Alllthough you know your children are going to leave home, how o you deal with it when it happens. I was young once, but is it because ive raised my kids alone that im finding it hard or is it hard if there is 2 of you?
2006-08-01 13:02:09 · 22 answers · asked by helen 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is always hard for parents to let their kids go when they grow up. Especially in your case it would be extremely difficult.
It will be ok, and you must have done good so relax.
2006-08-01 13:06:53 · answer #1 · answered by Biker 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey, Ed, the question was obvious to me. See the part, "...how do you deal with it when it happens..." I suspect you are one of the young people advised that their opinion is of no value, and that request was correct.
A lot depends upon how much of your life is focused on those kids. If your whole life is spent taking care of them, then you don't have close friends or other activities, so you will be not only alone when they are gone, but also lacking motivation. It is much easier to tell you what to do than it will be to do it. You need to find other friends, maybe a mate, though that is obviously pretty difficult these days, and find other activities.
One choice, if you don't have a college degree, go back to night school, and study something. Not just for career change, but to occupy and develop your mind. If you do have a degree, try another one. Most people in their life change interests. Now is your big chance.
Or take classes to develop a hobby such as photography.
My wife was lost when each child left, but not me. That leaving was what I'd been working for since they were born, it was their graduation time.
When I retired at 55 in 1997, I did not just stop going to work, and lie around waiting to die. I believed that retirement was a time to start a new life.
We sold our house in Iowa, and bought a mobile home in McAllen. We spend most of our time in Mexico, but also travel all over the US visiting kids. At 64, we are so busy and move around so much the kids send me e-mails, "Where are you, now, Dad??" It's not just they want to know which town or state, but which country.
When we moved into that retirement park in McAllen, I watched the other retirees, and told my wife, "I'm too young for this place. You have these retirees who walk around and around the park streets. Or ride their tricycles around. Nine years later, I'm still too young for that place. The good news is I am not there very much, and when I am, I'm bored silly.
2006-08-01 20:29:49 · answer #2 · answered by retiredslashescaped1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard whether you are single or not. Seeing them grow up and move out is very difficult. You've got to make certain that before that day comes, that you have friends in your life...so that you can rely on them in the lonely times. You want your kids to be independent but its so difficult to feel as if they don't need you anymore...but thats not true...they always need mom. Be glad that they want to be independent and move...as the saying goes, deep roots and strong wings....Get a bit of a life and soon you'll feel better. Even if all you do is go to the local book store and read...its getting you away from the lonely home.
2006-08-01 20:08:58 · answer #3 · answered by irishME 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard even if there are two left at home. I think moms miss there kids more than dads but that's just my opinion. Try to find a hobby that you like or find some friends on line. Join a group that has similar interests as you. Good luck with the "empty nest syndrome".
2006-08-01 20:12:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard when there are two of us too. I have 2 sons...it was hard to let the oldest (20 next month) go off to college...was he going to do the right things while I wasn't there, would he skip all of his classes? Now that my youngest is getting close to leaving for college (he's a senior this fall) I'm going through the same turmoil all over again. We wouldn't be good moms if we didn't worry...the thing you have to remember is that you taught them to do things right, you taught them morals and now it's time let them go and grow even more. They won't be leaving forever....they'll be back more than you want! lol Good luck!
2006-08-01 20:12:38 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll put it to you this way, I do think it would be hard to let your kids go, regardless of how many parents were there to raise them. I'm a single mother myself and I know it will eventually happen. I think it's because of the bond a mother creates with her children. Throughout time, it seems it's always been the mother that took care of the bumps and bruises along the way so it's only nature that we will most likely feel lost not being there to take care of those additional bumps and bruises, but TRUST ME on this one. I know a guy who is 34 and his parents are STILL taking care of those bumps and bruises, (of which he created himself). It will be hard, but the proudest moment in your life can be when they handle that first bump or bruise on their own. You can sit back and remember how YOU taught them to do that.
2006-08-01 20:21:50 · answer #6 · answered by ocangel1960 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a single parent with 3 children @ home all minors still. I think about when the time comes how I'd feel and well I'd feel like you do. I believe it will be difficult I just cannot see myself without my babies but at the same token we as parents must cut the strings and allow our children to experience what life has to offer them. Yes they will leave us but they'll still need us.
2006-08-01 20:09:54 · answer #7 · answered by Maria O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's hard either way because you invest 18+ years with your kids and then when they leave you don't have anything to put your energy into. When you've spent almost all your time dealing with kids it's quite a shock when you don't have them anymore. Empty nest syndrome hits everyone not just single parents.
2006-08-01 20:06:53 · answer #8 · answered by kinsey_ad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet its harder when theres only one of u, Im movin out of my house for the 1st times but my parents have eachother to comfort!! Id say just make sure ur baby keeps in touch, and u gotta let em go, its hard for us kids too but its gotta happen sumtime!!
2006-08-01 20:06:44 · answer #9 · answered by bettyboop344 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep yourself busy. No it does not get easy even there is two of you. Find a volunteer job, or start enjoying yourself like traveling, meeting new people. There is a life out there for you. The empty nest syndrome? Nah I am doing fine bymyself too.
2006-08-01 20:07:17 · answer #10 · answered by leyte6519 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now you will have more time for YOU, you can either use that time to be lonely or you can start using that extra time for YOU do stuff that you have wanted to do in the past but could not because you were looking after your children. This is YOUR time now!
2006-08-01 20:06:35 · answer #11 · answered by SlapADog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋