What is wrong with parents who drag their hellspawn to nice restaurants?

Question

Are the rigors of parenting suspended whenever families with young kids enter restaurants, especially nice sit-down restaurants (not necessarily 4 or 5 star)?

Honestly, quite a number let their offspring scream, holler, run all over the restaurant, disturbing other diners, annoying the heck out of the staff, make huge messes, etc..

When I was a kid, that kind of stuff wasn't tolerated or else we were gonna get it when we got home.

So what happened? How did we come to this? I like to hear from others who have had to put up with this whenever you went out to eat. Or maybe from parents who allow this sort of thing (yes, PLEASE, share your wisdom). I'd also like to hear from waiters/waitresses/managers (both former and present). I'd like to hear from all sides.

Thanks in advance for sharing!

OK, all you people who are giving me this "you must not have any kids" jazz! That's NOT the point! The rest of civilization would like to enjoy a nice meal in a nice casual atmosphere (doesn't have to be 4 or 5 star) without a bunch of spoiled, undisciplined kids disturbing said atmosphere. That's what Chuck E. Cheese, McDonalds, and the rest of that ilk was created for!

I do have neices and nephews. Not quite the same, sure, but my brother and sister-in-law don't give in to that crap. They told me my youngest niece started acting up when they went out to eat and immediately left thereafter to avoid embarrassment and not to disturb everyone else dining there.

Answer 1

I think it is absolutely appalling for parents to allow their young to destroy the good time for others. I have personally walked out of restaurants in the middle of the meal, complained to the management, and left. As a parent, my child never has and never will act like that in any public place. Believe me, he has tried. With proper discipline and direction, a child knows how to behave. I'm not mother of the year by any means, but I do have my pet peeves and this is one of them.

How did we come to this? Society saying that we have to 'discuss' things with our child and let children run all over us! It is completely abhorrent behavior and not acceptable.

Answer 2

You must not have children or you wouldn't be asking this question.
I have two boys, and when they were younger we would take them to restaurants, when we had something special to celebrate. It is hard to afford the luxury most times. We always put them in the high chair or in-between us so that they couldn't run around. But as far as the noise, sorry, they are going to talk, scream, and giggle no matter what you do. They are children.
You need to learn some tolerance. You live on a planet that is shared with other people and children are part of that world. If you want a nice quiet meal, stay home and have it or open your own restaurant and ban all children from it. Otherwise, this just something that you need to be more understanding of.
Parents of children, need to know that they can take their children out for a fun evening, give Mom a break and maybe celebrate something, without people like you, giving them dirty looks, snide remarks, and down right rudeness.
By the way, your labeling the kids, "hell-spawn" I find quite disrespectful and tasteless!

Answer 3

OMG it's not just when you go out to eat. How about shopping at any store? The other night it was like the little "hellspawns" (gotta love it) where following me. I stopped to get a new cell phone and this kid was loud, dropping merchandise on the floor and finally threw an all out tantrum. Then I went to get groceries and there was a family with 3 kids. The kids were so loud they could be heard 3 aisles away. The parents totally ignored the behaviour. And at another store this kid was crying and whining. I ended up next to the mom at the checkout and she was bragging about how she could tune it all out. OMG!! Ignore the kids, what kind of solution is that? Hmm, that's awesome parenting isn't it? People should have to get a license before they have kids!

Sorry, I don't have a good restaurant story at the moment. I haven't gone out to eat too much lately. I'm sure if I did those little "hellspawns" would follow me there too.

The kicker - my daughter is 7 and she is always in disbelief when she sees this type of behavior. It's so funny because she will be giving 'em looks way before I do.

Answer 4

I agree. Other people's children can be very annoying when you are trying to sit down to a decent meal. Parents let their kids run wild at home and must become immune to the noise and bad behavior.
I do not hesitate, anymore, to immediately ask the parents to control the noise. If that does not work, I look for the manager and ask that the offending group be moved to a private location if possible.
I have gotten into shouting matches with disrespectful young mothers who would rather argue with me than discipline their children.
If the restaurant manager does not help, cross off that restaurant in the future and let the owners know why.
There is no reason for you to have to tolerate the screaming, crying, running around, dropping and throwing food that sometimes goes on with these bratty children.

Answer 5

Spoken like one who does not have kids!

We all try to keep our kids under control (some more successfully than others). However, the first thing you learn as a parent is that the kids don't come with an off switch or a remote control.

Fortunately, my kids are pretty well mannered in restaurants (of course, I attribute that to good parenting...). I too get annoyed when I see rude behavior from children and the parents make no attempt to remedy the situation. OTOH, I am *much* more tolerant now that I have my own as I am able to recognize the difference between a fussy/bored/fidgety child and one who is not being given proper ground rules.

Answer 6

UGH! I hate that! Parents do not discipline their bad a** kids! This is why they grow up the way they do.

I worked as a hostess at the Sands- a catering hall where Jewish people always had fancy parties, bar mitvahs and weddings for their 15 yr old daughters.... WTF?

Anyway, those little animals do not behave! They throw food, they mess up the decorations, everything! They ask for different meals every time they see you... so damn annoying. One time, I took a plate full of food and toldhim he had to eat it all or else he would be locked in the basement with the rats! He cried the rest of the night, and I even gave him soda with a little rum in it to calm him down. He was knocked out. I was only 16 when I worked there, so I didn't care if the kid was a little buzzed. He left me alone!

Answer 7

Honestly, I'm just as baffled as you. When I was a little one, I knew better than to even put my feet in my chair, much less get out of my chair and flit about the dining room. I worked in food service for many years before my current job and that was something that never ceased to bother me. It didn't matter if they were at McDonald's, Outback, or a pricier restaurant downtown, some parents just don't care and let their children do whatever they want. Which, becomes increasingly frustrating for not only other restauranteurs, but the staff as well. I was told on more than one occasion to "mind my own business" when I would ask a parent to calm their child down because he/she was running into waitstaff, going into the kitchen, or knocking things over. I was also called a few names once or twice. Here's a few links for you to read up on some thoughts of others. Unfortunately, for the most part, children without manners is about lack of parenting from somewhere or another. http://www.lestdarknessfall.com/Pages/parenting.htm , http://www.runet.edu/~junnever/agnewcullen.htm , and http://parentingteens.about.com/cs/disciplin1/a/childbehavior.htm?iam=metaresults%26terms=little+jimmy . Enjoy.

Answer 8

Being the mother of two very young children (20 mth and 4 yr). Yes it is difficult to control what unexpected behavior your child may bring to a restaurant. That is the difference between prepared and under prepared parenting steps into play. Good behavior, teaching self control, respect for others and patience starts at home. When going out with children parents should always have a "bag of tricks" so to speak. Games, toys, puzzles or things to keep their children occupied during those lull times when they aren't eating. Noise level is a huge issue for me when I find that my 20 month can't seem to calm down maybe due to his impatience or pure boredom, I take him outside until he calms down. I notice a lot of parents today, do not take the consideration of others when their child’s noise level becomes disruptive. Not all parents feel like they should try to be considerate of others while dining or attending events for that matter, they think people should deal with it, it's not their problem. It is a personal choice and I do believe this is a different time and people seem to be more impolite and less considerate of one another in general and it doesn't surprise me that you experience this more often in restaurants. Part of the experience of bringing children out to places like this, is to teach them how to behave in certain settings and if they are running around, then the parents certainly are not teaching them that.

Also times have changed and many parents, by no means is this an excuse, may feel uncomfortable disciplining their children in public. When I grew up, my parents didn't think twice about spanking us in public. Now a days people don't even say anything to there child out of fear of how it may appear.

Answer 9

Well, kids are just being kids and it's the parents who should be labelled with the awful names. Parents should stick to family restaurants and should also teach their children not to bother the other guests. But sometimes life catches you off guard - like when you are on vacation and you discover that all the restaurants that were cute and family-friendly at lunch turned very sophisticated at night. Or your in-laws plan a big family gathering but they long ago forgot about their parenting days and choose THEIR favorite restaurant where you have to order a $25 ground beef steak for the kids and convince them it's just like McDonalds. Sorry for the disturbance, but inexperienced parents do fall into these traps sometimes.

Answer 10

I know what you mean. I worked at Applebee's for a year and kids today are hellions. And they're so messy! When I was a child and I spilt something in a restaurant, she cleaned it up herself. Not too long ago, I had a woman raise the blind on the window, hand a child a crayon, and when I walked by she told me that I shouldn't worry, it would come off easily. I brough her a towel and told her I was glad it would come off easily for her. People today do not discipline her children, they run, scream, play, fight, etc whenever and wherever they please. Don't get me wrong, there are still some decent people in the world, but it seems more and more often that children are running their own lives. A five year old running his own life, that's a terrifying thought.

Answer 11

Kids will be kids, tis true. There are some who are worse off because of their parents' choices, tis true as well. I think any kid will be harder to manage when they are tired/cranky. Toddlers especially will try to push every button they can to see what they can get away with as well, and that doesn't mean they are always out of control. My older children are very well behaved but my toddler can be problematic at times. With today's society my first instinct to disciplne my toddler most often is not tolerated in public by other adults, so you see there is a catch 22 as well. I have had adults say to me "oh so cute your toddler is," etc. when all I wanted to do was take them home and "give it to them." So where does a parent draw the line? We have to pick and chose our battles wisely...so we only go out to eat once in a while and choose less expensive "tolerable" places. My story is as it is, I pray my child learns from me to act better =)