Why won't my kids go to church? I'm a 57 year old Christian whose children are falling away.?

Question

My worries about it are giving me chest pains....I worry and fret over it and feel I won't be around much longer to influence them. Understand, this to me is THE issue in life.....But I won't tell them the symptoms my worry has given me because I think that would be the worst kind of cheap emotional blackmail. What should I do?

Answer 1

I would have to ask, what kind of church up bringing did they have?

I was brought up Southern Baptist (I'm still in rehab), I walked away from the faith when I was in my late teens early 20's. I was into many bad things, don't have the time or space to go in to. I came back to the faith slowly over time. I now am in a Biker ministry. Hardcore biker, I also go out and do many different forms of ministry as well as preach from time to time.

In my youth church was forced upon me, not good. Compared to the things of the world, I thought church didn't hold a candle to it. (I was wrong). I saw a lot of so called Christians that were Christians in name only. They were not faithful, they did not live the faith, they played religion for show. But I learned that I could not let others define my walk with Christ. I started reading again and learned something real fast, It was not what I had been taught. I had to learn it for myself, I learned that my testimony was being built when I had walked away and it is now a tool that I use for the Kingdom.

If you kids are rooted at a young age (fact) no matter how far they turn they will come back. All you can do is live by faith. make your faith real, get active in real ministry. Put all of yourself in to serving. When your kids are around don't beat them up will the Bible, but love them like Jesus loves them. Pray and never stop. God hears the cries of his children and he will be faithful to you as you are faithful to him. Get past the emotional blackmail and get into the word. That is where you will find comfort.

And understand they are building a testimony, God will use them to reach others like them. I am living proof of that. I hang out from time to time with hardcore outlaw bikers. They know who and what I am. They accept me but hold me to a different standard. They expect me to live up to the claims I make and if I don't they will be the first to point it out.

I am hardcore myself, I am a long haired, leather wearing biker but I do it for Christ and for his Glory. I have been doing this for the past 9 years. I have kids myself. 2 are out of the church and one of those is running hard. But I never stop praying and I accept her for what she is and she doesn't know how to handle that but God does. They will come back and not because of anything that I do, but because it is the promise of God that my household will be saved.

God Bless you and you may contact me about this, I have been on both ends.

Answer 2

I'd go to the doctor and get on some medicine to help the chest pains. You are their father but you can't tell them what to do anymore. You know, my father knows that I'm not a christian anymore and has kept an open mind in what I have picked as my own religion. If they just aren't going to church every Sunday maybe there is a reason. Maybe they need to look around for a new church. Every church is different, even if they are the same denomination. As I said you are their father and you do have a right to tell them how you feel but don't force them to do something they don't want to. If my parents forced me to go to church for my salvation I would probably hate them for not understanding and viewing my choices with respect. I'd ask them and in a non judgmental way why they haven't been going to church. I'd just see how it goes from there.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

How old are your kids? Being 57 could tell me your childern maybe grown ups. Maybe all you can do is just ask them why and I am sure they have reasons for it. If they are of age already to make their choices then you cannot do anything against it.
Going to church does not necessarily make one a good and loving person. Sometimes it is best that you only do what you personally do about your relationship with the Almighty. Making their difference an issue may even take them away farther from what you want them to do and where you want them to be.
Just try not to judge them or make them feel guilty of any sins for not going to church. And if they ask you why are you doing it, then probably you could tell them that it gives you the satisfaction of doing it as a Christian duty who claims himself to be.
If they are not doing what you are doing, just make sure that they are good , happy children that knows how to show love and respect to themselves and to others.

Answer 5

here's what i learned recently...no one can force u or tell u what it's like to truly accept Jesus Christ into your life. i've grown up in a Christian family, and only just now am i beginning to realize how much i did not understand about Christianity. i pulled away in high school and college, eventually not going. but years after, i chose to go back myself, and am actually very involved. it's something my parents would always try to make me do, but i never understood the importance or the impact it would be on my life. and i had to reach it on my own. what i would suggest u do, is just encourage ur kids to be Good, Responsible, Loving, Respectful people. dont judge them for not believing or believing, because that will only cause them to turn away. live your life as best u can, with as much open mindedness, love, and spirituality as possible, and ur children will learn to respect u for your kindness and love, regardless of if they are doing things that are "against ur wishes" (ie not going to church). don't give up, pray for them, encourage them to be good people, but don't judge them for not being able to see what u are seeing at this time regarding religion. when i read Romans 5-8, and learned that thru Jesus i am not condemned to anything, i am not guilty, and there is no one who can judge me, that's when i was able to worship faithfully w/ my own heart, my own mind. good luck, and God bless

Answer 6

Truthfully, I gotta agree (if a little more gently) with what the other chap says.
My hunny was raised a devout Baptist, but there were events in his life that turned him away from God, but more specifically the Church. His mother is constantly pressuring him to get back on the wagon, but he only resents her for her evangelism.
He's starting to warm back up and he and I have discussed going to church together, but it's a conclusion that he had to reach on his own. He still has to find that place for religion in God in his own heart--as do I, for that matter.
I know you only want the best for your children, you want them to be saved according to your beliefs, but humanity has this pesky thing called free will, so each of us makes the best decisions we can at the time. Tell them how you feel, but once you've done that, make that the end of it. They'll come around themselves if they find it in their hearts.

And please pay no attention to the anti-christian haters on this website. They are truly ignorant children who need to have their keyboards taken away.

Answer 7

You realize this is the same pain God feels for each one of His children who turn away from Him.

All you can do is tell them what you know. They may be your children but they are individual people who have free choice. I suspect you may be feeling especially burdened by this because you believe you are responsible for them. Well, you are only responsible for being a light to them but not for their choices. It is very painful to see them turn away because you love them so much and you know what their fate might be. Just keep praying for them and remember that you aren't the only person who can bring them back. Many others can. They will always be surrounded by Christians if they live in America.

Answer 8

Are you being a good example to them? Do you go to church every time you are able? My husband always says things are "better caught than taught". A couple of my children don't go to church either but they know where to find me on Sundays. I invite them and I pray for them. That's all I can do and that's all you can do. If you're living a Christian life in front of them they are watching you.

Answer 9

Hi, its a pity that the young age dont treasure or continue the old traditionals. but this doesnt happen in your country or your religion, but all over the world and in all religions.

i'm taught and strongly believed and encouraged that, no one religion is allowed to force any normal people out in the street to believe it, neither your close family members.

we have entered into a new era with new believes and so. we cant just stick to one and treat them as the Only One.

Try releasing them and let them feel the freedom out in the world or even other religions that they want to be in.

Everything can be a new knowledge.

Dont worry too much. the more you used a religion to with-hold a relationship, the faster it sway away with wind.

Keep in mind.

All the best.

Answer 10

You are not alone. In the words of a saint I deeply admire Saint Pio of Pietrelcina : "Pray,hope and don't worry.".

Did you know that Saint Monica prayed for 30 years before her son Augustine, came back to the Church? He later became called a "Doctor of the Church" and is now a saint.

The pomps of satan have the world in control.
He is purposefully making the world too enticing, too exciting, making the good things in life boring so they will be attracted to the quick fixes of entertainment and novelty.

My advice is to pray unceasingly, God will hear your prayer and in His time He will answer.