does the 1,2,3 method really work?

Question

my son is 12 months and i was recently given advice that to caunt to "1","2","3" then if he continues to punish...will it work for a 12 month old...how long should i keep himn restrained in his crib? i've been doing it for 1 minute (1 minute for each year of age( has anyone had success with this?

also..should i do time-oouts in crib? will he think he's being punished when i put him to bed at night and for naps?..where should i do time out?

ok for those of you that said "not ready to be parent" what would you suggest doing when your 12 month old pulls your hair or slap people in the face? say "oh how cute! he's slapping people in the face" that's what wrong today, too many children have no boundaries...every thing i've read says you should set limits starting at 6 months

Answer 1

Hi, it is so hard to know what is "right" 1, 2, 3, works for my child. If you want your child to have boundaries and rules then yes you start early, @ 12 months they understand NO and it will make it easier as he gets older to incorporate more rules, if you relax now he will know that he can get his way, then it is really hard to fix it later. When he slaps you, or anybody you hold the hand he slapped with and firmly say NO, and BE Nice, Be Gentle don't worry he'll get it! Good Luck

Answer 2

Yes the 1,2,3 method works as long as you are consistent, and as long as you do punish on 3. If you don't, you can count all you want, even up to 100 and they know you will never live up to your words. To them, it is an idle threat at that point. It may not work very well at first on 12 month old, but what you are trying to do is establish a pattern, a rule, and a set behavior. As silly as it seems right now, just remember repetition, repetition, repetition. That way, it will work when he is 2 or 3. If you don't start till 2 or 3, then it won't work till he is 4 or 5....see where I am going.

One minute times the age is the standard. You can adjust this accordingly as they get older, sometimes more is appropriate. And don't use the bed/crib. Find some other way to keep him in one spot for awhile. Maybe find an old smaller crib at a garage sale, or the playpen with no toys. Time out is good for some kids but not for others. Some kids need a little spanking. My son never responded to spanking, time out always worked best and still does. Only now it is grounding....lol...

Answer 3

The counting method only works once they can count to three themselves. I use it on my 6 and 8 year old, but started at about 2 or 3 years old. Time outs will work, but I don't recommend restraining him to his crib, that is supposed to be a peaceful place for him when it is bed time, if you restrain him there as punishment he may start retaliating at bedtime and not go to sleep for you. Try a chair against a wall or in a corner where he can't see Television or anything fun. And keep distractions away or he will just play.

Answer 4

I think the 1-2-3 method works as long as you are consistant and there are actual consequences. At 12 months that consequence doesn't neccessarily have to be a "time out". It may mean you take away the toy that is being played with or remove the child from the situation and firmly say "no". The crib is not the best place because (as you already figured out!) they will begin to associate it with being in trouble and it will confuse them. Find a specific place in the house to have as your time out area (we use our laundry room...not a lot of distractions there) and use the one minute per age guideline. We didn't start with that until they were about two though.
Good luck and remember...your child is just testing out their environment (and your limits!)

Answer 5

Don't put him on "time out" anywhere you ever want him to be content... If you associate the crib with punishment...you'll have a hell of a time getting him to bed later...he'll make the association quickly and may be confused as to why he's being "punished" when he didn't do anything wrong. pick a chair in your living room or a corner of the house ...whatever...just not a space he'll have to inhabit on a regular basis or a place that is supposed to be a santuary (like his crib or his car seat or his play yard or his highchair)

And as far as the counting...It seems a little silly to me...just speak to him...forget the counting...I find that if you just tell him he's about to cross the line...it helps them with communication as well as getting the point across that he's walking on thin ice...

"You need to behave yourself right now or you're going on a time out / getting a spanking / not getting any dessert"...I feel is more productive than screaming out numbers.

Whatever method you choose...consistency is key. Nothing will work if you aren't consistent.

Answer 6

No, don't use the crib for punishment. He will associate that with having to go to bed.
I've used the 1 2 3 thing on my grand daughter since she was born. After explaining that she would be punished in the " time out " chair if I ever got to 3, I 've never had to use it !
Now I wonder myself some times, WHAT WOULD I DO ????
The only answer is the " time out " chair though, and I know that !

Answer 7

Discipline is the best way to teach a child, most of all be consistent!!! If you choose to go with time out then make it a non-fun place- a chair in the corner, sitting next to you on the floor some place where he's not playing. I have a friend who the 1,2,3 did not work for her son so she counted down from 5 and if he continued to disobey then it's the discipline... I personally believe in spanking, but not everyone feels that is the right way and I'm not one to judge.
You need to discipline how you see fit, but like I mentioned earlier, be consistent. Don't punish for something then the next time let him get away with it. And yes it's one minute for every year they are.

Hope this helps!

Answer 8

1 2 3 WORKS FOR MY KIDS butonly because they are older (5 and almost 4) and they know they are getting whacked with a belt if i get to 3...i personally dont think that a crib is a good idea because you are right about him thinking he is being punished....try a smal chair out of the view of the tv...and everytime he gets up put him right back down. tell him NO firmly and no matter how much he gets up dont give in...i gave in all the time because i couldnt take the screaming and now my kids are just now understanding that what mom/dad says goes

Answer 9

I feel from experience you should just let him go free. He is only 12 months old babies love to play and explore. Yeah sometimes you have to put them in a playpen or crib cause they are venturing out somewhere they are not suppose to be or they are touching things they're not suppose. And no time outs for a 12 months year old baby they don't even understand what a timeout is and that is only going to frustate you and the baby. Try putting him in the playpen to see if he likes it if not give him some snacks to calm him down while he is in the crib or give him some toys or read to him. If none of the above don't work then just let him out. If he is going places around the house you don't want him to be or he is just roaming around making a mess then try buying a gate to keep him restricted in one area. I try the 1,2,3 method it didn't work for me either all you do is sit there and hear whaaaaa whaaaa for ten minutes to an hour or until they go to sleep and in some cases they never go to sleep and keep crying trust me it happen. My advice is to just give him something to do while he is in the crib if you really don't want him roaming around or just let him go free he is just exploring the world around him.

Answer 10

Using time-out or counting to 3 on a 1 year old is crazy! I agree with the daycare teacher. You need to use facial expressions and your voice "hitting hurts", but don't yell, just use a firm voice. Any parental dissapproval needs to be brief. Then you re-direct to something else. Use a lot of positives. He's just a baby for chrissake! He doesn't have the language to express himself. Another thing is get some parental resources. If not a book i.e: what to expect in the first year, then a parenting group counsellor.

Answer 11

NO!!! hes too young for that. u cant punish a 12 moth old . what is he doing that so wrong any how?? hes just a baby. you can tell him no but u cant punish a baby I have 4 kids so I speak from experience. my oldest is 22 years and my youngest is 5. just stay consistant when you tell him things if its no then its no all the time . keep the same rules all the time and make sure your mate does the same if u say no hes says no, and so forth, that helps alot trust me i have been through that too.