How to get natural and permanent confidence?

Question

I do drama at school. It was our last dramsa lesson of the year and we were playing a "fun" game. When the teacher picked your number you had to go up on stage, pick up this stick and pretend it was a certain object and the other person would follow along. To my horror, my number was picked. I reluctantly went on stage and picked up the stick. I had abbsolutely NO idea as to what to do. I just stood there and completly frooze for about three minutes and then I started to pick up my act and after about five minutes of crappy acting, someones number got picked and I got to sit down. The girl I acted with was really nice and tried to help my as much as she could. I just never ever want that to happen again. I wasn't poorly prepared or anything but it's just that I just lack so much confidents in what I do. How do I gainn natural confidence and keep it. I also suffer from peer pressure when it comes to clothes and stuff. Getting permanent confidence will help me with peer pressure as well.

My old drama teacher has now left so maybe next year I can get a fresh start. The teacher I had was very intimidating. Do you think a new teacher will help a lot or do you think I just need to believe in myself?

Answer 1

I have no training in performing arts, drama or such, but I can share with you something I discovered when I was in college, it happened quite by accident. Every time I feel that I'm losing confidence I do this and everything comes into perspective, I swear-it works every time.

This is what I do: Find a place where you can lie on the grass, lie down with your arms and legs out, and feel the grass beneath you. Look up at the sky, at what lies beyond the clouds, and picture yourself just lying there, a tiny dot on this earth. Think how amazing it is that you are where you are. Feel your hair on the grass, the wind in your face, just feel aware of everthing around you. Stay like that for awhile, really take the time to enjoy that small moment, try and take in as much of this as possible. Think about what it is that you are not feeling confident about, like what happened at drama school, and compare it to what you are feeling now, lying there literally connected to the world, and let the incident fall into perspective.

I hope this helps, it works for me.

Answer 2

Hi Flower!
The to my horror said it all it's how you look at the situation it should be fun not a horror you must like acting or you wouldn't be in the class so the thing to do is to work on state is there a time that you felt totally confident that you were doing a good job? remember how that feels and how you were standing ( probably back straight with more confidence) how did you sound probably very straight forward and like you were in control now think of the way you acted what would happen if you went up there to have fun full of confidence back straight and talking with power and energy believe me you have it in you. I can't wait to get onstage and have been onstage almost everyday for the last 10 years in some show or the other it never gets old and i go on knowing that I am going to have a great time and so is everyone else.

Answer 3

Confidence, that is a hard one to grasp. I think the whole thing to do with the stick was just because you had a bit of stage fright. I don't think that the teacher helped, all our drama teachers at my school go by the policy that if you don't wanna do it, then you aren't forced to, which is good.
I am a really outgoing person, but most of my friends tend to be really shy in front of other people, when my friend got her report it kept saying "lack of confidence" etc. the teachers don't really help.
If you believe that therapy works then you can get therapy to boost your confidence IF you believe, but it costs a lot of money.
The best way is just to enjoy the moment and its a great feeling once you've done something.
I always run for things, I ran for MYP and when I did my speech in front of a BIG hall of loads of silent teenagers I had made a mistake in my speech when I wrote it out and because I tend not to really involve myself when I read I read it and it was wrong, so I read it again thinking I read it wrong and got completely shaken up, I was SO embarrased.
But i guess all you can really do hun is look past it and try again. If it is peer pressure wise then don't let people get you down, sometimes it is hard to believe in yourself, but it is possible, have fun, love yourself and BE yourself.

Good luck hun and I hope the drama lessons get better ;-)

Answer 4

if Acting is your passion ..you just jump in it girl ....it begins with improvisation .
..are you really into it ? if you are
then do not let anyone come in between ...
now ,you talk of confidence ..
who has the luxury for confidence or even the time to build it ?
itis unrealistic ..everyone that is a performer
can tell you so .
none is ever confident enough when it comes to a stage ....even the greates have unsecurity pangs or anxiety ..
it is only the love of it that gives you courage . Do you love and have great passion for it or have you chosen this path because you think you could be good ,maybe, at it
if you love it ..totally, intensely, with the whole of your being , then go for it , if not
seek other options .
I can only add . drop the seriousness ,
or self stiffness I see the name you have chosen on this profile ..your intentions are good but how come you can't even improvise with a stick ? what did block you ? drop the self image acting is not about one fixed image ... acting is a selfless act ... it is a high Art form ..is it your call ? then jump into the fire or go to another school ... best of luck

Answer 5

It sounds as if you have not had a proper relationship with your parents. It could well be that you never got praise when you deserved it and after a continual period of this it has reduced your confidence. You need to change your outlet as you are the only one that can help yourself. You must think positive and remember that you are as good and as equal if not better than anyone else. When you are looking at clothes for yourself remember the clothes are for your taste and nobody else regardless of who they are so don't worry about what others say or look over your shoulder at what you are thinking about buying. What you wear is a reflection of your personality so let it come out and you will automatically gain confidence. Letting others influence you judgement restricts your personality and holds back your confidence. An olympic champion becomes a champion because he or she believes in themselves. Start today and believe in yourself and let yourself shine through to build your confidence. Good luck

Answer 6

I believe that confidence comes from within and no one else can give you it, they can help you with it and boost it but you need to beleive in and like yourself before you can expect anyone else to do the same. What is it deep down that makes you think your opinion, the way you dress etc isnt good enough? I figured out after doing a counselling course that my lack of self esteem which i suffered from was because i didnt think i was worth knowing, why would anyone want to speak to me? I now know that i am as good as the next person and so are you.Try and get involved in more activities so you can meet new people, having plenty of genuine friends around you will do wonders for your self esteem. Just believe in yourself xx

Answer 7

You have my sympathy, I have been in this type of situation, I know how awful it can be. I think perhaps you froze because of all the people looking at you, it made you self-conscious.

If I could make a suggestion, next time why not just ignore the people watching, and focus on the activity or task instead? Turn your back to the audience if you have to ... the new teacher might have some other good ideas as to how to deal with this.

In a nutshell, focus on what you are doing, not on who is watching. And the best of luck!

Answer 8

You need to skip looking for confidence, and work on freeing your imagination! Let your imagination take over, because confidence cares what others think. Imaginiation is free flowing without constraints.

As far as clothes and peer pressure, try and realize the absurity of caring what small minded judgemental people think! Your true friends don't care. None of the insecure, finger pointers will be in your life long run. They will have to get a clue how to get real friends, while you will already have them.

Answer 9

Experience. Every actor has horror stories to tell about what they did wrong when they were just starting out. As you practice more and learn more and have more experiences to draw on you'll get better. A lot of the really great actors have had to deal with stage fright their entire lives but they channel it into creative energy. Don't give up.

Answer 10

Its not about a new teacher, confidence is only gained when YOU train your mind to believe the things that should be... like for instance you're beautiful. I suggest you buy a self help book, it doesn't mean your sad... Try Paul McKenna's books.. Just go to your local library or book store and check em out. What have u got to lose?