How do I get my emotions and heart on the same level as my mind?

Question

Mentally I know that suicide is not the answer to my pain. Emotionally it seems like it is. It would stop the pain. But I also mentally, intellecutally know that is not the answer. I have a loving wife I have been married to for only 2 weeks, a loving son of 15 years, a new loving daughter of 13 and all sorts of other family both my side and my wife's side. I have a great job and a great life ahead of me but I am feeling so depressed it is hard to go on. I try to express it in poetry and in words. I spent two hours last night with the pastor of my church but my emotional nature will not fall in line. Prayer is not helping nothing is. I am already on one anti-depressant from before to make sure I dont get worse.
The trigger was a recent death at work. The man I did not know so well, reminds me of the death of my last really close best friend. Since then I am finding waves of emotion flowing over me. Increasing the pain with each breaking wave. My mind can't able to process it. Help me

Answer 1

You need more than talking to your pastor. You need a professional and most likely medication as well.

Depression is not just a mental/emotional illness. It can be a real chemical imbalance in your body and medications can help with that. I know, because I have been there and have contemplated suicide in the past. There IS help.

Get a thorough physical check up; make sure you are physically healthy. Untreated low thyroid, for example, can lead to severe depression.

Get a referral to a Psychiatrist. He/she can work with you to find the right medication. It may take a few tries sometimes. He/she can help you with your loss issues and grieving process. When you lose someone, you not only grieve for the person lost but for any other unresolved loss issues in your life.

You heart and emotions will eventually catch up to your mind, they are just slower and sometimes need help getting there. Trust me, I know, I have been there.

Answer 2

Dude just think...your son, your wife, your daughter...they all need you dude! You have to keep going no matter how bad it seems not only for them but for the rest of your family and friends! They need you! If you give up then you have let them down, and then you'll really have something to feel bad about. Just remember to look at all the good things you have. You have a job and a loving family, and many people don't have even close to what you have. Just remember that you are very fortunate, a lot of people don't have all that you have, it's might just be hormones or a chemical imbalance or some crap so what you're feeling might not even be real, and people are depending on you man! Sounds to me like you have plenty of things to live for...

Answer 3

You have classic symptoms of depression. You are not on the right medication. Go to a different doctor or try some SAM-E.
There is always pain, and feelings of hopelessness, its a constant balancing act between the heart and head. I would suggest the above with learning how to meditate, try hypnosis to integrate the mind, heart. Try yoga, change your diet, see a healer. I get panic attacks too that comes in waves, usually because Im scared of our own govt, the illuminatti, and I worry so much for my children and the future of America. I study alot and the more I find out the more fear I feel. I have to still my mind in prayer and meditation to deal with it.

Answer 4

It's all in your perception of the world.

You see, Emotions are the results of stimuli, not unlike pain or whatever the word for pleasurable feelings are. Now, your body never changes, so the resulting feeling caused by body damage or being kissed up and down your back never changes. Your perception of the world, however is constantly changing, so you feel different emotions from one occurrence when you're twenty than you did when you were twelve.

Case in point: do you still get infatuated? Do you still fear unidentified noises? Do you still fear severe thunderstorms? Are you still afraid of threats from bullies? Does your face still light up when you see a Baskin-Robbins? How 'bout McDonald's? I'll bet pain still hurts, though. Even if you're one of those badasses that can "take it" it still feels just as bad, you just don't jerk away any more.

Emotions aren't so hard to understand. The main thing that you need to remember is that, much like rainbows or sonic booms, there's no magic to them.

Adder_Astros
Powerful Member of the House of Light.
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Answer 5

I really feel for you.
I found some Bible versus that might help. I dont know anything about you so please forgive me if i sound presumtuous.
Make sure you understand clearly who you are praying to, you cant have true faith without knowledge and if you dont have faith your prayers wont get answered.

Psalm 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.

1 Peter 5:8 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Matthew 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Hebrews 12:3 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your
minds.

Check this site:
http://www.covenantfamilyministries.org/Teachings/Prayer.html

Answer 6

You should really go talk to your Psychiatrist and have him adjust your medication. You are not coping well with your situation and it is affecting all aspects of your life. A lot of times, people who can logically say "I have no reason to be THIS depressed" and feel "waves of strong emotions" it is due to a chemical imbalance. It is not an inadequacy of your faith or spiritual strength.

Don't give up. My father battled depression for years and recently found out that it was caused by misdiagnosed hypoglycemia and food allergies. I know this sounds unconventional, but his mood and personality really turned back to normal when he avoided processed sugars and other processed foods. These foods mess up your chemistry. By regulating your blood sugar you may be able to help yourself, even if you still need medication.

God bless you.

Answer 7

"The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked, who can know it?"

Your emotions are not being controlled by you, it seems. You need to look at it from the logical side. You have all of those things going for you, then why would you want to do that? You are letting the small things now affect you in the long run. Why would you sacrifice yourself now on the altar of the immediate in order to "stop" the pain? What impact would that have on your wife and kids? You need to refocus your priorities and get back to readng your Bible daily. Start with Job... he had is worse than anyone.

Job 23:12
Neither have I gone back from the commandment of his lips; I have esteemed the words of his mouth more than my necessary food.

Being in your Bible is the most important thing you can do right now.

Answer 8

have you thought about therapy? i have been working for more than two years in a psychiatric office and i know that it helps a lot of patients. if you already have the support from your family it might be an extra help... i would also advice to maybe go see a doctor and get a prescription for some different antidepressants, there are so many different kinds nowadays that have different ways to work in the brain, so it might not be bad to try out something different... definitely try not to figure the suicide stuff, it won't help anyone neither you nor your loving family... i really honestly would say talk to a psychiatrist about maybe a combination of therapy and medication. good luck.

Answer 9

You need talk therapy. Find someone with a spiritualness whom you can talk to that you connect with. It doesn't seem your pastor is meeting your need. Doesn't your wife give you some comfort? Talk to your doctor again. The medicine can be changed. Another medicine might be more helpful. Don't just let it go thinking everything will be alright, it won't. You need to develop a closer relationship with Jesus. Often depression is a spiritual battle. Satan wants you and he wants you broken and defeated. He would love it if you killed yourself. Call a church that believes in laying on of hands for healing and deliverance. Have them lay hands on you. Don't be afraid, it will help, it really will. Lord bless you and may He draw you closer to Him through all of this in Jesus name!

Answer 10

Remember that all things cannot be solved in one day. You must not give up the fight and really it doesn't appear that you want to.
Remember as a child that sometimes learning was easier if you did a little of a subject each day and that cramming didn't give you anything long term? I find fighting ways out of sadness and depression are like that. Return to your doctor and tell him what is going on so he can help, return to your Pastor and say you need more. Don't be afraid to reach out because there are plenty of us that want to help and understand.