I need help with my 2 year old daughter, any suggestions?

Question

My 2 year old daughter, who will be 3 in September, has turned into a giant terror! She is a climber, a thrower, she takes food out of the fridge and gets it all over the house she will write on anything and she is a terrible whiner! Nothing works and I am at a lose, I don't know what to do with her we have tried every form of disipline, and I know that I need to watch her consistantly, but hello, I have to use the bathroom sometime! What do I do, HELP?

Answer 1

Take a day, and make her help you box up all her valued possesions.... then you find a way to lock them up. I mean crayons..and everything. put a lock on the fridge...YOU NAME IT LOCK IT!!!! And explain to her as she has her fits, when you behave you can pick one toy , and when you misbehave again, i will take it away again. These are the kids you need to deal with now, wait too long andit is too late. Show her your boss now. I am a mom of a 1.5 and a 2.5 boys and pregnant with boy #3... i am tired, and exhausted...and my boys love to egg each other on. I have lcks on everydoor in the house....almost everyday i have to lock up the toys. I KNOW what a pain in the A$$ it is to do it, seems too tedious, but it does work. Last 2 days it was timeouts in the bedroom w?no toys. and they seem to have started gettig the idea. Kids love to test. And they always will. Everyweek it seems i have to come up with new punishment, cause they dont react to the last one anymore..... but they do smarten up for about a month, then you can expect to go thru it again, in phases. But as long as they grow up knowing your boss, having their respect when they are teens will be easier!
CONSISTANCY is key. Even though i know off hand how hard it is to be consistant, cause i feel beat down by the end of the day!!! but just rememeber, tommorow may be a better day, if ou put the hammer down today. My kids have gone on as long as 2 weeks, before they smartened up...but for the most part i dont have to punish for the smae thng ever again.
as for whining. My youngest tries it everyonce in a while but i do not have the patience for it, so he goes to bed, or i walk away, and NO eye contact. as soon as he notices it hasnet affected me, he stops. The more i tell him to stop the more he whines, but as soon as i dont acknowledge it AT ALL, like he doesnt even exist...it stops and he finds something better to do!

Answer 2

It sounds like she may be angry about something. Are there any new changes in the home (new baby, family problems, new school, move)? If there are, give her lots of extra love and support. She could be going through a growing spurt. Often times children going though a growing spurt will turn into "terrors" for awhile.

Use natural and logical consequence when she is misbehaving. For example, if she throws a toy, put it high so she can see but not reach it. Tell her "When you are ready to play gently with the toy then you can have it back." Give it a day or so before you give it back to her. If she gets food all over the house, have her clean it. If she draws on the wall, she cleans it and her crayons or markers get taken away (do like you did with the toy). You can tell her "When you are ready to only draw on paper, you can have your crayons back." Give her a place to climb. Children need to climb to develop their large motor skills. Tell her "If you want to climb you can climb here." It could be the couch, an outdoor play set, or at the park. Let the discipline you use fit the crime.

Another thing you can do when she is misbehaving it this. When she misbehaves, get down to her level and say "I do not like when you (explain what and why in very few words)." Take her to an area away from you (her room, the couch) and say "When you are ready to (stop, listen, behave...) then you can come out." This is not a time out because you are not giving her a time limit (you controlling her). She returns when she is ready to control herself. You may have to return her to the spot a few times before she get the message.

Set limits and follow through. Let "No" mean it the FIRST time you say it. Offer choices "Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?" Do not offer chances. If you offer chances she will expect another and another. Be patient and consistent. Good luck!

Answer 3

You say you've tried every form of disipline, but if you don't stick to it, the kids know it's meaningless. She's doing this stuff to find out where the boundaries are at home, with the rules, etc. If she makes a mess, make her clean it up as part of the consequence of making a mess, plus time out. DON'T pay any attention to her during a time out either, put her in the chair and walk away. When she gets up, calmly and matter of factly put her back, then walk away. Make her apologise for her bad behavior before she is allowed up. Ignore the whining, she's doing it because she's gotten what she wants that way. Make her ask nicely, or she doesn't get it. Period.

The key to any form is disipline is follow through. IF she knows you're going to weenie out on the follow through, she knows she can get away with the bad behavior. If you tell her "If you write on the walls, you will get a time out for 3 minutes, " and then when she writes on the walls you do everything BUT the time out (that you told her was coming) she knows she's pushed that boundary a little further.

You need to correct this now, because as they get older, the behaviors only get more and more dangerous. Also, expect her as you're doing this to really try and push your buttons, if you all of a sudden start enforcing the rules that you haven't been enforcing, she's going to want to make sure you really mean it, or is it just more of a smokescreen from mom. The only way she can do this is more of the bad behaviors. Stick with it though, and she'll learn (quickly too) that you mean business. Then you'll only have to tell her once (sometimes twice) and she'll know you mean what you say. Raising a child is by far the toughest thing you'll do. Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

First of all you might want to child proof that kitchen so she can't get in to it. We don't even have to use a gate for our toddler we just use a LARGE canvas that crosses the entrance to the kitchen rigged with a latch that my husband made. Seems pretty effective thus far and he is about to turn 2. He also has changed, it seems like over night but not to the extent (yet) that you spoke of with your little one. I guess the best thing to do is find out what she most enjoys whether it be i.e. t.v show, a fav. toy or some special act. you too both share and take it away when she doesn't follow the rules that you have set for her. Make sure she knows that rules too. Sit her down or walk her through the house and let her know what's not acceptable. Put the crayons away if she's writing on the walls and only use them when you can easily monitor her. At least until she is old enough to be responsible with them. Also PRAISE her when you see her doing something right, like using her words or helping out with chores around the house. Hope this helps and goodluck!!

Answer 5

There is something that you guys are doing that are letting her think she can act this way. When you carry out punishment, it should be the same from both parents, and repeated constantly. Start taking things away from her if she keeps this up and do not give anything back to her until she shows good behavior and slowly start giving back her favorite things.

I have 2 sons 6 and 3 and they have never acted this way, cause I always let them know that any kind of behavior like that is wrong, and I am the parent and they are the child.

I dont know what it is, but you guys are messing up somewhere with her that you cant see. You are letting her run the house like she was the parent, somehow, you got her to be that way.

Answer 6

My daughter, now 7, was the same way when she was three. If I turned my back for a second she was into something she wasn't supposed to have. I gave her more interesting things to do, such as a water and sand tray and more interaction with me...(and bought her a leash!) She was just a curious child and needed extra stimulation. As for the whining, that is something that is learned to provoke attention from the parents. You need to ignore this behavior before it gets worse. When she whines for something, ignore her until she stops. Do not give her what ever she was whining for. Eventually she will learn that whining is not an effective behavior for getting what she wants.

Answer 7

TIME OUT.

Do you spank? I never spanked my son and loked down on parents that did. My husband one day spanked him and I was in shock. We fought for days but after that my son listened....to his dad, only. About a year passed before I finally spanked him and man did it make a worl dof difference!

I know there are lots of people who strongly dis-agree, I was one of them. But we don't need to spank. He realizes what is bad and know that it is now an option for discipline and boy does he think twice before breaking a rule twice. He gets timeout the first and when he gets out...he gets the old"if you do it again, it's a spankin."

Answer 8

When you find the answer let me know I have one that just turned 4 and is the same way. And time out, and spankings do not seem to help. Let me know if you find something that works
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Answer 9

let me know when you find out b/c i have a similar problem. Talk to a doctor, maybe she has a disorder that can be fixed with therapy or meds.

Answer 10

she s going through terrible twos just wait patiently and it may change and ask your doctor