Is he an abuser?

Question

I met this guy who was really sweet to me for about 3 months then started to disappear for weeks w/out any reason I confronted him about it over the phone and he said I challenged his authority and it was almost like I wanted him to smack me around or something and any kind of relationship we have will have to be on his terms because he's the boss. He was married before and his ex cheated on him but it was she who divorced him because of mistreatment. He had never talked to me like this and I kind of felt nauseous when he did. Is he an abuser?

P.S. We are both Hispanic and Hispanics tend to be a little bossy, but I don't know if this is too much? We have been involved for 8 months though his attitude changed after 3. I am just trying to be careful for the sake of my kids(from a previous marriage)

Answer 1

Yes. You were just verbally abused. He threatened you. Please for your sake do not see him any more. If he is that telling so early on in the relationship he is really doing you a favor letting you see him as the bully he is. Who wants a relationship where a man sees him self as the boss?

Answer 2

in a relationship, the decisions should be equal, not one person making all of him. He sounds like an abuser and especially that his ex got a divorce because of mistreatment. If a guy ever talked to me like that i would dump him in a second because he needs to respect or the relationship will go down the drain. And this is probably only the beginning. It will probably get worse and worse so just get out of it now.

Answer 3

I would suggest talking to his x, try to find out as much possible, I have just went through with all of this and found out the hard way, we lived together first and then got married we have been married for 4 months and now we are waiting on our divorce to be final....mine stated out the same way, I couldn't had ask for a better person and then he started blaming me for all the things he was doing, he ended up coming home one night and beat the **** out of me, we went through him spending time in jail and when he got out we started going to counciling and church and had the best relationship ever, until he starting drinking again and then started threaten me so I had to put a stop to it, So please find out more of what you are getting into before it goes that far....I would say if he is controlling then you should move on...feel free to email me if you like or need a friend to chat with...

Answer 4

I would say the potential is definitely there and even if it isn't there, do you really want to be in a relationship where the man is the "boss"? maybe 70 years ago, but not today. Women can do it on their own and do not need a man for anything but happiness. Good luck!

Answer 5

Hard to say definite yes or definite no, but I will say this, anyone who makes you feel nauseous is not the right person for you. Better to get out while you just think he might be abusive than stick around and find out he is.

Answer 6

I think you have answered the question yourself. He is definitly an abuser, there is no excuse for that kind of behaviour. People like that hold on to thier partners by destroying there self esteem so get out before he causes you serious damage.

Answer 7

I would have to say yes he is a potential abuser, run! Ive been the spose of an abuser and it is a hard cycle to break, so don't start

Answer 8

i think he is he shouldnt be bossy coz youre not married afterall and if i was his ex i will divorced him too coz if you love the person you dont have to mistreat them.

Answer 9

HECK YES!!!! If he hits you get some high heels and put grease at the bottom of them and beat the living **** out of him!!!!

Answer 10

hey girl well i think if hes puting you down then yes thats abuse and you should not be wit him but thats just what i say