would you be a bridesmaid if....?

Question

if one of your best friends from school asked your to be her one of her bridesmaids would you, even though for the past 5 years you havent really talked, until she moved next door to you, and recently have been talking like the past 6 months?

Answer 1

Well, here's my story:

(I had been friends with this woman since about 1986, when we were Juniors in High School)

In 1998, I was planning a wedding for August. We had all the dresses bought, the hall reserved, etc. He left me in April. One of my bridesmaids was thinking about moving in with me because she with living with her parents and I needed help with the bills. She decided against that, and we had a falling out over it.

I got married (to someone else) in 2003. A few months before our wedding, a mutual friend had a garage sale. I ran into the above mentioned friend there. We talked a little akwardly; ran into eachother at the store a few weeks later and talked again.

We (my husband and I) were having issues with bridesmaids deciding something was more important than the wedding, not wanting to be in the wedding, etc. We also had an issue that only one of the original bridesmaids (from the '98 wedding) was both in this wedding and had her dress. My high school friend still had hers, (she's kind-of an odd shape, and the dress was custom made for her) but we had only talked twice in the past like 5 years.

I had the mutual friend arrange for us to go out for pizza one afternoon. I asked her that day if she'd stand up for the wedding. She accepted.

This has rekindled our friendship, even though I primarily asked her because she had the dress.

I'd say, why not? As long as it's not going to be a total finacial disaster for you to do this, go for it!

Answer 2

Obviously you are uncomfortable with the role that's been thrust upon you, and don't feel that close to her.

Remember, being a bridesmaid is a lot of responsibility. You will be responsible for helping to make sure things go smoothly, as well as graciously taking on any tasks the bride asks of you. If you already are apprehensive about being her 'maid, you should bow out now, as to not totally burn a bridge later. You also will be sparing yourself the jaded feelings, and your loved ones a venting session about it.

I say tell her no, or if you've already accepted, tell her ASAP so she can find another 'maid. You should not be emotionally blackmailed into participating. Tell her you'd love to share in her day by being a guest, but you can not handle the 'maid responsibilities. You can always blame it on finances, too...since you'll be expected to pay all of your own expenses unless this bride departs from tradition and chooses to pay them for you.
Good luck.

Answer 3

It would depend on how you feel about her and what your current situation looks like. Being a bridesmaid is a testamony to friendship, but it is also an expense in the time / money department. If you are enjoying a friendship right now and foresee it continuing in the future, I'd say go for it. If you feel like she's just looking for another body for her wedding party, if you worry about being able to afford it, if you have any concerns of any kind, I would politely decline.

Answer 4

I would do it. That is a position of honor & if someone asks you to be a bridesmaid then that obviously means they consider you a good friend. About 95% of my friends are married already & so far I've only been asked to be a bridesmaid ONCE...and that happened just last year.

Answer 5

Why not?

I can only think of two reasons why you wouldn't do it--okay, three:
1) you can't afford the dress and trappings.
2) you don't like dressing up, or you don't like formal stuff.
3) you really don't like this person.

If it's the money, ask your parents or a friend to help you out. Or, tell your friend you can't afford it, and ask if there's a way you can be a bridesmaid more cheaply, or if there may be something else you can do for the wedding instead. If it's that you don't like dressing up, ask if there may be something else you can do. If you really don't like her, either suck it up and be nice for one day, or politely decline without giving a reason, unless she really, really, really wants to know why. You could say, "I'd rather not do it, since I really don't know you that well, but I'll be happy to come to your wedding!"

Answer 6

I don't think you have to feel obligated to be a bride's maid if you don't feel that connection with this friend, but if you feel that your friendship has been rekindled during the past six months, then you should feel honored to be a part of her special day...but I understand what you are going through, I recently declined an offer to someone because we lost touch, I still attended the wedding, but I just didn't feel that closeness with her...it's up to you, it is costly...but if you want to, go for it!

Answer 7

Friends loose contact with one another -- it happens, but when they are brought back into your life again, its always a good thing. If you feel like you want the responsibility of being a bridesmaid, go for it. If not, tell her as soon as possible.

Answer 8

Y not? Are the dresses ugly? Do u hate her? Weddings are fun. There are no rules that you have to be good friends for a long time to be a bridesmaid.

Answer 9

Yes, I would. It is another oppurtunity for you two to get close again. Real friends are few and far between so take them as they come. Why should you refuse to be a brides maid any way. I mean all you are going to be doing is walking up the aisle before her and maybe holding her boquet. What is the big deal? You are supposed to be friends.

Answer 10

I would think about whether or not this was a person who was going to be an important part of my future. Being in a wedding is supposed to be a special event witnessed by close friends and family. How do you feel about this friendship? Do you want to honor the friendship by being in her wedding?