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A woman confided to her girlfriend, "My ex-husband wants to marry me again."

The friend said, "How flattering."

The woman replied, "Not really. I think he's after the money I married him for."

2006-08-01 13:16:34 · 14 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

Dear Tennis_Ace,
"Willy" Already posted that, and yes I have seen it, and that leads me to... no 10 pts. for you so go away now please check ya later ♥

2006-08-01 14:15:40 · update #1

14 answers

Thanks, in my mood I needed a smile.

2006-08-01 13:25:54 · answer #1 · answered by vixen 2 · 6 1

How about this JOKE.
Differences Between Men And Women In The Shower

Shower Habits Of Men And Women
How to Shower Like a Woman
1. Take off fourteen layers of clothing you put on this morning.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing robe and towel on head. If you happen to see husband along the way, ignore juvenile "turban-head" jokes and run to bathroom.
3. Look at womanly physique in mirror and stick out stomach so as to complain about how fat you're getting.
4. Turn on hot water only.
5. Get in the shower, once you've found it through all the steam.
6. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
7. Wash hair once with cucumber and lemon shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
8. Rinse hair. Condition your hair with cucumber and lemon conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
9. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red and raw.
10. Try to wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Java Cake bodywash.
11. Complain bitterly when you realize that your husband has once again been EATING your ginger nut and java cake body wash.
12. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes, as you must make sure that all the conditioner has come off).
13. Debate shaving armpits and legs and decide that you can't be bothered.
14. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you get a rush of cold water.
15. Turn hot water on full and rinse off.
16. Dry with a towel the size of a small African country.

How to Shower Like a Man
1. Sit on the edge of the bed and take off the underwear you've walking around the house in all morning. Leave them on the floor.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing a towel. If you see your wife along the way, flash her.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Pat your beer belly with affection as if it was a great achievement. Suck in your gut to see if you have pecs. (No.)
4. Turn on the water.
5. Check for pecs again. (Still no.)
6. Get in the shower.
7. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (You don't use one.)
8. Spend 5 minutes soaping your body and rinse.
9. Spend 15 minutes washing your crotch and surrounding area.
10. Wash your rear end.
11. Shampoo your hair, do not use conditioner.
12. Make a shampoo mohawk.
13. Open the door and look at yourself in the mirror, giggle.
14. Pee.
15. Repeat #9, because it felt good.
16. Rinse off and get out of the shower.
17. Pick up the towel and sniff it. If it smells okay, go ahead and dry off with it. If it doesn't smell okay, holler to your wife to find you a clean one.
18. Return to the bedroom wearing the towel; if you pass your wife, flash her.

2006-08-01 20:43:38 · answer #2 · answered by Tennis_Ace 1 · 1 0

Hahaha... where do you find all these new jokes? I really enjoy your collection as I haven't read or heard most of them before! I'll keep checking on ya!

2006-08-02 01:33:24 · answer #3 · answered by 7FAM 4 · 0 0

lol i didnt c the lol! but i luve this joke! how did u post a best answer in 7 hours...it thought it took 24. neway thx 4 letting me use ur idea...btw on ur question i didnt know u used uh oh..oh well. neway thx bye!

2006-08-02 00:04:06 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ HeartStolen ♥ 2 · 0 0

ROFLMAO i love that one if u made it up urself great job if u didnt thx for brining it to those who have no friends to laugh with. Like me:)

2006-08-01 20:23:01 · answer #5 · answered by i fell again 1 · 1 0

He-he!

2006-08-01 20:54:09 · answer #6 · answered by Rogue 3 · 0 0

ha ha

2006-08-01 21:15:12 · answer #7 · answered by sarashapiro05 3 · 0 0

thats funny

2006-08-01 20:21:52 · answer #8 · answered by azulx 2 · 0 0

little things always crack me up lol honey

2006-08-01 20:36:36 · answer #9 · answered by lady heather 3 · 0 0

good one

2006-08-01 20:44:32 · answer #10 · answered by mad dog 3 · 0 0

Good one indeed...LOL!

2006-08-01 20:47:53 · answer #11 · answered by Sh00nya 4 · 0 0

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