How do u learn or try to love ur step-father who u only met when u were about 9yrs and I am 13yrs old. I was oversea when he met my mom and he convinced her to marry while I wasn't in the states because he had gotten her pregnant then he tries to act like he is my real father. And i really really dislike him but I am trying to build faith in God and i know God wouldn't want me to hate any1 so how do I try to love this man? He's so full of himself and I cant stand him so how do I learn to love him?
2006-08-01 14:23:17 · 5 answers · asked by Lady T 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
you don't have to love him (as a father), just try to get along with with, perhaps by being his friend but keeping your distance. Respect him because he is with your mom, but don't fell the urge to love someone that is not your father. Love is something that people earn with time and caring. So if that will be your case eventually you'll learn to love him. But you don't have to. (But once again: respect him)
2006-08-01 14:30:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Aww... well, just try to find at least one good thing in him and appreciate him for that. Sometimes it takes a REALLY long time for someone to grow on you, but if you see others praising them and liking them, it makes you feel like there must be something special there - so concentrate on that, and eventually you will (if Allah wills) come over it. It's reeeeally good that you are trying to like him, at least for the sake of your mother, and if he has married her, of course it will take time to adjust, but at least he's serious. :) Not just that, but you need to give the relationship time to grow. I got on almost instantly with my stepdad, but it took me yeeeeeears to get really close to my stepmom. Sometimes it's just the way it works, or their attitude or yours? :) Don't worry, you'll get there if you have the first step down (which you do) and that is the WILL (and want) to have a better relationship!
2006-08-01 21:31:40 · answer #2 · answered by Iram 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one will ever forget your real father. Don't act too rebelious and remind him and your mom that he's entering your family, your family is not entering his family. He's the lucky one, not vice versa. Be patient and your faith will strengthen and eventually will give you peace.
P.S. Talk to him and tell him the Lord is the Main Head of the House.
2006-08-01 21:36:45 · answer #3 · answered by artmastercf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First comes tolerance, then acceptance, then maybe, one day, will come love. You can't force yourself to love someone any more than someone else can force you to love them.
Follow the steps above.
2006-08-01 21:31:37 · answer #4 · answered by normobrian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honor your mother and father doesn't say you have to love them just honor them.
2006-08-02 04:31:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋