please help!?

Question

what would you do if your mother told you that you could not go got with a guy and your still living with you mom and you dont think she is right for saying that you cant go out with him and your mom is fighting with you and thretns to kick you out of the house if you date him and your 21 but have not place to go if you chose him

ok i have a job and i just broke up with a guy that was abusive in febuary

Answer 1

I DON'T WANT TO HURT UR FEELINGS, BUT IF YOU LIVE WITH YOUR MOM, THEN YOU MUST OBEY ALL OF HER RULES THAT SHE HAS SET, WHETHER YOU AGREE OR NOT. ALSO, IF YOU FEEL THAT THIS GUY IS THE ONE FOR YOU AND YOU JUST CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM, THEN HE SHOULD BE IN THE POSITION TO TAKE CARE OF YOU, FOR EXAMPLE, PROVIDE A HOME, FOOD, CLOTHES, AND A SAFE ENVIRONMENT FOR YOU AND IF FOR SOME REASON HE IS NOT ABLE TO PROVIDE THESE THINGS, THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO STAY WITH YOUR MOM AND ABIDE BY HER RULES AND ACT LIKE YOU LOVE IT! OR YOU CAN GROW UP AND GET A JOB, WHICH WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH THE FUNDS YOU NEED TO GET A PLACE TO LIVE AND BASICALLY DO WHATEVER YOU PLEASE WHENEVER YOU WANT, YOUR CALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Just reasoning with you mom and stay calm while talking with her (being calm would show your maturity), just make her to promise you that if you listen to her, she would be responsible and takes care of you for the rest of your life if you couldn't ever found a boy friend. And don't ever complain to you on why you don't get a boyfriend or grandchild in the future. If she promises you, she is pretty firm on her ground, and you can do nothing about it unless you make enough money to support yourself. But if she is reasonable, she should realize that she couldn't make that promise because she is well aware that she couldn't take care of you when she gets old. Then she should realize your points and let you go out. Even though she promises you, it doesn’t mean that you have to take the offer.

You can use me as an example. My mother asked me not to date while I am still in school. I listened to her, and I ended up girlfriend-less. Then many years after, my mother asked me when would I start to date. I just looked at her and didn't even bother to answer her.

Adult sometimes are full of craps, and we still make mistake all the time. You are the only person knows what is right for you and don’t let other people decide for you. But still, adult has experience; it is always good to ask for second opinion from your parents.

I can also see that your mother is just trying to protect you from all those “bad boys” out there. Just try to make her see that you are mature enough to make your own decisions. And try to be understanding and be patient with her.

It is just my opinions; do whatever you feel right. Good luck.

Answer 3

You're 21, so you're an adult and can date anyone you want, but since your mom is your supporter, I'd take a few first steps:
1. Sit down and talk to her about why she doesn't want you to see him. Anger comes from fear - it sounds like she is just afraid for you for some reason. Talk to her calmly about it.
2. Examine why you are living at home - is moving out on your own an option, and if so, how long would it take you to be able to move out? Is that a good option for you and can you start saving to do that?
Whatever you do, don't shack up with this guy you barely know (or any other guy) just to escape mom's house. Take it slow. If he's worth it, he'll wait until you're ready.
Good luck.

Answer 4

Get busy raising funds to get out on your own so you can date whom you please. While you're living under someone else's roof, then it's pretty much their call (right or wrong). Get a job (or two or three, whatever it takes) and rent yourself an apartment or share a place with a friend....get out and get some independence...

...then it's up to you...you make the decisions (good or bad) and you live with the results...but you won't have to worry about someone making the decisions for you...you're old enough to be doing that for yourself now...

...is this guy really THAT bad? There must be some reason your mother is so set against you seeing him...it's not like you're 15 and he's 20-something...

Answer 5

If you're 21 and still living at home, that is not quite normal. If you are 21 and your mother says who you date, there is a problem. You should probably get a job and move out, it sounds as if it's starting to get a little creepy. Aside from that, when I was 16 my mother told me I couldn't date the man I'm married to now, and I can't imagine how terrible it would be not to be married to him. Then again, maybe you should heed your mother's warning, why did she tell you to stay away from him? Maybe it was good advice, either way, it's your mistake to make, not your mother's.

Answer 6

I have to be honest with you. I completely understand what you are going through and what you are talking about. I live with my girlfriend right now and I have for almost a year now. My mom would hassle me about my girl saying I was spending too much time with her and all this other stuff. Honestly if he is treating you good and he is doing the things he is honestly supposed to be doing as a man in your life, do what you need to do to stay with him. Find out why your mom feels the way she does. There might actually be some wisdom to what she is saying but if that is not the case then you might need to talk to your man about helping you out. The two of you need to find out if there is a way to make that relationship work. If he can support you then see if he can find you somewhere not too expensive to stay until you can earn enough money to support yourself. Other than that you might have to tell him he has to wait. If he wants to be with you that much and understands your worth, he will do whatever is necessary to make sure the two of you can be together. Regardless of rather it is now or later.

Answer 7

Well if you are 21 then it is time to move out so you can do what you want. If my daughter would be living at home then I would have every right to say what she is doing, because it is under my roof. Apparently there is something your mom does not like about this guy, maybe you should sit down and listen to her reasons. We parents don't do things to make our children's lives miserable it is part of being a parent.

Answer 8

You're 21, get a job, start getting money to buy a house of your own, and AS SOON as you are able to be financially independent and to be out on your own, get the guy. But I'm sorry to say that if your living with your mom in her house, her rules go. (It's like if you lived in an apartment with a strict no cat policy -or in this case boyfriend policy-). But did you ever think that maybe your mom was a very good reason for not wanitng you to go out with this guy??? maybe you're not seeing the REAL him and she is. Think about it.

Answer 9

Your mother sound's very controlling and at this point your living under her roof which makes thing's alot harder. You say you just started dating this individual but is it possible to live with him? Do you know him well enough to do this? or if your working have you considered getting your own place? Do you have any friend's that will let you stay with them? These are really your only option's because it doesn't sound as if your mom is going to give in. If you love him enough you'll find away.

Answer 10

I'm not being rude but I've been there done that...Time to MOVE out! My mother was like that too...But don't do it for the guy, do it for yourself! Don't you have a job to support you if you move out? By 21, If you have been living with your parents, you should have some money saved up right?