My best friend needs help, and I need help getting her help!?

Question

I know my best friend has a cocaine problem. I DO NOT like the fact that she does it. She is in complete denial. She thinks I don't know when she's on it, unless she actually admits it once and a while. (I'm not stupid, I can always tell when she's coked up.) Unfortunately she is a habitual liar to her husband and family. However I know there is no other person in this world that she trusts other than myself (Believe me, I know things no one else would or could ever know, we are like sisters) She has 2 small children at home and an unsupportive husband who knows about the addiction but is going about "trying to help her" the wrong way. I'm worried that she's gotten to far into the stuff. I want her to get help but I don't know how to get her help. What can you do when a person is over the age of 18 and you can't force them to rehab? She won't go willingly because she doesn't think she has a problem. She cries wolf a lot about suicide, but I'm really scared this time! Please Help!!!!!

SERIOUS ANSWERS PEOPLE!
She's my best friend and has been for a while so its my duty to help her if no one else will!

Answer 1

I have friend like this and I thought it was a brick wall.Than I tried something and it actually worked.I first did ALL the research for her.Rehab information , actually calling them about room in their facility , if she has insurance , do they take it , location , amount of time needed and so on.Than present it to her husband .Let him know its obvious he loves her and is trying to help but since BOTH of you are not figuring something out that will help her NOW , both of you should try this .
Than both of you should do the intervention.Tell her if she cannot commit now , you cannot stand by and watch her kill herself and you need to leave the friendship.But that you love her so much. Together,let her know her children need her and you know she wants to be a good , healthy mom.
Sometimes leg work is what will detour the addict .They really cannot handle simple things in that state(although they think they can)
Do it for her .Make it as easy as possible were really all she has to do is walk in and sign.
If that does not work , than I'm sorry to say you need to wait until she wants help.

Answer 2

I suggest calling a drug councilor and having an intervention. Do her parents know about it? If not, and you truely care for her ( and if she is really going down the drain and not just a social user, especially if she is crying out for help (by saying anything about suicide)) then you must go to her family. They don't want to hear that she has a drug problem, but it would be worse coming from a strange profesional, like police or mortician. If you are unable to find the right councilor, or want a less evasive way to start, attend your local Narcotics Anonymous meeting and ask one of those people how to be helpful.

Also understand that addiction is so strong that even if it makes you miserable, you don't want to stop. Addiction is life long disease that you inflict upon yourself before you even realize it. And once an addict, always an addict, using currently or not. Most of all don't tell her she needs to stop, tell her that you are worried about her mental and physical health. She already knows you want her to quit, don't compound it by getting her thinking no one tells me what to do. Also don't give up on her, cuz that's not what she needs at all.

Answer 3

Like you said, it's going to be hard to get her help without her wanting it for herself. I know a similar situation where my friend's other friend was doing a lot of drugs and wouldn't admit it. My friend told her she knew what was going on and wouldn't be her friend until she was clean. This seemed to work since most of her other friends did the same.

Unfortunately, there are children involved. If it's affecting the children, then you need to take serious action. The husband needs to take those kids away from her.

There are some rehabs that will admit her against her own will, pending her husband's signature. He has to force her to go. The only problem is most of these places will let them sign themselves out as well.

I would visit websites and find out about interventions as well. Go to yahoo or google and search "drug addicts anonymous". It will bring up a lot of helpful websites, and most offer information for someone who is trying to help a loved one that is an addict.

I hope everything works out for the best.

Answer 4

Well cocaine is the top priority in her life not her children or her husband or your friendship unfortunately....you cant force her to go to rehab...but you can report her to social services and the police if you know she's high and has the children with her even in her own home....it sounds like the only thing that may make her see what everyone else knows is to have her children taken from her even temporarily...I know it sounds harsh but its for her good and her childrens safety....especially if the children are 2-3 yrs old per say...in one of her cocaine stupors she could leave the stuff out and one of the kids could ingest it....if they were to ingest enough of it..and it doesnt take much in a toddler...they could possibly die..then she's definitely be in jail on murder or manslaughter charges....you need to make that very difficult call....it may mean the end to your friendship but by doing it you will be protecting 2 young children and possibly saving her life....

Answer 5

Touchy situation.

First of all, my brother reached very low points of addiction.
And a very close friend of mine lost her mother after her brother tried drugs and became the person who killed her mother. Yeap. Sad, but true.

Sometimes things happen. That's what you should know first. If for any reason things turn ugly and what you wish for your friend doesn't come to fruition, accept it's not your fault, and deal with the fact that while you could have helped, it would have been only that: help. The person holding the decision to walk down the wrong path is your friend, and your friend alone. You're simply there for the much-needed support necessary to make such a lonely road into recovery a little less bumpy.

Remember that. It's crucial.

As far as the problem itself, can't really help you there. But there must be community-outreach programs in your city. Don't be afraid to talk to a cop about how to help. It's not about giving your friend away. It's about getting resources. Of course, don't mention anything about the kids. You don't want your friend loosing them when she may still have the chance to turn her life around.

Good luck.

Answer 6

If she's an adult there's nothing you can do. If I were you I'd try as hard as I could to seperate myself from the situation. Your friend is selfish and weak. Personally I don't care to be with selfish and weak people despite the fact that they may have been a good friend at one time. People change. It's not good for you to worry like this. It's time for you to do what's best for you first.

If you really wanted to be drastic you could call the police when you know she has some on her. As far as I know that's an immediate felony. Maybe that's the kick she needs.

One thing I know about enablers is that they're the sweetest people in the world. They're also easy to take advantage of. Stay sweet but stop being an enabler. You're only making it worse.

Answer 7

As painful as it is, the first thing you need to do is call CPS so that they can investigate the home. Losing the kids may be the kick in the pants she needs to get off of cocaine - either way, you can't take the chance that something might happen to the children - or to their mom for the children to witness.

If you're not crazy about that route, an intervention should be arranged for sure. If her husband won't support you, contact her family members who will. She needs help and she needs it now or you need to make the most of the time you have now because she won't be around long.

Answer 8

ummm this is a tough one. I think (but dont take my advice, im 15) that you should just sit her down and talk with her, tell her that you really do care about her and that she should get to rehab or honestly try to stop, even if she uses it less and less. like say she does it 5 times a week, get her to do it 4 then 3 then 2 then 1 then none. its going to take some time but its like getting a baby off of the nipple then off of the bottle and eventually to a cup. it takes time and encouragement. tell her to think of all the money she would save. also be with her more often so that she doesnt have the chance to do it. people do drugs and things when they have nothing else to do (in my opinion). If you are serious about helping her out of it then you need to really show her that so she understands that shes not a lost cause. I hope I helped!

Answer 9

Try getting all the info you can on nearby clinics that can help her. Get printed material on the warning signs, what cocaine does to the body and health and lives of the users etc. Show it to her and her husband. Tell her she must come clean and get help or her life will go down the drain. Stage an intervention if you have to! Get her husband motivated by getting him to talk to a professional about his wife's problem, is he hooked too?? She can turn her life around if she wants to, especially for the kids sakes she should want to do all she can to give them a normal life. Good Luck.

Answer 10

If she talks about suicide, take it seriously. They often mean it. In addition, it is the reason you can help her. If someone is suicidal, they can be INVOLUNTARILY committed to a mental health facility, which her health insurance will probably pay for. Once she is admitted, they will treat her addiction, as well as her depression, which is probably chemically induced.

You can call 911, and they will send the paramedics to take her to a hospital. Good luck. It would be nice to have her husband's co-operation and consent, but not mandatory.