They live abroad and have one baby already and are expecting another. I love my daughter to bits but worry that she is dumbing down herself rather than helping her less educated partner, by doing things like mispronouncing words, not bothering to find out what she doesn't know etc. She talked about a magazine 'prescription' rather than 'subscription' for example. Her speech has also become lazier, like his. He works hard for his family, and they want their daughter to be bilingual, but I see he is using the same word (eg the word for water) to describe many different things, such as streams and rivers, presumably because he doesn't know what they in anything other than English. I worry that my granddaughter is not getting the best start here, and that my daughter is allowing it to happen, just so her partner doesn't feel any more inadequate than he already does. How should I proceed? Say nothing? My daughter is very touchy on this subject and it is hard to talk to her about it.
2006-08-01 03:30:20 · 12 answers · asked by granny2006 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Okay, I know you are simply worried about your daughter and the welfare of your grandchild. However, I have to be blunt here. How your daughter chooses to live her life and how she chooses to talk, act whatever really isn't anything to do with you. I know you love your daughter, it's easy to tell by your letter but don't try and smother her. You have already said she's touchy about this and Im sure it's because she feels criticised by what you say....she is raising her daughter the best way she can and as a mother you just need to support her in any way she needs without butting in when she is happy with her life. Sorry if this sounds harsh but I know what Im talking about.
xxx
2006-08-01 05:51:03 · answer #1 · answered by Honey 2 · 7⤊ 1⤋
I think you are right to be concerned, as only a mother can be. Question is, how long has it been going on for? Also, is it really dumbing down or just being different? I too have lived and worked abroad and trying to survive in such an alien environment meant, I have no doubt, that my use of their language was at times "basic". I would give it time and see if your daughter doesn't eventually start bringing her husband and daughter up to her level of intellectuality. But at the end of the day, as long as they are happy and have a good quality of life is all that matters
2006-08-01 03:43:13 · answer #2 · answered by Michael B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that a broad vocabulary is dying anyway, not only in the home but also in our schools, which is why I bust my butt to send my son to a a private school where a great emphasis is on the 3 'r's.
The best way to get a child to have a wide vocabulary is to read to them and get them interested in books, even the awful magazines can be beneficial, why don't you try sending story books over to your grandchild for her to be read to by her mother.
I can't bear people using the wrong words, pacific instead of specific, susstificate instead of certificate... it simply turns my stomach.
It sounds like that your daughters partner is not English although you haven't said, but that's the way I've read it, in which case, he's probably doing his best, but your daughter is not helping him by not correcting him. She doesn't have to correct him obviously, just repeat what he's told her by using the correct the word...
"I took out the magazine prescription" and repeat "that's great that you took out the subscription, when does it start?"
That way he won't feel bad or stupid about getting the word wrong and she doesn't turn into the language police!
2006-08-01 03:41:28 · answer #3 · answered by dirtyminx82 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like it or not, kids are sensitive and read parents just as you can read them. She already knows you think her partner is "less intelligent" (that means stupid to your daughter, just so you understand that fact), so you can't say much without possibly losing the benefit of seeing your grandchildren.
Parents never stop parenting and that's your issue here. Be lucky he works hard to support his family and just understand your daughter probably has a thing for guys less intelligent than herself. No worries.
2006-08-01 04:06:18 · answer #4 · answered by rightonrighton 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are saying. People who do that annoy the hell out of me too, but there is really nothing you can do about it except hope that she realizes the mistakes she is making. Unfortunatly it is your daughter and its hard to look the other way, but sometimes you have to let adults be adults, even if they are acting like children. Good luck.
2006-08-01 03:47:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your daughter is very happy with him then you have nothing to worry about. as a mother it might happen that you value your daughter more then him but the importance is they get along with each other.
2006-08-01 03:43:18 · answer #6 · answered by Amantia A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for them.
Your daughter is doing what she feels is best for her family.
If I were you I would just be happy that my daughter had a loving husband and children and was happy.
Good luck, and bite your tongue.
2006-08-01 04:01:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tried many a time. final time i fell *** first into the bathroom and have been given caught. My male ego prevented me from calling for help and that i just about starved to dying. fortuitously i had lots of water and pee to drink however.
2016-10-01 08:29:07 · answer #8 · answered by goldthorpe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pick your battles. Do you really want to drive a wedge between you and your daughter? Probably not.
2006-08-01 03:40:45 · answer #9 · answered by Padme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your daughters family and their business. You need not put yourself in the middle of it.
2006-08-01 03:36:27 · answer #10 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋