what should i do about my dumb *** girlfriend?

Question

i am going to the mariens and my girlfriend who is 6 months pregnante will not give our baby up for adobtion and i am telling her that it is the best thing to do because i want a life in the marines and she is going to ruin it and she is being selfish for not wanting to give the baby away. I told her she need to but she wont i am not ready to be a father and this baby should go to someone that can take better care of it though my girlfriend thinks she could do a perfectly fine job i asked her why she did not want to give the baby up and all she had to say was that i should have mention something sooner and she said she is already attached to the baby and could not give it away and she was crying though i did feel bad about making her cry she told me she has already got things and picked out the name well i want my future and i dont want this kid and she is being a dumb B**** how can i convice her to change her mind?

Answer 1

You shouldn't be convincing her to change her mind. It took two people to make that baby, but each of you has to make up your own mind. Whether or not you are ready to be a father has relatively little to do with the matter. I wonder how long the Marines will keep you considering the poor attitude you have about partnership? Don't think I'd want my life to depend on someone who is as undependable in real life as you obviously are. The Marines need men and women who can depend on each other for their lives. You've certainly shown that you aren't that. They'll see through you in a New York minute. Oh, and by the way, you will have to pay child support according to the US military laws, but that's as it should be - you fathered a child, whether you like it or not. If you can't "pony up" for the responsibility of being a father, at least you can pay the expenses. It sounds as if your girlfriend might be the only one with the reasonably clear head right now. Paying child support is going to ruin your life???? Get real. Chew on what an awful thing it is to take financial responsibility (obviously, you're not about to actually act like a father) for your child when you're kicking down doors in Afghanistan or Iraq. After a few months of that - if your buddies let you make it that far - and seeing how difficult life really can be for men, women, and children in the rest of the world, maybe you'll have some perspective on how awful it is to pay child support for a baby who's loved (by his mother) and living a safe life in the States. Your girlfriend's having a baby is not the end of your life. She's saving a life you'd needlessly take. Let's hope you make better choices if you survive boot camp, but you should realize that the Marines will expect you to act like a man and handle your responsibilites instead of running away from them. *Even in the Marines you'll go farther if you learn to use the spell check function.

Answer 2

HOW COULD YOU! U R THE SELFISH 1! Take a step back & look @ what u r purposing.. look @ everything! If you convice her to give up the baby it will haunt her 4-EVER!

She wants the baby.. so let her have it! If u want out get out! She doesn't need u to raise a family & u better not make her think so!

If she has made up her decision sit down & TALK 2 her about it... tell her CALMLY that u want 2 acheive ur dreams of enlisting in the marines & if she wants 2 she can keep the baby (make sure she knows that the decision she makes will be with her forever.) then decide from there if u can step up 2 be a man or not!

Look @ it this way... If you let her keep the child when u r done w/the marines u both might be able to raise a family afterwards!

There are men who do step up 2 be a dad & can still enlist N the marines... try thinking of her & the baby... not just ur-self!!!

U shouldn't B having unsafe SEX N E ways!!!!!

Answer 3

I think I can answer this for you or at least give you some advice. For one, I am adopted. My father was very irresponsible and my mom already had two other children and saw that my father didn't take very good care of his other 4 children so she opted to give me up. It was very hard on her but after we were reunited just 2 years ago...we all feel she made the best decision. I grew up in a very loving family that had the means to take care of me and provide with the things she couldn't have. That's one side of it...BUT when I was 21 I got pregnant and my boyfriend had other plans as you do. He wanted me to abort but I would not! I knew I wanted the baby and I felt very stuck and without any support, emotionally and other. So I talked with a woman who was in a similar situation and she told me that if I wanted this child I had to be prepared to do it on my own. So I made up my mind and offered to have have him relinquish all rights and custody of the baby so that he could go off and have his future and not have to be responsible in any way.
I would raise that baby alone. And he left.
He did come back when I was 8 months pregnant and had decided he wanted to be a father afterall and has lived up to that name.
So bottom line is either you tell her you want to give up your rights and sign off on it and let her do it alone or you have to decide to be a man and take full responsibilty. You cannot force her to give up a baby she is already attached to and already has decided she wants to keep...but maybe if she knows for sure she is in it alone and you will not be there for her at all...she may end up reconsidering or she may just end up raising the baby on her own. That's about all I can tell you. good luck.
By the way...she is not dumb...just trying to do what SHE feels is right.

Answer 4

You are the one who is acting like a total Jack A**. You can not just send a kid off and think that all is going to be fine. You should have thought about you "future" before you had sex with her. Now you want to say she is being selfish you are really being selfish and ignorant. Let me have her phone number so I can tell her how much child support and benefits she can get from you with you beng in the military and single. If you don't want to be a man about the situation then that child does not need your negative attitude anyway.

Answer 5

And what are you being? Certainly not an understanding boyfriend who fathered a child with his girlfriend. You need to go to the Marines to straighten your immature a$$ out!! It is not only your decision; if your girlfriend wants to keep the baby and take care of it herself then that is her right. You need to step up and be a man about the situation. If you weren't ready to be a father then you should have taken the time to protect yourself!! You really need to get a clue and grow up!

Answer 6

You're obviously an idiot. If you weren't ready for being a father you shouldn't have boned her. Now that you have, and she's pregnant, you need to accept the responsibility. I hope she does keep the baby. If she can take care of it, and you want a life in the Marines, then don't expect to feel welcome to the baby when you come back. Only you can walk the path in your life. Whether or not you choose to take the ethical way, you need to prepare for the consequences.

Answer 7

If you aren't ready to be a father it's your own fault that you didn't use protection. If she wants the child it is her decision and you lost your chance a long time ago by getting her pregnant. You can't just get your gf pregnant and then decide you aren't ready to be a father. If she thinks she can do a good job, then she probably can. After you have something living in you for six months you do get sort of attatched to it. You should never treat your gf like that ever.

Answer 8

I think you are being selfish. There are plenty of people in the marines that have a baby. If you were not ready to have a baby you shouldn't be having sex especially without protection. You can''t force her to give her child up for adoption. I hope she sees you for the snake that you are and leaves you.

Answer 9

It's a girl thing to be sentimental about the idea of having a baby. We grow up playing with baby dolls and families of dolls, listening to adults talking about how cute so-and-so's new baby is, how adorable tiny baby clothes are, the fun of looking in books telling the meaning of names, so on and so forth. Reality doesn't always fit into this picture.

Maybe exposure to a real baby with the screaming, the diapers, the expense of diapers, the spitting up, the crying at night will dampen her enthusiasm. Is there someone you know with a baby you could spend a week with?

Answer 10

Everyone who has answered is correct in that you were stupid not to use protection in the first place. You should have considered the consequences before having unprotected sex with her.
Now what you can do is petition to have your rights severed from this child. YOU will need to go to your local courthouse and find out what you need to do to carry this out.
Once you do this she will be free to find someone worthy of her and her child. Also should she choose to marry in the near future, she won't have to worry about you trying to prevent it because you are the father of her kid.
It's a good thing you are going into the military. They will teach you about responsibility and thinking BEFORE you do something stupid and unprotected sex is STUPID!
You just need to respect her wishes and SEVER your rights ASAP so that she can move on to a better life......without you. The two of you should have been a little more clear with one another before jumping each other's bones.