Love isn't worth it because it hurts too much to have a broken heart?

Question

So my ex boyfriend really hurt me bad.....we went out for 4 years and then he ended the relationship because he said that he needed to focus and straighten out his life. My father got involved and was threatening him because he owed me quite a lot of money. My dad pretty much doesn't like him. My ex wanted to work things out with me but now he says that he doesn't think we can ever be together again because of my dad. He recently got a new girlfriend and I am so heart broken. I think that is just an excuse! I mean if you love someone then you would want to be with that person no matter what right? I am just so crushed. I don't know what to do anymore. Help please?

Answer 1

Your have to get the money that he owes you back.

Answer 2

First, that's what I was think, "if you love someone then you would want to be with that person no matter what right?" But in my experience, it never seems to turn out that way. I mean, either we're not finding compatable guys, or every guy is ****** lost.

Second, he did use an excuse on you. I mean, he said he wanted to straighten out his life, aka be single for a while, but he didn't do that apparently. He lied his way out of it. Probably had his eyes on that girl for a while and thats the main reason he ended it with you. My ex actually came up wiht that excuse numerous times to get out of relationships, not just to avoid getting back in one with me (we are friends now after 2 yrs), but w/ the other girls too. And every time, he ends up w/ a new girl in a few months...or more like 6-12 mths later. But all he really wants, is a certain girl that doesnt' want him. But my point from above paragraph, it's like, just b/c he didn't love me enough to not let me go the first time, does it mean he'll never realize I was the best he had and would come back and never let me go? He's just young and more focused on himself, that's about it.

Third, get over your ex. Be single for a couple months and learn to enjoy time to yourself and being with your friends, and when another great guy comes around, take the chance. You'll never find good love unless you take the risk of another heartbreak.

Answer 3

I think that your dad really loves you a lot to get involved.Some wouldn't but he has to know that if that ex owes you money that you are the one who is going to take care of the situation.I think if that ex loved you then using your dad as a reason for not getting back together is an excuse.That shouldn't stop him from wanting to get back together.Yes you would want to be with that person no matter if you love them.So that's crap what he said.Sorry to say this you have to let go and see what happens.If something goes wrong in his new relationship watch him want you back.Dont take him back untill he gives you back your money.If he "claims"he left to focus and straighten out his life then you do the same for yourself.I know your dad was mad at him but don't ever blame him.Remember men come and go but a good dad is for life.I've had men leave in relationships and i have left men but always remember that you can go on.That if it is meant to be he will be back.Oh and make him give you back that money.!!!

Answer 4

Everything in life is supposed to teach a lesson. That sounds so easy. When your heart is broken, you don't wanna hear that. Money is one of the reasons "lovers" break up. I try not to mix it.If I lend money to a loved one----I don't ask for it back, because they wouldn't have asked if they didn't need it------I don't usually get stiffed either. You may still love dude, but the time you are wasting on him is just that---time wasted. You said he has a new girl. Let him prove that he really wants to be with you. Let him make the first move.Keep your father out of your business(if your over 21 and not living in your dad's house). No, if you love someone---you want them to be happy even if that's not with you. You are strong and you can and will get thru this. Think of the lessons you have learned about yourself, your tolerance for others, your relationship with your father, your relationship with yourself. I wish you comfort in your heart. It will take time,but you will feel better.

Answer 5

Love doesn't hurt when things are equal. He didn't love you or he would not have hurt you. Reflect on this relationship and learn from it as a way to understand dating. Learn about things never to do with another boyfriend. Never~~~~I mean never ever give a man you date money~~~~EVER, EVER FOR ANY REASON. This is a first indicator that the relationship isn't right! Men were created to be the hunter or pursuer. Women should never provide for the men or chase them. Men lose interest in easy women and go looking for the hunt! Allow men to woo and pursue you. Men should pay for the dates. This is part of the wooing and pursuing. Women are the nurturers~~the heart of the relationship.

Answer 6

I am so sorry for u , this boy is not worth u i think. how can u betray after 4 yr of a relationship. I think u deserve much better then him, dump him immediately and stop thinking about him. get a new boyfriend and ur ex feel jealous. And do get ur money back from ur ex. i think ur father is right, he recognized ur ex earlier only as he has gone through this age.
Don't misunderstand, i know it is really hard for u to concentrate on any thing else as ur so heart broken, but u have to put ur life togther, get ur butt out of ur bed. go shopping, get new clothes, new hobby, new hair cut, through away all the things that remind u of him, travel if possible
hope u will get over it

Answer 7

Of course you are crushed.
Just try to focus on all that he has put you through over the years. Remember that he is someone else's problem, now.
If he has another girlfriend you can bet he's borrowing money from her, too. That's his focus.
I don't know how much money you loaned him, but forget about getting it back. It's not worth any contact with him.
He can't be with you because he realizes that your Dad sees him for the opportunist that he is. You will too, eventually.
Be grateful that he is out of your life.
You will find someone more deserving of your love and generosity

Answer 8

I say forget about the money and take this as a lesson learned. Your dad will always have your best interest at heart. He see things in your ex that you can't because you're in love with him. Why are you giving him or any man money? And love is worth it. "It better to love and loss than to not love at all". Everything is going to be ok, you may not see it now. But everything heals with time.

Answer 9

yes.. if he loves u, he would be w/ you and STEP UP. he would give u back ur money, and apologize to ur father. isn't that the kind of boyfriend u want, someone who is respectable, who's actions speak loud and show ur father that he respects you and ur family?? =T.. this guy sounds kinda selfish and weak, immature, perhaps even kind of a coward sorry to say. i mean, maybe u guys are young so it's somewhat of an "excuse"..but that only means more so that you need to move on and find a MAN to take care of you. if u can't get ur money back, (besides option of suing, judge judy, etc); let it all go. don't talk to him, don't think of him as ur bf anymore, and forget about the money. u don't need him in ur life anymore..in fact, ur life still goes on, ur a strong person, u've LOVED him and been commited to a guy for 4 YEARS. u are a great person, and deserve someone who Appreciates your love, ur sacrifice, ur commitment!!! even if he loves u still, if he has a new gf he's just using her, he's a jerk. if he doesn't love u and has a new gf, he's a jerk. either way, u are pining away for someone who is NOT GOOD ENOUGH for you. that's just it, plain and simple. don't be sad because you feel like a failure..... be proud that you are the kind of girlfriend anyone would be lucky to have!! i would suggest to occupy urself w/ making urself FEEL like a great person; work on ur looks, ur mind, ur knowledge, hobbies, anything that will make u feel more confident about urself. then u will realize that u are a great catch, and u will wait until u find a great catch as well! set boundaries for waht u want in a relationship and stick to them; be fair, honest, kinda and loving..why would u want anything else?? someone who treats u badly, will disrespect ur father, etc? nope.. u deserve better. realize that, and u will make better decisions in the future. take care of urself, and dont' depend on someone else to make u happy. if u are a Whole, self sufficient person, u will be able to give MORE to ur partner instead of needing them to make u whole. good luck~

Answer 10

His need to focus on himself, sounds like crap. Why couldn't he do that with you in the picture?

If you really love him, let things be. Maybe the new girlfriend is just an excuse to get over losing you, maybe its not.If you're truly meant to be, then you'll find a way back to eachother.

Don't let your world stop revolving just because he's not in it.

and if you really want your money back... take him to court.

Answer 11

ok first you need to take a deep breath and forget about him. he broke up with you but he lost something important someone that really cared about him... right? if you say yes then he is the one who is suppose to be suffering not you. move on girl if you love him then you will be willing to move on and anyway i think he was with you for the money.he is not worth it so get over it there will be someone out there that will except you and will love you with all there heart focus on your studies or carier and the right guy will come to you