How does one make a sound decision for himself if he's suffering from a mental disorder?

Question

I have had two severe cases of major depressive episodes for the past four years. I have been unemployed for nearly two years; I've lost contacts with friends more and more, because I've been trying to deal with this indepedently on my own. And truthfully, I've been ashamed to reveal this part of myself for fear of rejection and judgment from friends and family. I have met with numerous psychologists and psychoanalysts; I've been on and off meds. I've tried every possible tricks in the book to shed this feeling that's been eating away at me for the last 20 years. But more and more I just feel aliented from everyone else when I'm unable to keep a job, to handle stress, to make choices for myself, because I am constantly struggling with myself mentally. How does one effectively lead their lives from here when he's been feeling hopeless for probably the majority of his life?

Answer 1

You need medication and possibly some talk therapy.

Stop trying to deal with a medical condition "on your own".

Answer 2

When someone has a long-term mental illness to deal with, there are several alternatives.

The first goal is to stabilize the depression, if the depression is amenable to this. There are major depression treatment centers that have worked with the more difficult cases of depression. Personally, I would read all of the research dealing with difficult depression cases so I would have some idea as to what could be going on with me. I would determine who is the top depression psychiatrist in my area and work with him/her. Most people in the field can not treat the more difficult cases.

Next I would find a psychotherapist with empathy and insight and enter individual talk therapy. Maybe you can work through some of the issues surrounding your depression. Additionally, since you seem isolated, you want a empathic therapist in your life. Allowing one skilled non-judgmental person into your life at this time seems appropriate. When the therapist thinks you are ready, group therapy may be appropriate as that will bring more non-judgmental people into your life.

One issue to address in therapy is your shame and fear of rejection and judgment. If your friends are rejecting, then they aren't very good friends and it is time to get some new friends. Friends should retain confidences, be non-judgmental and show care toward you during this time of difficulty. If your friends would behave this way and you are the problem - the one who is isolating yourself, then talk about this in therapy. If you don't know your friends well enough to know how they would respond, then talk about why you aren't all that close to your friends. A last issue to deal with is the shame that you feel.

I felt embarrassed when I got depressed because I was training to become a therapist. My psychiatrist quickly handled that by saying I would be far more empathic knowing what my patients were experiencing. And in retrospect he has been correct. Although I did not become a therapist, I have been more empathic and understanding of people with health problems.

Answer 3

I can understand how you feel, I was misdiagnosed as major depressive disorder for nearly 9 years until i spoke openly with my doctor about it. We discovered that it was actually Bipolar disorder and that a new med that came out might help. It's called Topamax and it is definitely not for everyone (some rough side effects), but it helped me immensely. You may want to talk to your doctor about trying a stronger med like Remron or something like that. The best thing you can do for yourself is to be honest with your family and friends about what is going on. It's alot easier to deal when you have a strong support structure in place. They won't be judgmental of you....don't worry. If they care about you they will want to help you through it, that's why they are there. Good Luck with getting through it. I know it's not easy. V

Answer 4

Hi, I know exacticly how you feel.
I also suffer from major depression and am Bi-Polar. I have (suffered) maybe not the best term. okay, lived with depression most of my life and born Bi-Polar. I wasn't diagnosed until almost 10 years ago. I have been in and out of hospitals, and had to see several dr.s until I found one that really understood me. I also, am unable to work. It's a totally frustrating feeling. First I would suggest finding the right Dr. for YOU. Try not to feel embaressed. I have told family and friends most are okay with it. You may have some doubters who will tell you, "Just snap out of it". I explain it like this. I didn't choose to have dep. It's an illness like diebietes(sp) I have it I will always have it and I treat it with meds. At first it's hard, but now I have a sense of humor about it and can joke with my kids and family. Don't get me wrong, I still have really bad days. But, if you have people who love you they will try to understand you and help you make your decisions with out making them for you. Ask for your loved ones help! If you want someone to talk to feel free to email me.
Hope this has helped.

Answer 5

I am not sure if you know who the actor Rod Steiger was, but he suffered with this ailment for 35 years. He had the loving support of his wife, which is why I think you need to get with a support group of people who will understand you, because they have been or are there now....You should not continue to neglect yourself, for a condition that may be nothing more that an imbalance, and something that medicine can help. Go find people who will totally understand and be ther for you, don't try to go alone, unless you read the Bible, and let the Lord help you out. good luck my friend, you derserve a good life.

Answer 6

Ignorance is Bliss:

Pretend like nothing's happening, invite friends over, seek out old buddies, get a job and just throw yourself into anything and everything! Join a class (like karate, great for self-esteem) and get the good-juices of endorphins flowing

Find a close friend to tell all to, keep going to your doctors

Good Luck

Answer 7

You can't!!! I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. You have to have a lot of support to get through this. You must take your medications and especially continue to take them after you are feeling better. There are support groups that can help you find a job (through Social Security they have a return to work program) you can contact them. Most of all continue to seek help from your doctors and friends and family through your rough times. It is a blessing to have a strong support group.