Well Hurry Up I need the Advice ..........................Can you help me?

Question

I am 23 engaged to a man who's 36 we both work however before I was in a relationship with him he was financially strapped due to 2 children which he pays child support, 2 children which he is sole responsible for and they reside with us! As well as the overhead costs to live in the area HE desires to live in (expensive)! I am always unable to go out due to the fact that he never can find a babysitter for his children, he never has any extra money to go out with, also he is not outgoing! He and I have a child together which I pay 150 a week for babysitting him only pays for her diaper $20 bucks a month and medical insurance (he's maxed out so it's the same price as it was before her birth)! My I also add although I don't pay any bills at the home I shell out $600 bask a month for childcare! He and I haven't been anywhere out side the city limits and we very rarely go out together! He has Avery demanding job which can demand 12 hours or more a day from him! I am very sexually frustrated

I can't have an organism off of intercourse it's not possible! I also feel deprived because I get so excited to try and buy things we normally can buy I spend my money on things for the whole family later regretting it because I can't get my hair, nails, or feet done. Although I love my daughter I go through highs and lows of the relationship where I don't want to have sex or even feel sexy (baby weight). This relationship feels mundane! I need a change I feel miserable I try to look on the brighter side and say things will get better but I feel like after 3 years it's not how I would like it to be!!!!!!! I see other couples happy, outgoing, and just glowing I myself feel like I put on a mirage and I really feel like blah! Help me please ;-(

Answer 1

Owee weee, where to start. Ok focus on one problem at a time, then weave the other issues in as you begin to feel stronger. Don't long for what you THINK other people have. You will only make yourself unhappy with what you have, and count your blessings....

Answer 2

Life is not all you expected ti to be. Sorry to say these are the highs and lows we face. Childen are our priority, being young you probably dont understand this properly. Your partner is doing the best he can he is more mature is supporting his children he helped bring in to this world. give him some credit. Your a parent thats your first priority not going out partying if thats what you wanted it sounds like you chose wrong man. Married life is about settling down raising a family providing roof over there head.Try talking to him about spending qualiy time together, maybe you can organise for family member to watch children even if only few hours so you can go to dinner.Try finding someone else look after your daughter cut back expenses. Your partner would be so tired and worn out after big day consider how he feels. Put children to bed early cook him nice meal run bath for him join him dress sexy I'm sure he will get the hint.I dont thing age diff is important tho in your case i dont think you really understand the responsibilities of raising children. Think why did you choose this man what attracted him to you themn you will know what you really want. Just think kids will be hurt no matter what. IU was with guy for 9 years who had 4 chiuldren 2 lived with us 2 with their mum and i had a daughter it was a struggle supporting all. We provided them with love and our quality time was late evenings chatting snuggling. We waited until one was old enough to mind others went out for few hours once every f/n.

Answer 3

well, if you're not happy in this relationship, you should end it and move on before you get married and regret living the life you're in. although most relationships have their highs and lows, you're at your lows at the moment. I say try to work 2 jobs or find another job that pays more, to help out the financial situation. and as your sexual frustration, maybe you can try to masturbate? lol it's the best solution when you're sexually aroused and that your spouse isn't there for you. Or you guys need to talk to eachother and figure out a way to spend some time together. also if you guys don't have money to travel, try opening a different account and save the money in that account for awhile to travel with. maybe the reason why your fiance isn't out going is because he's getting older and that traveling may not occur to him, but best thing is to talk things out.

Answer 4

I'm sorry you feel like that and that you are so miserable.
if you are not happy then leave, sometimes a women is able to have more when she is alone. You can always go out with friends and have fun, they are so many programs that help single mothers get it together. If you knew he had two kids and you feel you can't leave him then don't complain, we tend to complain about how bad are life is, but never take the first step to change anything about it. So think about what you really want to do and if you are going to go threw with it. Don't be selfish and just think about getting your hair, nails, and feet done think about the kids and how they must be feeling if you are miserable I'm sure they are too.

Answer 5

Sounds like it's not gonna get any better? Is this really the kind of life you want? I"m sure you love him but come on!!! This frustration WILL lead to resentment. I would get out before it's too late. Why does he pay child support if the kids live with him? And your sexually frustrated???? Get out and run for the hills while you still can.

Answer 6

Don't look at other people, their situation is not yours. You have a lot on your plate and it's not getting easier.
First thing you have to do is take care of the babies.
Second, have a long talk with your guy and let him know that you need help in all aspects (money, sex, ect.).
Life is not easy but it sounds like you definitely need some "Me time". Good Luck.

Answer 7

You are a better woman than I am. I do understand you are going through some changes. Your life is too freakin hard, with no "me" time involved. I hate to say it, but you need to start checking around for a better job, affordable housing, and go back to school. There grants for single mothers that you need to take advantage of. You will be doing something great for both yourself, and your baby girl. You owe this to yourself, and her. Best Regards

Answer 8

If this is how you feel you would advise that you not marry him.Maybe you need to move out on your own a while. Try some time alone to think things through. And learn to masturbate, it relieves a lot of tension when you aren't getting any. A trick of mine is I get under the bathtub faucet and lay so the water is on my vagina until I orgasm.I call it an aqua orgasm.......

Answer 9

Put the kids to bed and take a bath together. Do a candle lite dinner dress to the nines

Not going out does not stop you from being together somewhere nice.

Answer 10

If you already feel this way about the relationship do not prolong it and get out. I honestly don't think that it will get any better. If you talk to him and tell him how you feel, it might get better for a little while but it won't stay that way, he will go back to his usual self. Trust me I know this one from experience.