Is it healthy to talk about your past relationships with your current partner?

Answer 1

Yes. It helps them understand you.

Answer 2

Don't tell every detail - spare the sensitive ones, like how many times you had sex. We don't need to hear that from our partners. Be especially careful if this past relationship is still wandering around the present - we don't need to hear how good or bad she was in bed if you see her at the bowling alley every weekend.

But it is best to be honest about such manners. Your spouse may be hurt if he or she hears it from someone else. Plus, it helps us understand a part of how our partner will respond or feel about current issues in relationships. And.. it's a part of who you are today. Share what you feel necessary.


EDIT: Never bring up your ex in a fight. That can hurt and cause insecurity, even if you mean it for good (i.e. "I don't want to make the same mistake" is a mistake) The current partner is not the old partner, don't give the impression you treat them the same.

Answer 3

Yes, because both of you should have an acceptance of each others' past relationships. And that way, you can learn from old mistakes. Your current partner should accept that he/she is not your first and you have to reassure him / her that he/she is the only one in your life right now.

However, if your partner starts talking about the ex, way too often (you can't carry a conversation without the name popping up), then I think its time to check if your partner really is over his/her ex. But remember, don't be paranoid and jump to conclusions, its best to talk it over with each other first.

Answer 4

Its not good to talk about your past relationship with current partner, because you may send the wrong signals..like, your current partner may think you still have feelings. but in the same sense you have to let go of your past and start over again...

Answer 5

Your past relationships are part of what makes you who you are today, and that happens to be someone your current partner likes (hopefully)...however I wouldn't discuss in depth, give a play-by-play, or gripe about how your ex did you wrong, yada yada yada...

Mentioning an event or experience which occured when you were with someone else, is fine...but I wouldn't hash out a past relationship with a present partner...not a good idea...

Answer 6

Thats the worst thing that can happen in a relationship - dont talk about the past relationships with your current guy. What happened in the past, happened and thats it. Leave in in the past and the way it was. Focus on what is now - that's most important.

Answer 7

yes it is. the more that your partner learns of your past relationships the more they can try to not make the same mistakes. and as long as you do not obsess about your former b/f or g/f. if you do then there are some unresolved issues that need to be addressed before your current relationship can progress.

Answer 8

It depends. If you are making comparisons or whining about stuff you haven't let go of, probably not. But, talking about our past helps our partners to understand us. That's very important in a relationship.

Answer 9

I dont think its UNhealthy, but I'd limit the details and leave out any passionate emotions. Enough to say, yes we were in love, but now were not.
I think you kinda should discuss major relationships, like a long-term partner or possible marriage.

Answer 10

as long as it's not a comparison thing...like every time you are talking on a subject and it goes into "well my ex...."

now and then ..yeah..things do come out like when telling funny stories about your past and things that happened...
there's always going to be an ex in there somewhere...but that's the past...and today is You.

Answer 11

No, absolutely not. It's the one golden rule of relationships - never talk about your past boyfriends and girlsfriends (at least don't release specific details).