2006-08-01 09:04:52 · 48 answers · asked by angela s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
pestering you to do what? date him? - that's not right
tell him to leave you alone NOW and give you time to mourn
2006-08-01 09:08:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time you see him talk about how glad you are to have had such a happy marriage and that it was such a good marriage that you're really happy to live with your memories of him and have no interest in ever finding someone new because no-one could compare.
If by pestering you mean keeps checking to see how you are feeling or if you need anything then he's probably doing what he thinks your husband would have wanted him to do. Tell him you appreciate all of his offers of help but that you don't want to become reliant on him but if you ever needed a friend or help you would definately go to him. Tell him he needs to live his life and that you need to become more self reliant. If you say it nicely and kindly he shouldn't take offence
2006-08-01 09:18:05 · answer #2 · answered by madamspud169 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am truly sorry about your loss.
The question I have is, what do you mean by pestering? Is he hitting on you? Is he just not giving you any space? There is a difference.
If he's hitting on you, he's a piece of dog crap & you should tell him to get lost...forever.
If it's a situation where he's around you all the time, invading your space, it could be because he truly feels he wants to help you get through this. If this is the case, just have a talk with him, tell him you need some space, and some time...alone. If he really cares, he will get it.
I wish you the very best of luck...
2006-08-01 09:12:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what you mean by pestering. If he keeps offering to do fix up jobs and things like that, and you don't want him to, just say that you want to see if you can do things on your own, and if not, you'll be sure to call him for help. If he's asking you for a date and things like that, and you really don't want to go out yet, say so. Just say that it hasn't been long (or has it) since your husband passed, and you would like to respect him as a person and the relationship you two had before pursuing another relationship. But say you are glad that he is an understanding friend. That way he isn't totally crushed. :)
2006-08-01 09:12:10 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, my condolences on the loss of your husband. I lost my first wife 6 years ago, so I have an idea of what you're going through. As for the friend of his that keeps on pestering you, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, date him or get involved with him. He'll be a constant reminder of your dearly departed husband. It's up to you how you want to handle him. If you're on good terms with him but want him to back off, be polite but firm and make it VERY CLEAR that you're not interested. If you don't care about keeping this guy's friendship, then by all means let him have it. Good luck, and try to keep your chin up!
2006-08-01 09:10:28 · answer #5 · answered by sarge927 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you mean 'pestering'? If he's making passes shame on him and refuse to have anything more to do with him because obviously he never had any respect for you (or your husband), who needs friends like these. Especially at a vulnerable time he's taking advantage of the situation. Ugh. If he's trying to help by being around too much then tell him thanks but you need time to be on your own and will call if you need help but not till then.
2006-08-01 09:11:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you obviously feel that this is not acceptable and quite rightly for a few reasons. I'd say it's very early days after losing some one if he's hitting on you. If he's just being kind but making you feel closed in then best tell him that you are managing. It depends on which way he's pestering you what you say to him. Be assertive[ polite but firm] and he should respond accordingly.
2006-08-01 09:19:55 · answer #7 · answered by xbkw46 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.
Pestering you in a concerned about you way or a hitting on you way?
If it's the former just tell him honestly that you need some space and time for yourself.
If he's hitting on you then be direct, if he's this insensitive it is the only thing that will work! Tell him how disgusting and inappropriate you find his behaviour.
2006-08-01 09:43:34 · answer #8 · answered by pomme_blanche_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does he keep pestering you? Trying to date you or what? If that's the case, I would tell him to take a hike, if he was a true friend to your deceased husband, he wouldn't be trying to get with his widow....if that makes sense. Good luck to you> and my sympathy for your husband.
2006-08-01 09:10:14 · answer #9 · answered by babe_in_the_country 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why he keeps on pestering you, but tell him straight to his face that you don't like what he is doing or showing to you but in a nice way cause maybe he thinks you like him.
2006-08-04 22:50:13 · answer #10 · answered by wala_lang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell your husband's friend that you dont want anything to do with him and he needs to leave you alone! If he continues to pester you, you should tell someone.
2006-08-01 09:11:57 · answer #11 · answered by ♥omgitskris♥ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋