HELP!!! I'm devastaded!!! ?

Question

I'm a self injurer and my parents don't know anything about it, but I've allready promised myself not 2 cut N-E more, and I've been like 5 days without doing it . Last night my mom N I argued about something , I felt like cutting but I didn't want to, so in that moment I remembered what my friend had suggested me "When U feel like cutting... just break something" so I did.... I broke something CHEAP that could B easyly fixed, in fact, I promised myself 2 fix it but I forgot . My mom found out a few hours later N she started yelling @ me cuz I had broken it, N she said "Don't do this kinda stuff!!!!!!" So I told her "But U never let me express myself, U don't even let me raise my voice a little!!!" N she told me "But U shouldn't do this!!! pull your hair or hurt yourself but DO NOT DO THIS!!!! " I just freaked out when she said that so I rolled up my sleves showed her my cuts, N she looked @ them N said "See? like that! do that, but don't brake things!!!"

See? she doesn't give a damn about me, she cares more about that stupid thing I broke,I'm devastaded N I fell like **** now, what shoul I do?????

Answer 1

If your mom really said that than she is a terrible mother and I feel sorry for you. How can she care anout her possesions more than your health?! Look the worst thing you can do when you are angry, frustrated, or hurt is to hurt yourself, period. Destroying things on the otherhand is not a very good option either... I'm gonna go out on a limb here, but I guess your mother is not someone you can rally talk to about your problems, but you must find someone who you can talk to, other family or good freinds. I used to go run when I got frustrated, it was a great out let... please find your own way but make it a safe one.

Answer 2

How old are you? If you are 18 or over then move out. If not then you need to see your guidance counselor in school. You need help honey. Hurting yourself is NOT an option. You'll do some permanent damage eventually.
Or worse. You said mom never lets you express your self, have you ever thought about writing? Pouring your heart out on paper? Its good to do this....I used to. Works like a charm.
You can also try to be more creative. Write short stories. Not only will this help you express yourself and help you to un bottle your feelings but you'll learn to love writing and you can actually make a career out of writing, poetry, short stories, even horror and mysteries.
Try it out. Like I said, If all else fails see a professional a counselor or even a Dr.
Remember every mom loves her kids. She probably didn't know what to say when she saw how you hurt yourself. She probably choked and hit you where it hurts. She'll come around and if she doesn't then she's ignorant.
If you need someone to talk to contact me.

Answer 3

I think it is great you went 5 days without cutting. That is a fantastic accomplishment. Unfortunately your mom sounds like she may have been a cutter too or is still one. Your friend is right break something preferably not something dangerous. Go buy a whole bag of plastic bottles or get things from the dollar store like those little miniature figurines. Then when you are angry you can go get one or two or however many it takes and break them. Cutting yourself is very harmful and so dangerous. Your mom, I think, cares for you and loves you very much but if she is or was a cutter she may have never been able to get past this problem. You might be able to help her find herself if you can continue to improve and take control of your life the way you have been doing. Moms are not perfect but they want their children to think they are. They do not want their children to think they are not special. Keep trying. Each day you go without cutting is one day closer to being free from it's control. Just like a smoker who is trying to quit. Each day they don't have a cigarette is one day their lungs have a chance to breathe clean air. Always see it as positive. If you have a bad day. Start again the next morning. Do not give up you can do it. You have it within you to take control of your life. Good Luck - I will say a prayer for strength for you.

Answer 4

You need to call someone and talk to someone who has been through this. Your mother may have been a cutter herself and figures it was ok for her so it should be ok for you. It taking the pain you feel on the inside and turning it into a physical sense. You DEFINITELY need to see a psychiatrist and your mom needs help too. Ask yourself this, would you want your daughter one day to have this problem? Would you want her to hurt herself? You dont have to turn into your mother. I didnt. You know what you are doing is not good for you but you will need some help to fix it. Your mother is not helping your situation and I am not agreeing with you because I am a teenager. I am a 25 year old adult who has seen friends do this and I grew up a very dysfunctional family and knows how hard it is to be happy in a house where you are always supressed. But I didnt care. I yelled and screamed and said everything on my mind. I didnt care if I was grounded (they were never home anyway). I never cut myself though. You need to seek out help, as hard as it may be you need to talk to the school nurse and counselor and see what help is available for you. You have places to turn you just need to take advantage of it. Get help for you first, worry about your mom later. She does love you she just doesnt know how to show you in a positive way.

Answer 5

You and your mother are both very upset right now. Do you have another family member you can talk to about this? Someone who is close to both you and your mother. I would think an Aunt or Grandmother would be ideal. Go to this relative and explain everything you've said here. Ask for help with the situation.

Your mother does not realize how you feel or what you are doing. She would not want you to hurt yourself, but as you said, she does not know.

Remember, we don't get much instruction on parenting. How much a being a teen will you remember? She's struggling just as much as you are. Talk to a family member and you will probably require family counseling as well. I used to hate the idea, but it helps.

Answer 6

Your mum isn't seeing the big picture. You need to go to a counceller imidiatelly and find out the reasons that u cut. It's very damaging and your mum is being insensitive. This is coming from someone who has a mother that would say the same sort of thing. She's being very ignorant, this is a problem you shouldn't hide and u really need to sort out some issues with your mother and with your life in general. This is not normal, if u explain how your feeling to a councellor and she talks to your mum then maybe she will understand the severity of the situation.

Answer 7

If your father is around tell him how you feel about u and your mothers situation. If you dont have a father or if he dosent give a rats @ss about you 2 at least talk to your mom again but this time talk to her when everything is calm and express your feelings to her in a calm voice. Just let her know that its time for you to talk and you need help. Tell that cutting your self literly hurting your own prescious body is killing you and you need help but the only way to come out of your shell is by cutting. I advise you to write a letter to your mom if this dosent work out. U should also ask her if you could go to therepy. I belive the reason why your cutting is because your lonly and you feel like your going through a tangled feild full of emotions by yourself. I know how you feel. I myself is an ex- cutter. But i never was able to talk to my mother. My father died a couple of months ago and my mother is still devestaed. Ever since then shes been acting selffish I dont have anyone else, its just me. At least you have friends to talk to I dont HAVE ANY FRIENDS! and just always remember that you get to go home to a nice warm bed, most people cant and go to bed hungry. Sometimes what helps me is that i think about all the people that are worst off then me. People that dont have a mother nor father and no reletives to call, they simply have not a trace of love in there life. Just remember theres always going to be problems in your life and by cutting those problems into your skin is not going to solve them. Your just storing them away and they are going to come out again. Same goes with your emotions. I have to say good luck talking to your mother if that is what you choose to do and good luck if you dont get any help at all!

Answer 8

First, stop cutting yourself. You know it is a desperate (and pathetic) cry for help and attention. Your mother does care although she may not act like it.
Second, there is no need for destructive behavior of any kind. What are you? A bad puppy? Try to run outside till you are tired when you feel like cutting, or even better, call someone to talk to. That would be the best thing for you when you feel like doing this. Or get on in a chat room and talk.

Answer 9

Seek counseling. I dont think that she actually thought you were cutting yourself. Its not an easy thing to deal with for a parent either. Breaking things is not going to help anything. You really need to be in therapy, especially if you think your mother doesnt care about you. How was she to know about you cutting when you hid it from her. Im sure it was just as much a blow to her, but when you are in the middle of an arguement things are said and not meant.

Answer 10

Tell her that she needs to understand that you get upset and that breaking things isnt life threatening. I used to cut when I was a younger and I had a depression problem. I used to cut a pillow open instead. That or I would just stab it. Have you tried that? It helps relieve stress. Do you go see a therapist? That could help too. Explain to your mother that you care about your well-being and you dont want to hurt yourself anymore. She should allow you to express yourself in a way that doesnt harm you. She shouldnt be telling you to hurt yourself. That shows she doesnt care. Sit down and talk with her about this.