What would you do if your child of 27yrs cashed a check that belonged to you?

Question

she has barrowed $ from family never paying it back. Now she stold, she just had a baby and I worry she might not involve me if I confront this.

Answer 1

I think you need to press the issue. This sort of behaviour could be indicative of drug use. The baby doesn't need to be exposed to that. You should call her and ask for the money. If she doesn't return it, you should call the police.

Answer 2

you could take her to court. That does sound sad, but you can either press charges on her, take her to court of forget about it. But, if you do forget about it, then you are telling her that she can get away with it and that you are going to do nothing about it. If she uses the baby as a way to try to bully you, then when you explain this in court, the judge is going to make her look like a total a$$. This may be embarrassing to your family, but, what is more embarrassing is that your friends and neighbors and other relatives will know what kind of a person she is, and, your other relatives will be real aware and weary of her to come over to their place.
Confront this matter. Even Dear Abby will tell you the same thing if you wrote to her. Let her know what she did was wrong and she can go to jail for that. Especially if she cashed your check at the bank....there are cameras everywhere. you would not be lying.
Do It NOW!

Answer 3

Of course I don't know her, so its hard to say... but everyone I have ever known to follow that behavior (basically stealing money and sneaking around cashing checks) was involved in some kind of drugs. (Borrowing from family and not paying back, I would consider that stealing as well).

As far as what you can/should do, if its only been recently that the check was cashed, you could try to call the bank and "stop payment" on it, you'd have to pay a fee but maybe they would somehow be able to reverse her transaction and save you some of the money.

If you don't confront her, she'll continue to do it. And if you don't get her to start acting with some decency and stop stealing, then this behaviour would probably pass on to her baby as it grows up.

I am a parent myself, and my daughter isn't quite old enough for me to have to worry about this type of issue, but you better believe that if I found out she was doing something like this I'd surely confront her, try to see why she's doing it, and then just keep myself on guard for any future instances (and keep a closer eye on my checks / money around her until I felt like I could trust her again).

Answer 4

It sounds like she has been able to get away with a lot her whole life and there comes a point when you have to put a stop to it. Is this the right time? Only you can answer that. If it were me, I would probably press charges or call the bank and tell them this check was inappropriately cashed - they shouldn't have cashed it for her in the first place. Yes, this is an error on the part of the bank, but it is an even bigger error for you and your daughter.

Answer 5

I would report her to the bank and tell them the check was encashed fraudulently. My gosh, she is a 27 year old adult!!! It's not like she's 12 and has no idea what 'stealing' is. I know she just had a baby, but her behavior is still inexcusable. At five years old, I knew better than to take my mom's money even if she left it around the house.

I would talk to her and scold her. She has acted like a child and I would tell her that if she needs money, she can pay you back first before lending her money again.

Answer 6

I'd call the police and report a theft.

There is NO excuse for this from a 27 year old.

By doing nothing you are condoning the act and giving implicit permission to continue doing this.

Have her arrested to teach her a lesson - you can always drop.
the charges later.

Also, if this is habitual, you may want to seek custody of the child as the mother is NOT providing a safe and healthy environment.

Answer 7

Press Charges

Answer 8

I think the most important thing to remember is that this is your daughter. Money in the long run doesn't mean much, family does. However, I would calmly confront her and tell her what she is doing is stealing. Tell her you love her and that you care about her and your grandchild's future and you will give her whatever help you can, but she cannot steal from you because that breaks trust

Answer 9

yah u needa find sum more stuff out, id go undercover!! And u could say wheres my check whats up with that?? U should atleast ask me for $ if ur struggling, instead of stealin from me, tell her Uve done what u can with her, and u dont know what u did wrong as a parent for her to treat u like that!! Id cry in front of her, and tell her U cant do it nemore unless theres a change!!

Answer 10

She needs to be reported. She needs to know that she is an adult and she faces adult consequences. If she threatens to take your grandchild from you, let her. Let her know too, that theft is a deviant enough behavior for you to petition for custody. (She will need a track record for you to win, but fight fire with fire!)

My cousin used to do stupid stuff all the time like steal from relatives. She tried the "I won't let you see my kids" route. So my aunt just stopped talking to her. Within 6 months, she had custody of the kids because all of a sudden, my cousin couldn't raise them on her own. All of a sudden, she needed help (that she always got and took for granted). It's been two years now, my cousin has straightened up, gone back to school, and taken control of her kids again. They see Grandma every Sunday for dinner.

Answer 11

Your the parent remember that. You need to make the child responsible for the actions no matter how old they are you never stop being the parent. I know you want to be there for your grandchild and she might resent you for awhile but she eventually learn that there are consequences for her actions. Ultimately though you have to follow your heart not your head. Good luck.