best jokes?

Question

ok post your jokes here
ill judge them
if yours is the best i will make yours the best answer and u win 10 points
yay

Answer 1

A woman is having an affair while her husband is at work. One day her husband comes on early so she hides the guy in her closet. The guy is in the closet when he hears the couples son say "it's awfully hot in here"
"what do you want."
"wanna buy my baseball'
"how much"
"400 dollars" The man gives the boy the money and sneaks out when the husband leaves the room.

A week later the same thing happens. He's hiding in the closet when he hears "it's awfully hot in here."
"Now what do you want."
"wanna buy my baseball glove."
"how much"
"600 dollars" the man gives the kid the money and again sneaks out when the husband lealves the room.

A little while later the father asks if the son wants to play catch. The boy says "I can't dad"
"why not"
"I sold my glove and ball."
"For how much"
"1000 dollars"
"Son that wasn't very nice to ripoff your friends like that. I think you should go to church and go to confessional." the little boy agrees and walk down the street to the church. He opens the door and goes to confession, he says "Its awfully hot in here."
The priest from the other side yells "jesus christ not this again!"

Answer 2

One day a blonde buys two horses but she can't tell them apart so she calls up her friend and says," I got these two horses but I can't tell them apart. What should I do?" Her friend says try tying a ribbon in one of your horses tails." The next day the blonde calls back and says," It didn't work the ribbon came out. What now." So her friend says," Try spray painting one of your horses manes." The blonde calls back the next day and says,"The spray paint washed out." So her friend says,"I am all out of ideas." So the next day the blonde calls back and says,"I just figured out that the white horse is ten inches taller than the black horse!"

Answer 3

Fred and Mary get married but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to mom and dads for the night. Morning, little Johnny gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out to the school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She said, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think? "
Mom replied, "Never mind what you think! go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Is Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think...eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school he comes home and asks, "Is Fred and Mary up yet?"
Mom replied, "No."
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "OK...What do you think?"

He says..."Well, last night Fred came in for the Vaseline and...I think I gave him my model airplane glue."

Answer 4

what's red & silver & crawls into walls?

Answer 5

what do u call a boomerang that don't come back?...a stick