My two year old son screams when he dont get his way. How can I put an end to his screaming?

Question

spanking doesnt work and so far time outs have no worked either

Answer 1

You HAVE to follow through with a consequence. Time out, make him sit (where every you choose) until you say he can get up - I'd make that about 5 mins. If he gets up, put him FIRMLY back and look like you mean it! Say "NO"! in a VERY firm tone, and plonk him back down. Each time he gets up, extend the time out by another minute, and tell him that that's what is happening. Screaming is NOT the way to get what he wants, and he needs to know without a doubt that that's the way it is. He seems to be very determined, but he MUST learn that he is not in charge - YOU are. Don't let him away with it. You will regret it big time if you don't get that straight with him now while he is still little. Bad behaviour is NOT acceptable. It is disrespectful to you and your position as a Mom, and should not be allowed. Disrespect would seem to me to be the issue with the majority of issues with kids, and they need to learn that respect for others (and themselves) will get them way further in life than demanding their way. Hang in there, and develop a thick skin. :) You are not being mean, you are being the ultimate in LOVING by teaching him how to be a truly kind, courteous and respectful person. He will thank you for it when he is grown and understands what befefits loving, firm parenting brings.

Answer 2

Welcome to the terrible 2's!

Ignore them as much as you can. If you give in they will know they are the ones in control and not you. Which is not how it's suppose to be. I was a single parent when my oldest was 2 years old, so I understand where you are coming from about making up for Daddy not being there.

If you have to go in your room, put on music (first making sure that your son can not get into anything while you are in there) and just lay on the bed and relax. Don't think about your child out there screaming or anything.

Then come out and talk to your child. Maybe you can come to a compromise. You could always try outdoor voice/indoor voice game. Take him outside let him scream and then bring him inside and talk calmly and let him know the difference.

Answer 3

I know that this is going to sound stupid, but I think that the best thing to do is ignore the screaming. I know exactly how hard that is because my niece is 15 months old and she screams all the time. When her mom yells at her or spanks her for screaming she just screams louder, and my brother just picks her up; then everytime that she wants picked up she screams. I just ignore her and she stops a lot sooner than if I were to punish or reward her.

Answer 4

The first thing to do when your child wants something, whether you let them have it or not, is to acknowledge that you understand their request. After that if they throw a fit or scream, tell them you understand but the answer is no. After that you MUST completely ignore the fit, and do NOT give in. If you are giving in after bad behavior, you will teach them that acting badly is the best way to get what they want. It may take awhile, but eventually your child will learn that throwing a fit does not get them what they want. Also, make sure to give lots of praise when the child is behaving well. This will encourage the good behavior. They say for every negative thing you say to a child, you should say 25 positive things. That means lots of praise, and pick your battles. An adult should never argue with a small child: lead by example, stay calm. It will get better, I promise!

Answer 5

Hm, get creative. Things I've tried and worked:

Scream back. If he's yelling, I want candy, you yell I want candy.
If he's on the ground, kicking - do the same.
Tell him to yell louder, he's not doing it right.

After he catches a breath or has been doing this for a while - let him know you will listen and talk to him when he can speak normally or in a whisper and that this behavior is not acceptable.

Then walk away. If you're in public, drop what you are doing, goto the car and have him scream it out.

Indifference and slight teasing will help him to realize that yelling is not the way to discuss things.

Answer 6

You need to call super Nanny. No, seriously your child is just going through a phase and will most likely move out of it on his own. As, a parent I can appreciate that you probably want to help him move along a little faster. Well, from my experience I have found that consistent is the best thing for children at this age level. They are just now learning to exert their own independence, and sometimes even they don't know what they want. It is all very confusing for us. But, try to imagine what it feels like for him, one minute he wants to be cuddled and babied and the next he may want to do everything all by himself. And, while I know it is very frustrating you have to be clear and consistent. Set boundaries, children not only want that they need it. And when you tell him no, no matter what do not give in. Good luck!! I will pray for you and your family, I know exactly what you are going through, my daughter just turned three and is just now getting over her "terrible twos" Go into Yahoo health they have a really informative section on age development and what is normal behavior for two year olds and how to handle it.

Answer 7

sure, redirection is helpful for abour two seconds. you need to teach your son a lesson that he will remember tomorrow and next week too. i have twin boys (now six) and when they were two i took serious measures:

1. in stores i never bought them frivolous things just because they asked. not cereal or toys or whatever. yes it made them angry, but eventually they learned that wanting something is great! getting it is not even an option. i would give them surprise gifts at home to reward good behavior, things that they didn't know i had. the most important lesson to give your son is restraint. is he behaving badly because he knows how to hear "no"? or because you set limits and KEEP them? no, he acts like this because it gets him something!

2. time out can work. time out is not over until the bad behavior is over. does he scream?- put him on his bed and close the door until he is done.
does he come out? -put him back and sit beside him.
does he go into a rage and kick the wall?- hold him in your arms and tell him that you love him. even if you are as angry as he is, tell him he is a good boy and good boys don't act like this.

3. and of course: keep his sugar consumption to a bare minimum! and make sure he is sleeping enough. even if you have to sit by his bed until he's asleep every night for six straight weeks, do it!

4. you are the boss, if you don't teach him self control who will? he won't learn it on his own and grandma probably won't do it for you.

Answer 8

You can't put an end to it right now. It's developmental! There is a show on TLC called Surviving Motherhood and they suggest that you ignore it and give consequences. The more you give attention to the tandrum the worst they are going to get. Spanking doesn't help but boy does the tandrum get on everyone's nerves. I see why my parents spanked. It's hard not to. But ignore and consequences would be a good teaching tool to use.

Answer 9

You have to be consistent with whatever you do. Spankings only enforce violence. With time out you have to put him there and walk away. Time out is just that you don't exist so you don't talk to him or pay any attention to him. Let him know that he will sit there until he stops his screaming and yelling and then for two minutes more(time out should be one minute for each year of age).

Answer 10

Spanking and time outs are not very effective with most 2 year olds. Divert his attention to something else and calmly state "no" until he quiets down. It may take a long time the first time, but soon it will take less time.