why is spanking a child (as a last resort) frowned upon?

Question

even just a little tap?
i've heard women say that they find it unacceptable.
i mean, it's not as if you're beating him

Answer 1

I don't find it is! That is the problem these days. No one spanks anymore and kids are running wild! I spank my 3 year old son when he needs it. And he is a good and well behaved ( 99% of the time) kid.

Answer 2

First of all, I think that the women that say that spanking a child is wrong, are the first ones to point at others for the faults of there children. I think that the majority of the problem with today's society is that children aren't being disciplined. A lot of children today talk back to their parents and other adults, they have no respect. The child is running the house hold not the parent. Second of all I think it is partly the schools fault because they are teaching children that if you are being "hit" at home you are being abused...not in all cases. A spanking is a spanking, a beating is a beating that point needs to be made clear. There is a difference.

Answer 3

because so many idiots in the past didnt know the difference between a spanking and beating their kids personally, i find a little tap on the pamper works just fine with my daughter i look at the differences in generations and find that there were so many less behavioral problems in those generations where spanking was an acceptable punishment it seems as if todays parents will use about anything as an excuse not to discipline their kids and it is the kids who are suffering when i spank my daughter i hit her only hard enough to hurt her feelings and get her attention to let her know i mean business i would never hit her any harder i dont feel i need to

Answer 4

'Cause it doesn't make much sense. A parent will shout, "don't hit your sister!" and give the kid a slap. Does that REALLY give the message?

Spanking also increases the chance that the kid will more likely respond with violence when provoked. Say, if bothered by his or her sibling, more likely to hit instead of solve the problem in another way. It's just a hot-headed response but solves nothing, only gets everyone more worked up.

A less lazy way is to discipline with with time outs or other options. It actually lets kids get it out of their system - they can cry and kick and scream all they want in there and know it's useless so they tend to not bother. A parent hitting them tends to make many kids howl with crying even if it didn't hurt. Not spanking will probably save the parent more grief, both in the long and short runs.

Answer 5

Where I live all the kids I have ran into were brats. I told myself my child would NOT act like that. It is obvious their parents don't spank them. I for one believe in spankings ( not beatings). It worked good enough for my mom and I think if you're not doing it out of anger or harming the child it can be very effective. The child wont be hurt physically but more of hurt feelings. The 'I don't like it I'd better not do that again.' type thing. But most people believe spanking is abuse. Don't dare do it in public or you'll be condemned by society. I do believe a spanking is harmless and would do most of the children out here a bit of good.

Answer 6

Frustrating, isn't it? We live in a society where people want to let their kids raise themselves and just be their best friend. If my mom had been afraid to spank me, I hate to think about where I would be today. I love her for caring enough to do what wasn't easy. I was a brat, she had to spank a lot until about jr. high! Ha! I never viewed it as abuse, or hated her. I knew I deserved to be punished, and time-outs, sending me to my room, and grounding me didn't bother me at all, until Jr. high, when I started having a social life. Then, she used that to keep me in line, and didn't have to spank anymore. You do what works to get through to your child, short of abuse. A swat on the butt is not abuse, that's just stupid. I child under the age of three isn't going to respond to 'talking', they don't grasp language that well yet. Swatting them on the butt gets their attention, it's not, in itself, the discipline. Merely an attention getter. What those who are against spanking can't seem to comprehend is that those of us that do spank ALSO use the other methods. And, kids are not stupid, they can be taught the difference between spanking and hitting. Every child in my family understood that, none of us had problems with hitting people. That is one of the dumbest responses I hear. And, there's a big difference in an adult being mature enough to make their own decisions, good or bad, and a child who is LEARNING right from wrong, so the old, 'how would you like it if I spanked you' excuse doesn't cut it. You're comparing apples to oranges there. Spanking doesn't change the color of the sky from blue to orange, but it gets their attention, after telling them, that it's not acceptable to scream and throw a fit just because someone disagrees with you. And when spankiing is done right, it's not done out of anger. There, I think I covered all of the above's comments! The job of being a parent is to teach the child what is and what isn't acceptable. If that can be done without spanking, go for it! But I guarantee that those who are against spanking have not had to raise a strong-willed child, much like I was. I would have eaten them alive! Thank God my mom had more sense than that to know when I needed my butt swatted. I started a group, a support group, for those who do spank when necessary, if you're interested in joining. I just started it. I'm hoping we can talk about all forms of discipline, what works, what doesn't,and just support each other as parents. I'm on Yahoo groups under MomsForDiscipline.

Answer 7

Strangely this topic was covered in this month's Parenting Magazine - here's the article... (there are 3 more pages, press the link below)

Is It Okay to Spank?
Why most experts say no -- but many parents still say yes By Kitty O'Callaghan

• 94% of 3- and 4-year-olds have been spanked at least once during the past year, according to one study.

• 74% of mothers believe spanking is acceptable for kids ages 1 to 3, says another study.

• 61% of parents condone spanking as a "regular form of punishment" for young children, according to a different study.

Clearly, the majority of parents say they spank their kids. Various factors increase the likelihood, including geographic location (children in the South are spanked the most), family income (less money means more spanking), race (African-American mothers spank their children more than other ethnic groups), and religion (parents more fundamentalist in their religious beliefs spank more than those who are less so). But all in all, it's a pretty clear picture.

Meanwhile, for decades a long and distinguished list of experts has denounced spanking as ineffective, even dangerous. Ineffective, they say, because it only teaches a child to fear his parents, not to respect them, and dangerous because using force can injure a child and warp his understanding of how to interact with others: namely, that it's okay to hit someone to get your own way. And experts warn that children who have this antisocial lesson beaten into them are more likely to exhibit violent behavior later in life.

So why is there still a massive disconnect between what experts advise and what parents do? Are so many of us clamping our hands over our ears to "hear no evil," or do we know something that experts don't?

Kitty O'Callaghan is a contributing editor at Babytalk magazine.

Answer 8

Neither my mother or my grandmother had any issues about tearing up both me and my sisters butt! And you can believe no one ever thought about slamming a door, or saying, 'I hate You'

To not eat all the food on your plate was the same as the death wish with immediate consequences. And do not even think about any sort of a negative school issue, you might as well dig your grave and lay in it and have a friend throw the dirt in.

I look back on it, my mother and grand mother made sure that I respect all of you young ladies out there! No questions! I love them dearly, and I wish some of the adults of to day would take care of their children.

Answer 9

Because they don't have to live with the monster that they are helping to create by voicing their opinions. I think they need to mind their own business and let the parents do the raising of the children. A spanking that is not done in anger and is done for inappropriate behavior is appropriate as far as I am conerned.

Answer 10

I've never heard anyone say that a "little tap" is abuse. But some parents go beyond a little tap. Too many people smack their kids HARD in the heat of the moment and out of frustration. So I think that is why people are against spanking and most experts discourage it.