Does anyone know any good blonde jokes or just plain riddles?

Question

Please make them clean.

Answer 1

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor".
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

Answer 2

BLONDE JOKES

Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an "F" in sex.

Q: What does a blonde do after she finishes sucking cock?
A: Spits out the feathers.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been using the computer?
A: There is white out on the screen.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has just done cybersex?
A: There’s lipstick on the screen and the joystick is wet.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool?
A: Air Pockets

Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell BWM.

Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth?
A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?

A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Answer 3

Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's butt?
A: A brain tumor!

Q: How can you tell that a blonde woman has a blond boyfriend?
A: There are bruises around her navel!

There was once a blonde woman sitting in her backyard with her blond boyfriend. Suddenly, a bird flies over and craps on the guy's head. The boyfriend says,"Quick! Get me a tissue now!" The girlfriend asks why and then the boyfriend says, "Well, the bird's bound to be about a mile from here by now!"

Answer 4

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel

Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.

Q:Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blonde.

Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg while raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: Why did the blonde nurse bring a red marker to work?
A: In case she had to draw blood.

Answer 5

1.
This word has 10 letters namely
1234567890

1234 - carries heredity
456 - is a period of time
567 - is a pest and
890 - is a charged particle
What is the word?

2.
I live above a star, and yet I never burn,
I have eleven neighbors, and yet none of them turn,
I am visited in sequence, first, last or in between,
PRS (& sometimes Q) are my initials,
Now, tell me what I mean


answer:
1. generation
2. The ''7'' on the telephone keypad

Hope u'll like the riddles.

Answer 6

BLONDE POLICE TRAINEES
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile.
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the
picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds"...think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm...the suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really
doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer...wait here for a few
minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?
"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses
because he only has one eye and one ear."

Answer 7

This Blind man went into a bar, sat at the counter, after ordering his drink he asked the bar, "hay, do ya want to hear a blonde joke?" The man standing next to him says, " uh, before you tell that joke, you should know that I'm a 6ft body builder, the guy on your left - a 6ft2 body builder, this guy over here to my right is a wrestler, the bar tender and all of us are 'Blonde'. Now, do you still want to tell that joke mister?
There's a pause, then the man answers, "Nah, not if I'm going to have explain it four times.

HAHAHA, HaHaHaHa, Hehehe!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

a man needs a few days of from work, but theres a problem, he has no leave days or sick days left, so he comes up with a plan- he'l act crazy.
so he goes back into the office and hangs upside down from the fan. his co-worker whos a blonde asks him what his doing and he says that he is acting like a light bulb so that their boss will think that his crazy and send him of for a few days. just then the boss walks in and asks him what he thinks he is doing, to which he replys that he is a ligth bulb. the boss thnks he is crazy and tells him to go home for a few days. as the man walks out the blonde follows him. the boss shouts at her "where are you going?"
to which she replys "how do you expect me to work without light??!!"

Answer 9

This is my favorite blonde joke and one you probably have heard before but read along anyway okay?
A very beautiful blonde woman went into the beauty salon to get her hair styled
She had a walkman 's headphones over her ears and the cord was all tangled into the woman's hair.
the beautician started to brush out the tangles in the woman's hair and could not get past the cord and the headphones. She picked up on the headphones off the womans ear and said "we need to remove these headphones until i am done with your hair"
The blonde lady became very agitated and started to cry" I can't take them off or I will die"
The beautician smiled and said "it won't hurt to take them off for a few minutes surely"
The blonde woman said "no, my husband gave this to me and said what ever I do not to take it off or I would die"
The beautician said there is no way that ifyou take those off for the amount of time it will take to do your hair that you will die"
the blonde stood there for a long moment thinking and finally said" okay I believe you, take them off"
The beautician unwound the cord and then removed the earphones
the blonde promptly keeled over dead
the beautician screamed and said " what happened"
The other ladies in the shop said listen to what is playing on her headphones.
The beautican picked them up and put them to her own ears and then fainted dead away
the ladies could hear coming from the headphones these words
"breathe in,,,,,,,,,, breathe out..........breathe in........breathe out........"

Answer 10

The blond hooker was so dumb she applied for a job in a warehouse. Later she and another blond went to Europe in hopes of seeing the Grand Prix.