Ok when a girl looses her virginity she is normally all emotional and totally in love with her guy. But I have heard that it's very different for a guy. It's like a yeah I lost it ....no attachment. Is this true?
2006-08-01 05:55:33 · 17 answers · asked by browneyegirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One really can't make blanket statements about things like this because whether or not someone feels attachment after having sex for the first time depends on so many factors: 1) how the person views sex--is it sacred or done simply for fun? 2) their level of emotional attachment to the other person 3) their character etc... Depending on these factors, a guy can fall in love with their "first" and a woman can feel no attachment or love to theirs.
Generally speaking, though, men can detach love from sex easier than a woman can. You'll learn in anthropology class that there are biological and evolutionary reasons for this. According to scientists, men have the primal urge to have sex with as many women as they can in order to put as many of their genes out there in the gene pool--therefore, it is beneficial for him to not develop attachments to a single woman. Women, on the other hand, develop attachments because, throughout history, it was necessary to have a man around her all the time in order to protect her children and bring home the bacon. Also, research shows that when a women has an orgasm, a chemical is released inside her that makes her feel as if she is in love--therefore strengthening her attachment to the guy. This doesn't happen for guys.
And, yes, the majority of those who really don't feel much attachment or love for the person who took their virginity are guys. Sociology also plays a part. Most (notice I said most) guys want to be "studs" in the eyes of their peers, so a lot will try to lose their virginity as early as possible with anyone willing and continue having emotionless sex for bragging rights. Girls, in general, compete with each other differently. They tend to place value on how much a guy is "into" them--not how many guys they've slept with. Also, there's that "whore" stigma that girls face that guys don't.
This is an extremely complicated answer for a seemingly simple question, and one could go on for ages. I hope I've given a satisfactory answer for now!
2006-08-01 06:32:12 · answer #1 · answered by marina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of the difference here has to do with expectations going
into it. Guys are told repeatedly that sex is the end-all reason
for living and girls are told that sex is part of the bigger picture
of a family, a life and progression.
Perhaps that is a stereotype, but we live with stereotypes.
Generally, first sex is awkward and does NOT live up to a guy's
expectations, particularly if he has masturbated. And girls,
don't worry about it - you're not going to change that.
With girls, first sex is validation - he loves me. I will be able
to achieve the next level - marriage, children, a mortgage.
Its not clear to me whether or not guys would want to
change this concept of validation - as long as it gets 'em some.
In any case, most guys are detached - but it doesn't mean
that they don't feel anything. It means that they're still
trying to justify what they've been told with what just happened.
There really isn't a lot that a girl can do to help other than to
throw him down on the bed and try to make him realize that
the first thing that is better than first time sex is second time sex.
2006-08-01 06:04:19 · answer #2 · answered by Elana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't agree. I lost mine to a guy I had only met 3 times prior to that night, and had really only talked to him for a total of 5 minutes before that night. That was almost three years ago and I haven't talked to him since. There's no emotional attachment at all, it depends on the person and the circumstance.
2006-08-01 06:39:53 · answer #3 · answered by meggy5181 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not true, actually quite the opposite. When I had sex for the first time it was with someone I had no emotional attachment to and I didn't want a relationship with them afterwards. The guy was the one who was attached and looking for something more.
2006-08-01 06:01:01 · answer #4 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I was not in love with the guy I lost my virginity!! But when I took a guys virginity he was totally in love with me... It all depends on the person.
2006-08-01 06:00:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is like that with everyone not even the girls. Guys have feelings like we do and if they have an emotional bond with someone special then I am sure they get the emotional afterwards as we sometimes do...
2006-08-01 06:00:12 · answer #6 · answered by JACKIE M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my virginity when I was 16, to a 26 yr old girl. We were drunk on Bacardi 151. I did it. Finished, got up and washed myself off and left. No biggie, never talked to the girl again. It wasn't special, I don't hold her in a special place in my heart or anything.
2006-08-01 06:02:24 · answer #7 · answered by KidBao 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. me and my girl where totally cracking jokes about it after we finished. Everyone gets emotional but guys tend to hold back because the girl might think he's gay or something.
2006-08-01 06:00:13 · answer #8 · answered by clove0307 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i lost mine, i wasnt totally in love with him. he wasnt a virgin and we'd been talking about it for a little bit and we were drinking and he just kind of pushed me into it. and thats all he used me for. so of course i'm not going to be all emotional about him if he is going to treat me like crap, even if he was my first. i would have liked it to be someone i loved tho, so i guess from that side of it you could say girls are more emotional about it.
2006-08-01 06:01:46 · answer #9 · answered by ♥love2havefun♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm no longer a guy! yet i think of a purchase would desire to like a female for her character no longer her hair etc. yet blonds, brunettes, and different hair colorations, are on equivalent floor. BLONDS at the instant are not continuously DUMB!
2016-10-01 08:35:56 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋