Is it ok for a father to cry infront of his children?

Question

I am recently divorce and miss my children very much so. Recent events have my really emtional...so I limit contact cause I do not want them to see me cry. Their father is supposed to be the strongest man they know. So, back to the question. Is it ok for children to see their father cry?

Answer 1

you will not succeed in hiding how you feel from your kids.
crying is not the opposite of strong. in fact crying is a sign
of very strong feelings, not weakness. Just tell them "daddy's sad right now" and breathe. you will get thru it. don't limit contact with your kids. the real you is their real dad. that's what they need.

Answer 2

You don;t say how old your children are, but, yes, I think it's OK, under some circumstances.
Seeing Daddy cry could be frightening. They think if you're crying, something must be wrong..................
If you get teary-eyed when it's time to leave them, just tell them that you love them SO much that leaving them makes you sad. But, tell them everything is okay, and that you'll see them again soon. Make a point of making plans for the next time you'll be together, and keep those plans.
You're right, Daddy is supposed to be strong, but that doesn't mean that you don't have feelings. You are a role model for your children, you should show them that emotions are valid.
Be there for your children, cherish them, play with them, hold them close.
There will never be anything more precious in your life.

Answer 3

Absolutely- not only do they need to know their father is strong, but that he is also HUMAN, with feelings that can be hurt just like anyone else's. By crying, you ARE showing strength, because it's a way of coping with the feelings that are causing inner turmoil. The healthiest thing you can do for them is show them that it's ok to cry when you hurt. It's not good to bottle things up, and the best part is, you can do it in such a way that no one else even has to know. Let it out- there's nothing wrong with showing emotion. And spend as much time with them as possible- it does wonders for the healing process, and if you don't, you will regret having missed out on all the little things they did. They grow up very fast! Enjoy that time, and don't be afraid to shed tears of joy OR sorrow. Good luck- hope things get better for you!

Answer 4

By all means, do not be afraid to cry in front of your children; just make sure that they understand the feelings that you are experiencing because they are probably going through the grief process too.

You all need to hang in there together and get to the light at the end of the tunnel, as they say. As time goes on, there will be less and less episodes of crying and more times of smiles and laughter.

Just hold on to each other tightly; a better day is coming!

Answer 5

More importantly than your crying, what is it doing to your children to "limit contact" with them? No matter how emotionally hurt you are, your children need to know you care, and staying away from them shows them exactly the opposite. You're only proving to them that you don't care by staying away. Now, about the other question, what, afterall, does crying have to do with strength? In the eyes of a child, people who cry are only showing how they feel, not that they're weak. You'd do best to learn from that. Unless you've taught your children that crying is weak, then they won't think that. I've actually heard my own daughter (who's 10) express frustration over the fact that she's only seen her dad cry once (when the cat died). She thinks he doesn't care about things as deeply as she does because he doesn't cry. She easly makes the leap to believing that he doesn't care about her - which is not true - but from her eyes, lack of ability to cry is a lack of feeling. Is that what you want your children to think? I think you need to spend as much time with them as you can. Try to get out and do things you all enjoy, have some fun with your children - play with them (no matter how old). Concentrate on how lucky you are to have your children and how happy you are to have them. This should help keep the weeping time down, but don't be afraid to show them how you feel. It only means you care, and with time, that feeling WILL lessen.

Answer 6

Children (especially boys) need to know that it is ok for adults to cry. It is ok or them to know that you miss them. Don't limit contact with them because they will think that they have done something wrong. Just let them know that you are there for them and that the divorce has nothing to do with them.

Answer 7

Absolutely yes. As a father, as a man and as a human being, you DO have emotional feelings. Society is the only one who defines a man, 'man', as someone who doesn't cry- but that is pure hypocrisy. The strongest of men are those very ones who can show their true feelings, even if they have to cry.

As for your kids, I definitely don't think that they would think otherwise of you if they see you crying. In fact, that will be an opportunity for you as well to 'bridge' any broken feelings with your kids. It will be that very moment wherein you can reconnect with them, and just simply let them know that you too, are affected by what's happening to your family. With that, i am pretty sure that your own kids would be encouraged to show and express their feelings, too.

Let them know that you too, have feelings. And as sad as it may be, because of the divorce, you too, are very much affected by it. But after all the emotions have been expressed, let your kids know that you truly love them very much andt that there are still ways for you to express your love and attention to them. Also, it wouldn't hurt if you let them know that men do cry, too. And that by crying in front of them, does't mean that you are weak (as what the world defines it), but rather, you are brave and courageous enough to show your true feelings about the situation and that you also empathize with what they're feeling right now.

I am confident that your kids will understand you and would feel much closer to you because you are a human being after all and not a stiff person who is not affected by the crisis that is going on in your family.

You can make it through. Have confidence and believe in God who does wonders in people's lives. Just pray to Him for guidance on what to do with your life now and how you're going to make it through to make it up with your precious children.

Answer 8

I do not know how other people feel but I think it shows real strength for a man to cry in front of anyone. You just need to tell them that daddy will be ok as soon as he works things out in his life. I do not know how old your children are but most of them understand more than you think. Dont stay away from them, that will only make it harder for them to cope. Usually children blame themselves for breakups anyway. You do not want them to think it is because of them that they do not see you...GOOD LUCK TO YOU<<>>

Answer 9

Yes, they need to be able to see that you are hurting and not happy with the changes in your lives. There is never anything wrong with a man crying, and if you have sons they need to know it's ok to cry.

Answer 10

Sooner or later.. your kids will learn/realize you are human..

allowing them to see that would be emotional, but rather than push them away, I suspect they would be closer knowing how much it hurts you to be apart from them..

I wouldn't make a habit of it.. but showing a little vulnerability to your children is not a bad thing,, They may even feel more comfortable in the long run coming to you with their 'growing pains' knowing that you are not perfect..

Answer 11

And learning from their dad that it's OK to express emotions, and letting them see how much you miss them? Why would that be wrong? Just make sure to reassure them, and tell them that you cry because you miss them. Your limited contact will probably hurt them more.