I'm 16 so i live with my mother and my daughter seems to take her a lot more seriously than she does me. I try punishing her. I don't beleive in spanking or smacking my child so i put her in the corner for 4 minutes. well at least try. she always leaves and crys to my mother. shes even starting to call her mother. what am i doing wrong? i try my hardest to help out buh sometimes I just cant take it. please help.
2006-08-01 08:18:23 · 9 answers · asked by meg 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Her father is not in the picture. Also I do help with everything. It's just she would rather be with my mother than me.
2006-08-01 08:33:20 · update #1
Grow up and take care of your own child. The kid is calling her mother and listening to her better because she sees her as the mommy figure. If you fed her, read to her, bathed her and were with her like you are supposed to be, she'd be calling you mother.
2006-08-01 08:28:15 · answer #1 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That child is pushing your buttons. Tell her this WILL NOT be tolerated. It will not happen anymore. If it does there needs to ba a consequence. I suggest a time out spot...maybe the bottom step of a stairway,someplace away from people tv radio and traffic. She will have to sit 4 minutes, any longer and you loose the teachable moment...one minute for each year she is old. She first gets a warning though, you will tell her 'this behavior is unacceptable and if it does not stop she will sit.' These terms must be explained up front and you need to be consistent and you can not change the rules in the middle of the game. Then after 4 minutes you go to her tell her what she did wrong (eventually you could ask her to tell you why she was told to sit)and tell her to say sorry for her actions and then its done. She will need to apologize to those she wronged. Hug her and move on.
This will be tough at first, I did not believe it would work but it does. When I ask my boys if they need to sit the question usually sparks a instant change in behavior.
Some of these things are BIG- most adults we come across don't get the concept of actions having consequences.It is always blame someone else.
You asking this question shows you care and not alot of parents do.
Keep up the good work ... hope it helps
ALSO* important* grandma needs to know these new rules and she will need to help you apply them. Have grandma tell the child that if the child runs to her she needs to see her mother first. United front!
2006-08-01 15:52:46 · answer #2 · answered by DrVodka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask your mother to respect what you tell your daughter to do. Like if you put her in time out and she goes to your mother your mother should tell her that she needs to listen to you b/c you are the boss. As for her calling your mom, mother she needs to tell her I am not mom I am grandma or whatever she calls her.She needs to reinforce whatever you tell her to do. I know it can be hard b/c you are a young mother. I was there too. Where is her father? If her is in the picture does she listen to him? Good Luck I hope this helps.
2006-08-01 15:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by cristons_mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to J.P.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listen girl, being a mom at any age is super tuff. I feel for you.
One of mine is 4 also, and she already thinks she rules the roost.
You have to take a major stand to her and your mom.
Tell your Mom listen, she is mine, I appreciate your help with everything but I really need to be the parent here, and then be the parent!!! Keep strong with the corner thing... It does work if you stick to your guns. After your daughter sees that your not fooling around...she'll listen, it just takes alot of hard work, and don't forget to have fun with her too. She'll get it one day.
2006-08-01 16:17:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to have a talk with your mom and let her know that this is bothering you and that she is your daughter, not hers to raise and there is a point when mom just needs to step back and let you do the parenting, but if you need advice you are open for it. Let your mom know that you want her to grow up and know right from wrong and you want your daughter to realize that you are the parent your mom is just GRANDMA!!!! Your mom needs to understand this too! GOOD LUCK!
2006-08-01 17:36:35 · answer #5 · answered by chrissiewild79 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did your mom believe in spanking? Let's see, my brother instills obediance in his children through spanking, his wife chooses the psychological approach. Who's obeyed more? I'll tell you, my brother. I dare say if the wife also spanked like he did, their two kids would respect her too. Oh and make sure that when she's twelve and you're twice her age, be sure she realizes your mistakes.
2006-08-01 16:03:00 · answer #6 · answered by silenceheldstill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um yeah well your 16 dear. So you had her when you were 12? Good God I wouldn't take you seriously either. Maybe when you actuallly become an adult then maybe people (including your child) will take you seriously.
2006-08-01 15:25:59 · answer #7 · answered by J. P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get your mom to make her do what you tell her.She has granny on her side,which many does-stop that.Make your mom understand that you want to be her mom and that your daughter has to listen to you.
2006-08-01 23:11:45 · answer #8 · answered by RoxieC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your mother to encourage what you are trying to do.
2006-08-01 15:23:37 · answer #9 · answered by m_l_p73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋