Okay. Here it goes. If it jumbles and is a little confusing I apologize. Ok. So the past two weeks have been really amazing and I wouldn't trade them for anything, or anyone. I told myself that after my last relationship I wasn't going to go searching for my next boyfriend I would let fate take its course. Well, in a way someone has found me, but has made it pretty clear that they don't want a girlfriend (at least for the time being). But I've been getting mixed signals I guess you could call them. This past weekend, an ex called me and I was really surprised when he said he missed me and wants to see what happens. And that if I wasn't involved with this said person then he would give me what I wanted (a commited relationship). So I've been thinking about it and Im beginning to wonder. Does the said person I've been "seeing" for the past two weeks want to be with me because of me or because of what he can get out of me? The same sort of goes for my ex. Does he want to be with me because he genually misses me and wants me back in his life or is it because he feels no one else will take him? Plus, even though I want a commited relationship, I'm going to college in 29 days. So many people that I'm going to meet. I want to see what happens with said person but at the same time I want something that he's not willing to give me. What should I do? Should I stay with said person and see where it leads me or should I go down a road I've been down once before, taking a chance that it'll be different this time. What would you do if you were me?
2006-08-01 04:19:55 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If I were you, the first thing I'd do is sit down and make a list of good things and bad things about these two people. Does the good outweigh the bad? But most importantly - what does your gut tell you? You didn't say how your relationship with your former boyfriend ended - was it messy? Did you fight all the time?
What is your current relationship like? Do you feel you have a future with this person? You are the only person who can answer these questions, and I can't really tell you what to do based on limited information, but which one of these guys do you feel good to be around and look forward to being with? Again, it's your feeling that matter and not the opinion of others. You say you want a committed relationship, but you are going away to college - is either of these guys willing to wait for you and only see you on a limited basis? How do they treat you when you are with them? All I can tell you is to take your time to make up your mind, there's no hurry when you are choosing a potential mate. What counts is how each person makes you feel, if they genuinely care about your well being and treat you with respect.
2006-08-01 04:31:07 · answer #1 · answered by Mother Bear 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't take either path. The ex had the chance to give you what you wanted when you went out with him. He obviously didn't. Now that someone else is in the picture all of a sudden he wants to come back. He's just wanting what he cant have. Going back with him will probably get you worse than you got from him before. The new guy has only been around for 2 weeks and has already told you he doesn't want a gf. In guys terms that means I'm just not that into you. I'll keep you on the side for when I have nothing else to do. I would go with choice #3 which is starting college in 29 days and being thankful that your single. You will meet so many people and have so much fun. Dont give that up for these 2 losers.
2006-08-01 04:28:20 · answer #2 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I think that College should be your main priority! I applaud you for going to college and trying to make something of your life, Good for you!
If your boyfriend did not want a commitment before, what made him change his mind? If he didn't want it before, he probably doesn't really want it now either! It could be, the thing, if I can't have her neither can anyone else?
Also, like you said you are going to college and going to meeting so many people and what is the point in getting serious with said person if you are not going to around too much longer?
Also, I know this may sound corny or stupid, but I think when you find the right one for you, then you will know!
It could be a sign, or a feeling or it could be something deep in your heart, but you will know!
My best advice to you right now, would be to focus on college and let nature take it's course so to speak with your boyfriend, man situation! I hope this helps, if you ever want to talk let me know!
I hope you have a great time in college and Good Luck! God bless, Tanya
2006-08-01 04:33:10 · answer #3 · answered by iLoveDawnDawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok you said you were going to be goin' to college in 29 days....you are right there will be so many new people to meet and if i were you i would just be single and go to college and have a good time meeting new guys......it sounds like your ex might just want some "under the sheets" time and the said person isn't iterested in the commitment of a relationship or the time it takes...he may be a great and fun guy but it sounds like he is trying to woo you with good times to work his way into your bed....now if that is what you want the go for the said guy and if not stay single go to school have fun being free...meet all the guys you can and remember this ( " You can learn so much about a person by being their friend and reading thier body language. and you can learn more about someone by be quiet and listing" ) well good luck!
2006-08-01 04:30:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first, people don't change in two weeks. Don't give the ex a chance unless he is still calling you in six months. Second, why not keep hanging out with said person. What can it hurt, worst case, you will like him but he won't want a relationship. Ok so then you go to college and find like 15 hot guys who do want a relationship with you. You are still young- enjoy the freedom while you have it. Have a couple of relationships. Try not to get too close and keep your guard up--people don't relate men to dogs for no reason, they love whoever gives them the best food! Good luck.
2006-08-01 04:27:51 · answer #5 · answered by Julie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey getting back together isn't worth it most often times in a situation like that both individuals change so much that things will never be the same or better really. I believe also that maybe the other guy wants a relationship now for whatever reasons is too fast, take your time and by the fall maybe you two could become serious. This way you have enough time to really fill this new boyfriend out and in the mean time you have no obligations so you could date other guys as well! Use your noodle!
2006-08-01 04:27:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all remember that your ex is an ex for a reason. Also, the new guy clearly said he didn't want a girlfriend. That being said, tell the new guy what the ex said and see if that changes anything. Also, if I were you I won't get too attached because as you said, you're going off to college. Many more friends, etc. to meet. Enjoy and good luck.
2006-08-01 04:25:34 · answer #7 · answered by DMBthatsme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should avoid doing anything committed with either one. You are about to go to college. There is so much that lies ahead of you, and you will be best off unattached. What if you get to college and meet an amazing guy right off the bat and here you are committed to someone else. You are young - keep your options open. You are too young to be committed to anyone right now.
2006-08-01 04:29:20 · answer #8 · answered by angelicsanto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget them both. Tell them you just want to be friends with them, and at this moment in your life since things are going to be changing so much, You just want a friendship. If they truly like you for you and not for "what you give them" then they will accept that. Life is all about change. Go off to college, have fun, graduate and once you are who you are going to be in life, fate will drop that little hint of a relationship your way. Good luck.
2006-08-01 04:25:05 · answer #9 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, and I was about to go away for several months, I wouldn't get involved with anyone non-local to where I was going to be...long distance relationships are chancey at best, but even moreso when they involve younger people who are less settled and less apt to exercise self-control when it comes to staying faithful to their far-off partner. I don't want a phone/email relationship, or to wonder if he's out with some other chick because I'm not there...nor is it really fair to expect someone to 'wait for you', especially when they are just discovering who they are as adults and what Life is all about...
My 2 ¢
2006-08-01 04:27:30 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋