How do I respond to someone (a non Christian) who talks about things I'd rather not hear about?

Question

She goes on about parties, drinking, sex. She is a co-worker and I get a ride with her in the mornings. I need to know how to respond to what she's telling me. Please help!!

I like your responses Sarea and Phil. Thanks

Answer 1

Simply tell her in a NON HOSTILE way.., that you appreciate her trying to make conversation, but you really do not want to hear about other people's sex lives. Inform her you are a Christian and are not shoving religion down her neck.

Just ask her as you respect her, could she please show you some respect.

if she gets mad, she gets mad. I mean, if you show others respect, and they don't want to return the favor - you really don't need her as a friend.

Or you could just make other arrangements to get to work.

OR even better - start witnessing to her. If she gets upset about you "shoving religion on her" just explain that while you arent interested in her lifestyle and talks about sex, you had to listen to it anyway. Then make arrangements for other lines of conversation.

As I said before - if she gets mad, she gets mad and there's nothing you can do about it. When you follow Jesus, you can not expect to be well liked. Jesus had his share of people who hated his guts. And still does. If they did this to him, they will to us - Jesus said so.

Answer 2

You can use what she says as a witnessing tool and respond with Biblical reasons why you wouldn't participate in those affairs. You can pray and ask the Lord if this is the way you are supposed to be getting to work as well. Maybe He wants you to witness to this girl, never know, it could be a change of life He wants for her. Best wishes =)

Answer 3

This is where I become most frustrated with Christianity. You meet a warm-hearted soul who willingly shares her car with you (perhaps you pay her, perhaps not), and who opens up about her life to you, and the only thing your Christianity charity can encourage you to do is to ask us for a way to get her to shut up?

Talk with the woman. If she says she does stuff you wouldn't do, tell her you wouldn't do it. If you know a joke, tell her. If you have something interesting in your life, share it.

Your self-righteous attitude is (sadly) a good indication of what Christian love is like. It builds more barriers than bridges. Quite frankly, if the woman is putting up with your attitude, it makes her a saint in my book.

(Said with emphasis to make a point.)

Answer 4

Have you ever thought that she might LIKE you? Maybe she's trying to show off in front of you. If you are religious, does she know? Just say something like "Dang girl, I don't wanna hear this stuff. Don't you wanna keep some things personal?" If that doesn't work, maybe it's time to find another ride to work.

Answer 5

What does this have to do with religion, or at least with her religion. To me it just sounds like you're putting yourself on a pedestal, above such demeaning things.

But as to your question, does she like you? Does she respect you? If so, all you should really have to do is talk to her about it. Say, "When you talk about these things, it makes me really uncomfortable. Could we talk about something else instead?" If she doesn't respect you, you just have to deal with it if you still want the ride.

And if you do try to evangelize her, even if it's out of love, you're going to be looking for a new ride anyways.

Answer 6

Let your face do the talking here, let her see you looking disturbed, and uncomfortable. Hopefully she's in tune with everything enough to get the message.

Another tactic is to take control of the conversation, bring up positive topics that you do want to talk about.

If neither of these work you'll have to gently talk to her about it. Just be sure to do that in private so she doesn't have to feel embarrassed in front of everyone.

Answer 7

When she is talking about things that bother you...

Simply start out by saying, "Jesus loves you!" Or better yet, "God loves you despite any perceived misgivings that you have about Him!"

You had better be prepared with some good, kind and gentle words to follow whatever response or reaction that you get.

Answer 8

If you have another way to get to work, just don't ride with her. If you don't, next time she starts talking about it, try (very gently) mentioning a verse from scripture about an issue she talks about that makes you uncomfortable.

Answer 9

Dont say nothin! What are you, an ingrate? She gives you a ride to work, and you are going to tell her to stop saying whats on her mind?
Take the bus, and catch up on Revelation.

Answer 10

have you tried telling her that you have certain convictions and standards and that you feel uncomfortable talking about these things because you don't encourage them? I always tell people if they seem to indulge in certain things/tones/'words' etc. that they make me feel 'uncomfortable' (for a lack of a better word - it's when you know people shouldn't do certain things because of your beliefs but you don't want to chastise them or make them feel judged) and so far everone respected it.
I'd explain that I don't have a problem with her personally and that what she's doing in her freetime is ok for her but you don't like to talk about certain things because of you personal beliefs...

good luck with that =)