asked us to move in after her husband died. We were there about 6 months and she threw Myself and my kids and her son out on the street with nowhere to go. She still believes she was right for that. I cannot forgive her, someone please give me some good advice.? We were even paying all her bills. Plus she kept all the food that we bought for everyone including my kids.

Answer 1

You know I have been in spots like that... Where I just don't want to forgive people for the things that they have done to me... But you know, its gonna be hard for you to forgive her but you have too. You have your kids to think about, you don't want them to think that when people do them wrong that they should never for give people. I have a son so I know... You'll might forgive her but you'll never forget you know... She might not be the biggest person that you care for and she might have her problems and drama but she still is family and you have to be the bigger person... Just try to at least listen to her and see how it would be if you were in her shoes... I'm not saying that what she did to you and your family was right, cause it wasn't. But if you can't forgive her, do it for yourself.... I am a strong believe of what goes around comes around so don't stress you have those beautiful kids to worry about... But just because you forgive her doesn't mean that you have to be a round her all day long and have agree on everything but at least try to get along for the kids.

Answer 2

How often do you have to interact with her? If you don't live with her anymore and see her only on holidays and such, grin and bear it. It sounds harsh and awful that she put you out of her house, but I don't know all the circumstances that led her to it.

It may seem like you are hurting her to hold a grudge about that, but you are only hurting yourself. If you have to see her still (I assume you do otherwise you would not be asking for this advice) then let the past stay in the past for the sake of your family and your mental health.

Chances are she is getting old and will need you, her son, and grandchildren around so she does not feel alone. No one wants to die alone. Even if she never apologizes, be there for her because it's the right, albeit hard, thing to do.

Answer 3

Yeah, I've posted a mother-in-law question myself...lol JOIN THE CLUB!!! I don't even think my mother-in-law likes me. But anyway, that was cruel of her to throw you, her son and the kids out into the street with no where to go (especially when you said you were paying her bills). How does your husband feel about this? Do you live close to her? Do the kids visit her? Do you keep close contact with her? If you ever want to talk, e-mail me. Good luck!!

Answer 4

Forgive her for the past and turn down any future invitations to reside or even spend the night at her place. Be sweet when/if she visits. If she keeps playing sick and you know it's not too serious, lightly tell her "oh you'll be alright, we have to run now, need anythign before we head out?".

I have issues with my MIL and some of them can't be talked out due to her short temper and unwillingness to see another point of view. You have to let people like that argue alone and debate everything in their own head, eventually she will get exhausted and see you are still in tact and taking good care of yourself and your family.

Answer 5

Well first off, stop letting someone like this bother you. She obviously doesn't have much respect for you or the things you've done for her. Stop listening to her problems. What does your husband say? Is he defending her actions? Or does he agree with you? If he's defending her - then bite your lip and remove yourself from the situation. If he wants to help her, then let him. Just don't let it be financially and don't uproot your family to help her out again. If he agrees with you - then stop listening to her.
Is the things you lost (money and food) worth your sanity? Probably not. So let her be happy with her little petty victory. Live your life and forget about her, you'll have the bigger victory.

Answer 6

Sounds as though you have a mother in law that only cares about herself. Be glad you are out of there instead of having to deal with her. Be civil to her for your husbands sake. That is his Mother and will always be his mother. Sounds like she might be sick emotionally and wants attention.

Answer 7

Your mother-in-law sounds mental. How do you cope with her? You don't. You should have nothing to do with her. As she gets older and has no one to take care of her, that'll teach her but good. Anyone who would put their own grandchildren out on the streets with nowhere to go and keep their food is demented...seriously, the woman sounds evil.

Answer 8

I dont know what to tell you except maybe ignore her. Or instead of treating her nicely start talking back to her like you did your mom when you were growing up. And Dont hold anything back. Of course, if she has anything of any worth you might end up being kicked out of the will. But at least you refused to let her walk all over you!

Answer 9

You will feel better if you can forgive for the past.
That is only hurting you to carry that around.
As for her now, just don't get involved with her.
stay away, let your hubby deal with her.
don't call her, don't talk to her,don't go over there, if she comes to your house have a conflict so you can't be there

Answer 10

This book has all sorts of information on how to improve relationships: "The Feeling Good Handbook" by Dr. David Burns.

'nuff said?