Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
How come we choose from just two people to run for
president and over fifty for Miss America?
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Bumper sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"
And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
2006-08-01 14:28:55 · 9 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
haaha those are funny
i love em especially these 2
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative
2006-08-01 15:23:57 · answer #1 · answered by A 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
make a range now to not expose into one in all those party those who drink always and get intimate with men. make a range to be an excellent and sweet human being. Be possibility-free...Love you sis. <3
2016-10-15 10:44:39 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clever funny facts
2006-08-01 17:15:49 · answer #3 · answered by Pd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow -- I didn't know kids could go to prison. Thanks for enlightening me. The Bible has sex and murder in it. It is much more suited for prisoners than children.
2006-08-01 16:06:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good ones!
It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
2006-08-01 15:16:20 · answer #5 · answered by not at home 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Willys cynical thought for the day;
"Don't get old there's no freaking future in it!" Thanks Mom, minus cuss word!
LMAO good uns!
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/
2006-08-01 15:29:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good reason's that made me smile...thanks.
2006-08-01 14:49:23 · answer #7 · answered by auntkarendjjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right on!
2006-08-01 16:04:09 · answer #8 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
got ADHD much?
2006-08-01 14:41:57 · answer #9 · answered by Zippy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋