Grandma never follows thru on plans...any suggestions?

Question

My kids Grandma (his mom, not mine) always makes these great plans to do things with my children, like taking roadtrips or keeping them for a week or maybe 2 weeks for the summer but she never follows thru. I understand that things don't always go as planned but it is getting frustrating. She'll have me pack them a suitcase with enough clothing, drive them to her house and then she'll only end up keeping them for like 3 or 4 days. This last time she was supposed to be keeping them for 2 weeks, during which she would be taking them to New Mexico. Well, not even a week into them being gone she calls to tell me that she will not be taking them to New Mexico and that she would be bringing them back the very same day that I received the call. I love my kids, not trying to get rid of 'em but, I wasn't expecting them back so soon and it ruin all the plans I made. What should I do about this? Besides, not keeping plans, she's always late to pick them up and drop them off. What to do?

I don't want to tell her she can't see them but I am tired of her always saying one thing and doing another. She's a sweet lady but, this situation is getting old. FAST!!!

Answer 1

"Grandma never follows thru on plans...any suggestions"?

Jfoster writes:

First, directly ask "why" the plans fell through. You can't make assumptions that it's Grandma's fault. Find out if it's the weather or perhaps she bought the kids more than she expected to and then ran out of money for the rest of the week. Did the kids behave horribly and that's why she cut it short? Or perhaps she plans long trips but then
realizes later that she physically and medically cannot handle a longer trip.

Once you find out "why" , then you'll have your answer.

If it's a shortage of money, then send some money to share and the kids can stay longer.

If it's medical -there's nothing you can do except if you want to visit too and help Gma be with the kids.

Then, before the next trip comes, take the kids aside and tell them, "Children, you know Grandma is taking you for two weeks, she said, However, it's more likely that your trip will last only five days."

THIS way, the kids will not be disappointed andyou don't have to come down on Gma. Tell her that you'll expect them back same week.

If Grandma has"NO" legitimate reason for the short trips, try and cut the trips down so that the kids aren't exposed to her that much

As far as Grandma ruining your plans, you know you cannot depend on her so instead of planning two weeks, just plan a day out or two days out without the kids.

This way everyone will be happy and no one will be disappointed.

Answer 2

I agree with Miss Nikki... First, talk to your husband and make sure you two are on the same page about all of this before you talk to Grandma. The two of you need to be in agreement about what you expect from her, what you want to do about the situation, and what you will do if/when it happens again.

Also, next time she suggests that she'll take the kids for 2 weeks, ask her point blank "Are you sure you're okay with that? Last time they only stayed with you for 3 days" and maybe suggest an "imposed" timeline.

ahhhhhhhhhh, the joys of family. At least she wants to see her grandkids. Good luck!

Answer 3

You need to sit her down and just tell her how you feel. I had a very similar situation. Grandma always promising things then not following through. My husband and I invited her over for a meal. Afterward we sat her down and just told her how difficult this made things for everyone. It hurt the kids feelings and made them feel that Grandma didn't want them around. It made schedules difficult for my husband and I because we would give our sitter time off and then have to scramble to cover daycare when she brought them back unexpectedly early. Tell her from now on that you need to know FOR SURE what the schedule will be. If she can't conform to simple rules for having the kids tell that for awhile she will need to come to your house to spend time with the Grand kids. It has worked out for us and things are much smoother now. Good luck to you.