Parents- What do you think about allowing teens to try alcohol at home?

Question

I hear people say they'd rather have them try it at home and that it would be safer. I agree it would be safer but I am torn. I'm having a real moral dilemma here. Help! (btw these are my bf's children and he thinks it's ok but I'm not so sure it's a good idea. They are only 8 and 10 now but I'd like more pros and cons about this issue.)

I said TEENS! I want to be sure on this issue before they get to that age people!!

Ok apparently most of you don't understand that they haven't tried any alcohol. This is something that came up that we disagreed on and I wanted input about letting them try it when they got to be teens.. that's all.. sheesh ppl get off your soapboxes and try a little reading comprehension.

Answer 1

First assess what the children see. If you drink wine at dinner, drink beer in front of the televion, and similar- then the children have been raised to acknowledge these activities are associated with alcohol consumption. Then ask yourself- are you comfortable in this situation. (most people are)

Then, are there similar situations that are repetative- over consumption on New Years' and the 4th of July. Overconsumption when feeling angry or depressed? These will also be a learned behavior to children. Most parents do not want this to be associated with maturity.

If you moderately drink at a certain celebration, then a small 1 oz. serving might make the child feel like they participated in a 'rite of passage' that your spouse/bf wants them to be a part of.

If more consumption or another unappealing situation is being requested of you, then you really should consider the first two scenarios. Children are very impressionable at the ages of 8 & 10. AND you do not want to do silly substitutions like near-beer and the like. If you wish to change to non-alcohol sparkling wine then do it as a whole family.

Children will respect healthy perimeters like; you have wine they have a substitute, but it will be impressioned to them that this is a rewarded behavior or acceptable behavior for them to pass along to their children.

Alcholoism can be an inherited trait. This should be considered also.

You must be comfortable with your choices. Memories should be happy ones with no regrets.

Answer 2

I have had sips of alcohol for as long as I can remember as young children my brother and I would beg for a sip of our parents beers and we didn't like it. In my family as long as we were at home and not leaving the drinking age was 16. This served my brother and I well. alcohol was never a forbidden thing in my house by the time we hit the experimental rebellious age. We didn't see the point of sneaking out and getting drunk and possibly into trouble (it would have been worse for us because we knew we weren't to drink without adult supervision) or hurt. Why bother we could go home and drink it also removed a lot of the danger element and lets face it kids do things there parents don't want them to do and the less resistance you show to a situation the less likely they are to want to do it.

As a result of all this I can count how many times I have been truly drunk not just buzzed on one hand(3) and I have never driven drunk and I don't even drink that much now (I'm 25) a beer or 2 every other week or so. I was at was at home the first two times and oh boy did I get in trouble the third was my 21 birthday.

I hope this helps I plan to do the same with my son. This was also the way my mother was raised and so far it has worked well for my family.

Answer 3

At the ages of 8 and 10 there are no pros and cons on this issue. I think at that age trying it on any level should be reported to child services! Sorry I can't help when I read this i was thinking 17-18 years old but even then it's a bad idea. 8-10 that's crazy sounds like you need to get out while you can!

Answer 4

I personally don't think it's okay. I never understood parents who say that. I would rather have them drink at home then elsewhere, or have sex at home then elsewhere...etc...I think it's making it too easy for kids! I can tell you if my mom and dad had given me that option when I was a teenager, I would have thought they were a pushover!
My son, who is in his early teens, has been told that it's not ok to drink, it's not ok to have sex, and it's not ok to do drugs. However, we told him if he ever finds himself drunk or with someone that is drunk, pick up the phone and call us and we'll come and get him. I would rather he do that then to die in an accident.
But I just think if we teach our kids not to these things, and we are active in their lives...Where they going, when will they be back, who will they be with....confirm with other parents what is going on, then we can reduce a lot of tragic things that happen to our children, and also make them feel how important they are to us.
People say that you have to let your kids grow and make mistakes, and that you can't always be on top of them watching everything they do and be strict all the time. Well, I agree they need to grow into their own person, but there is a saying that goes "I would rather be safe then Sorry" and that's the I feel everyday raising these kids! I would rather the world look at me as being overprotective, then me worrying about what anyone else thinks, and not being protective enough.
I love the relationship I have with my kids. I'm a young mom and there is a lot that I can relate to with them, but I'm not trying to be their friend. They have plenty of friends, they need my husband and I to teach them right from wrong, and the consequences for choosing the wrong! We still have fun with them, and laugh and play, it's not like we're running a boot-camp out of our home, but there are rules that have to be kept. So far, I think we're doing a great job.

Answer 5

8 & 10 are a little young. But, if you're a good parent -- meaning you have some authority with your kids and they respect you -- and your kids are a little older then it is probably better they get a little exposure to alcohol at home. They're going to be exposed to it anyway, might as well be there to take the edge and fascination off the first experience.

However, if your idea of exposing them to alcohol is packing the old lady up for a weekend get away and keeping the liquor cabinet unlocked while the kiddies are home alone, then no, you do not qualify as someone who should consider this home exposure. In fact, better the kids learn about alcohol from their friends then from you.

Answer 6

Why not give them booze and some smokes, hire a couple of hookers and let them try that while they are at it. Oh, and don't forget the weed and maybe some crack, (They might like that:-) Then let them have a go at driving while drunk, maybe hit a pedestrian or something, you never know what kids might enjoy, and hey its the parents job to let them try everything they want right! They MIGHT try all these things on their own or they might not, it all depends on the examples you set and how well you live the moral guidelines that they are being told to abide by. Giving kids anything that can cause them harm is at best irresponsible and at worst criminal. Don't Do it.

Answer 7

If it is your boyfriend's children, you have no say in what they do. 8 and 10 is very young. I think if he waits a couple more years to let them try alcohol then it will be better. They might find out from an early age they don't like alcohol. But just remember, you can be arrested for giving alcohol or buying it for a minor!

Answer 8

Actually, I heard a study somewhere that said that kids whos parents let them try alcohol at home are less likely to become alcoholics. I believe this to be true, because my mom let all four of her kids, and we aren't drunks (except my 1 brother who drinks frequently, but is not a drunk). Not to mention my friend and her 2 siblings were allowed to try it too at home, and they are far from drunks. I think that this has to do with the fact that teens are naturally rebellious and if you let them try something how can they rebel. Reverse Psychology always works with the young.

Answer 9

I do believe that is better to do it at home BUT not that that young of a age!!! But i would say that the pros of it would that if you give them so hard stuff that they will be turned off of alcohol forever..but the cons would be that they would like it and start to steal it from you or b/f... or they could have something seriously go wrong their livers are not developed enough to handle things like that....try showing them some pictures of people with corroded livers from drinking

Answer 10

Oh they are way to young to be having alcohol and he can get into a world of trouble if he did give them some. That is child endangerment.

I say 16 or a little older is fine with adult supervision only and nothing heavy, maybe wine coolers since they do not contain a lot of alcohol...but at that age is just too young, their bodies cannot handle it.