Teaching the kids responsibility?

Question

What kind of chores can I give my children with out them complaining "I can't do this!" What kind of chores do your kids have.My son attentionspan is horrible. I'll send him to pick up toys and he will start playing with them, maybe whine, and then leave them there again he's 7. I feel like I am making him into a lazy man not to expect alot from him. On the other hand my daughter is 8 and does an excellent job with her chores. How can I get him to work better? Or should I just keep pulling out the belt.

Answer 1

There's nothing wrong with giving kids some chores and teaching them to be responsible. When you tell your son to do things, start off simple....1 thing at a time. As he accomplishes doing that, add 1 thing at a time to it. Slowly, add more things to his "list". Build him up to doing 2-4 things in one instruction. It'll help build up his attention span. For instance, clean your room AND put your laundry away. Then, clean your room, take out the trash and put your laundry away. Each time, he'll have to pay attention to more things.

Easy chores for kids are: feeding pets, putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher, empty the dishwasher (putting clean ones on the counter), take out the garbage, bring garbage cans off the street, put clean clothes away, sort dirty laundry. They can also clean the bathroom....wash the sink, take the brush to the toilet, simple tasks. Use an example of what your daughter can do and teach him the same things. You care and that's the best place to start. Just keep enforcing it!!

Answer 2

First and foremost you must ask yourself what kind of an example are you? Kids learn so much by example. As for the belt??? That is the same kind of brutality my father used on me, like I was some kind of disgusting animal. BTW: people do treat animals better than that. There are other ways to discipline, yelling shows your child you cannot maintain control and a spanking is sometimes necessary but there are so many other punishments you could think of.

My son is 6 and we were shopping and looked at the comforters and he saw "Cars" stuff.. I told him that if he can show me that he cares about what his room looks like by cleaning it and picking up toys, etc. then in a month or so I would consider getting that for him. So far he still has not much interest, so when I atleast need him to pick up his toys, I take away him watching a fav. show or something and that always works. And yes he will sigh and take a long time, but that is alright atleast he is getting it done.

Oh and when he does it without complaining then I help him out and after say, wow wasn't that fast....sure is nice having a helping hand once in a while. He is very happy about that. Since then he has even offered to help me out when I am cleaning the house - ain't that just sweet. :)

Answer 3

First off...YAY for you pulling out the belt in the first place...so many parents are such whimps when it comes to dicipline...and then they wonder why their kids are terrors... My parents whooped my butt when I got outta line...I don't understand why people all of the sudden think it's "abuse" dicipline and abuse are two different things...but back to the point....

He's manipulating you...if he knows he can play and whine and the chores will go away...I'd play and whine too...maybe use an egg timer or something you can set that makes constant noise ...and tell him...you have 20 minutes...when this buzzer goes off ...you're toys better be picked up...and of course keep an ear out and when the buzzer goes off ...give it a minute or two...he'll probably play through the whole time and clean in the minute after the buzzer goes off...but at least he'll get it done...lol Also...you can assign him chores that he can do in your presence...like...bring you all the pet bowls so you can fill them and then he can take them back to the pet feeding area ...or have him bring his clothes hamper to you in the laundry room...You can take out the trash and have him replace the liners in the cans...

something that involves interaction with you...so it doesn't just fall by the way side...and little by little...give him more stuff that he can do on his own..

Answer 4

When he says, "I can't do this" then tell him, "Well then I can't let you play until you do." Our 2 boys are ages 11 and 10. The 11 yr. old is developmentally delayed. They started doing chores when they were 7 and 8. They have to clean their rooms, do their laundry and put away their clothes, clean the bathroom and take out the trash. Recently we've added one night of dishes, one day of feeding the dogs and cat, cleaning the dining table, setting the table and helping with dinner. They also do yardwork in the summer. I have their chores posted on the fridge. If they do all of their chores for the week then they get to watch tv and play video games. You need to find the motivation that works for your son. If he doesn't want to take care of his things, then he should have those things taken away.

Answer 5

At 7 your son can be doing a lot of different chores. The problem with boys is they "think" differently than girls do and you have to learn to tell them what you want them to do differently.

Be VERY specific with him. If you want him to pick up his toys and put them away, you have to tell him exactly what you want picked up (like his cars, his games, etc.) and tell him exactly where to put them (not just put them away).

I had my sons folding towels when they were 4 years old and older. When they were 4, I showed them how to do wash rags, dish clothes, and when they turned 5 or so they did hand towels too. I also would give them a basket of sock to match up and had them put all the stuff away where it belonged.

I let my son put the silverware away from the dishwasher when it dried (no knives though!). They also learned at an early age about taking out the garbage. Actually I had them pull the cans down to the street when they were about 5 years old and by 6 they would take the garbage out to the cans every evening.

By 7, they learned how to vaccuum and clean off their plates and put them in the dishwashers. I had them "sort" clothes into darks and lights too.

I grew up with my brother doing nothing and I was no going to let my sons grow up not knowing how to take care of themselves. Most of the time I turned what they were learning into a game instead of chores. They were more likely to enjoy it that way.

Now they are 21 & 17 and can take care of themselves (cook, clean, and even do their own laundry!). I don't require them to do all of this (I'm not a slave driver) all the time, but I wanted them to learn it all so if they move out on their own or if something happened to me they could do it (thank goodness I did too because last year I developed a clot and was in the hospital for 14 days and was on bed rest when I got home so they had to help out a lot along with my husband)!

Don't use a belt, just think of fun ways of introducing the chores and don't make it seem like a chore or use it as a punishment.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I was a single mom with 3 boys. I had no problems with them doing chores. I started giving them simple chores at age 6 years... taking out the trash, dusting, making their own bed, etc. By the time they were 8 years old, they were doing the dinner dishes, and kitchen clean up went with it and cleaning the yard. By the time my boys were in their early teens they were mowing the lawn, doing their own laundry, along with all the other small time jobs they started out with. I always did my best to give them an allowance. I gave them a raise as the chores got to be more and larger. When times were tough (we all have them) and money was scarce the boys worked on credit. Then, got paid back along with their regular allowance when the money was coming in again. They really liked that! With an allowance they learned responsibility and how to save their money for what they chose to save it for. Like a special toy of their own. Or for a special gift for some one else. Some people called this bribery. Well.... through bribery (if that's what you want to call it) my boys grew up to be good responsible husbands and fathers. I am very proud of them.

Answer 7

I went into the programs on my computer and I printed out a chore chart. I made simple chores such as three days a week is just emptying the trash from upstairs and the kitchen , one day is taking the dog out for 15 mins and giving it water after that , one day is straightening out his drawers and under his bed. They also had daily chores such as making their own bed and brushing teeth every morning and every evening .
so far so good, I only started a couple of weeks ago and they get stars for the days chores are done and they get an allowance weekly according to chores done.

Answer 8

make a chore chart with a few different things on it i did for my daughter and it helped a lot i had pick up toys water the cats and even brushing your teeth on the chore chart i would put stickers on the things she did for that day and if she got them all the whole week i wold give her like an allowance and take her to the dollar store to pick some things but let her pay it teaches more than just picking up that way kids like to be rewarded for the things they do good another thing is maybe see if he wants to help you around the house with things kids love to help there moms out if that doesn't work watch super nanny

Answer 9

How I got my son to clean up his toys was I asked him to put them away. I gave him 45 minutes to do it. Then i asked him to stand outside the room as I was going to. (I had said every 5 minutes clean up) then i went in with two bags. In one bag I put all the crappy toys I didn't want in the house anymore (ie McDonald's toys broken etc.) in the other I put any other toy that was on the ground. While doing this I told him one bag( bag1) was going in the bin...about now the screaming began "I will clean it up". I told him he had plenty of time to clean and now it was my turn. The other bag I told him he could have back in two weeks if he kept the room clean. I made him watch me throw the first bag in the bin. This was when he was 5, he is now 7. All I say now if the room is a mess is "Do you want me to clean it?". This is a guarantee that he will clean it well. 7 is old enough to be cleaning up his toys, feeding animals, taking out rubbish ,putting clothes in the laundry, setting the table and even wash dishes. You need to take in to account how tired he may be on the day how much you ask of him, he is only 7 but in general he should help as much as 8 year old daughter. Boys play on the helpless thing more than girls (son has twin sister)I see it all the time. The key is not to let it happen...future wives will not appreciate it lol

Answer 10

My 6 year old sets the table for supper and I'm teaching him to fold towels. It requires a lot of patience! Your kids will be different, I know it's hard but try not to compare. Will be different due to gender, birth order, personality, etc. Make picking up toys a race or a game. I count to 20 and have my guys try to have them all up before I get there. Some kids respond well to a behavior chart--get "stars" for completing chores well, and a prize for a certain number of stars. I reserve spanking for open defiance or breaking major rules.