I'm at a point today where I am no longer going to pursue someone that I Love VERY much because she doesnt feel the same way. I'm going to take some time to myself to be happy with me, then look for someone else :). How do i keep myself from giving up on ALL love instead of just the one I currently love? It's to painfull to chase the one you can never catch... but I'm afraid that my faith in love is lost because of this...
2006-08-01 03:37:03 · 28 answers · asked by Radar 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh boy...I love these types of questions. It's kinda like being stuck in the ocean, on a boogie board during hurricane katrina. You say to yourself, Dear god, if I can get over and through this I promise to never get back into the ocean EVER again and stay on land. But will that happen? Will you keep your feet on dry ground and avoid the water compeltely? HELL NO.
Love, is an emotion. Just like hate, anger, envy. They have highs and lows.
Love, is beautiful. Love is a gamble and you will not always be victorious. You will lose in love again. You will hurt with pain again. You will want to stab a woman in the eye because she broke down every molecule in your tender and precious heart.
But how do you stop love? A primal emotion and need in all of us, no different than the rising of the sun and setting of the moon? You can't!
I say the hell with it, LOVE, feel, experience, enjoy the moment, enjoy the touch, caress, feel of love for there is no other emotion that makes you feel as completed as love does. If it is yours to keep it will manifest and if it's not then you're a lucky man, because you got to experience it, love, in all it's rawness.
Smile - you WILL love again whether you like it or not, and that is a promise from the Diva.
Diva
2006-08-01 03:52:44 · answer #1 · answered by black_bi_diva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can totally relate. I am divorced but it wasn't because I didn't love my husband. I loved him very much. As a matter of fact, he will always have a place in my heart. I finally accepted the fact that he could not or would not love me the way that I needed and deserved to be loved. You can let go of someone that you love and not give up on love. It is hard but it can be done. You are right in taking some time to concentrate on yourself. You are at a very fragile point in your life and you need some tender, loving care even if you have to issue it to yourself. Once you have put your heart out there and had it broken, you want to guard it and not allow anyone to get close to it again, but that would be a mistake. We are good people who are capable of giving love and worthy of receiving it. This one woman is not representative of ALL women. Have faith that there is someone out there who is right for you and will appreciate all that you have to offer. I can't and won't give up on love. You shouldn't either. Love is meant to be shared. One day people like you and I (we aren't alone) will be able to share our love and have love shared with us. Hopefully, our next time around will be better than the first. Just make sure that you realize that you do not need to look for a copy of the woman that you are no longer going to pursue. Maybe she wasn't what you needed so there was divine intervention. What you need in a woman may not be what you think. Keep an open mind. Good Luck.
2006-08-01 03:51:44 · answer #2 · answered by intentionalmasterpiece 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are feeling is very common...it is called heartbreak. Movies have been done on this....Books written about this...Poems galore have been about this....most every song written is about heartbreak and love lost. I experienced the same thing once that you are going through. It was in my younger days. I'm 48 now and very happily married, and may I add, not to the girl that broke my heart at the time. It feels now like you can never love again....the pain is so deep it seems to rip your heart out of your chest, but believe me, it will pass...it may take a little while, or it could happen sooner depending on if you meet the right girl. It is possible to know someone and fall in love with them, but if that person doesn't share your feelings, then they are not the RIGHT person for you. There is someone that you can love more than this girl, and she will love you the same in return. It's worth the wait. You won't look back on this heartbreak with sad feelings. It's hard to believe now, I know that and completely understand, but just try and listen to what I am telling you. I'm speaking from personal experience and from acquired knowledge of other peoples similar experience. One day you are going to meet a girl that floors you and she will feel the same way....you will be thanking God that he chose to bless you with this new girl. So, although I can sympathize with what you are feeling, cheer up knowing that it is only temporary and it will all work out for the best, even though you can't see it now. You've got alot of people in this world that have shared your sadness and experienced the heartbreak you now have, but we have all pulled through and survived. Your day and your love will come. Hang in there.
2006-08-01 03:58:43 · answer #3 · answered by typicalguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to understand on thing. Attraction is not a choice. She could not choose to be attracted to you any more than you could choose not to be to her.
If fact your pursuing her may have made it even worse. Depending upon how you did that it may have made you look desperate in her eyes and nothing kills attraction like that for a women.
You can find love again. Absolutely. I have been where you are and have found love again. Do not give up but the next time around be sure you know the women and how she feels about you before you commit.
Never ever give up on love. As much as you think you loved her there is someone else out there you can and will love just as much if not more than her. Hard to believe I know but give yourself that chance.
You will not be sorry!
2006-08-01 03:50:00 · answer #4 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is very possible. Just because this one person does not have the same feelings that you have for her does not mean that there is not another special woman out there who will. Although it is difficult to have an unrequited love, try to look at not having a relationship with her as allowing you to be available for the right relationship. You are correct to take some time for yourself. If you are not happy with and by yourself, another person is not going to fix that. Too many people look for another person to fill the voids they have, when a true loving relationship enhances your strengths and supports you in moving forward in your life; not being some sort of magic putty to fill in the empty spaces. You are fortunate that you have realized that this is a love that you "can never catch". Imagine if you spent years and years of your life chasing this one person? By realizing that she is not meant to be in your life in the way you wish that she could, you have freed yourself from holding onto that dream. Although you may have feelings of bitterness towards love for a while, it will pass. It may not seem as though it will now, but, it will pass. You are a very fortunate man, indeed. And there is a very fortunate lady out there who is going to love you in the way you love her, and you will both share a special life together of mutual love and support.
2006-08-01 03:39:39 · answer #5 · answered by Garth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is definatley possible to give up on the one you love withouth giving up on love. I didn't say it was easy just that it is possible. I have been here as I am sure many people who will post answeres have been. However, in some cases it is better to just try and not think about the person, once again easier said than done. But most helpfull is to remember that just because the feelings here were not mutual does not mean that somewhere else they will always be one sided. Also, take a look at your other female friends, chances are that one of them wishes she was more.
2006-08-01 03:44:47 · answer #6 · answered by Fritzy1709 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to give up on someone you love while not giving up on love all together. It is a hard process. The main thing you need to do is move on with your life, do the things you like to do. Depending on your circumstances around this love of your life, this is probably the lowest point in your life. You feel like you will never be the same and no one will ever compare to her. It will take time & effort to get past that.
Go out and try to have fun. Don't go out necessarily "looking" for love, it will happen again when you least expect it.
I can say this because it has happened to me.... very recently.
2006-08-01 03:46:49 · answer #7 · answered by Tawn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? keep busy as each day passes you should be thinking about why you should want to pursue someone who obviously doesnt feel the same way about you....dont waste precious time I know how painful this situation can be but a new interest is the best thing for you and search your sould and believe in yourself and feel proud of yourself and most of all Love Yourself You dont need anyone that doesnt think you are very special...You would be wasting your precious time and your love....You will find someone I am positive...that will love you for you and all the special things about you....being involved with someone who doesnt feel the same way is simply harmful to you and your psyche and I honestly feel you deserve better Good luck and God be with you...take care Mo
2006-08-01 03:45:18 · answer #8 · answered by rosepetals 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know just how you feel...It may take a few years but during this time you will date a bit, but make it clear from the start that you need time to be yourself before you can be with anyone else. Go fishing or to the beach or places you can think about you and where you want to go in life...
In time you will open your heart again. Just keep your heart out of your dating relationships for a while
YES, anything is possible you just have to regroup
Good luck-- I spent 3 yrs by myself with ceilings on my feelings and walls made of iron and after the longest 3 yrs they came crashing down in a flash. I am still in shock at how easy it was once my head was where it was suppose to be and my heart back in my chest instead of on my sleeves.
2006-08-01 03:48:58 · answer #9 · answered by toody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are doing the right thing in taking some time for yourself. We have all chased after someone who we loved but didnt feel the same way. Dont give up hope. In the mean time, do what makes you happy and become stronger within yourself to become happy with or without someone. That way, when the time comes, you can add someone to your life with full confidence. As my father used to say" No one person can give you complete happiness, you must first find it within yourself" Gl!
2006-08-01 03:44:48 · answer #10 · answered by The Kings 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋