My fiancee and I often argue about certain "websites" he has gone to in the past, than he has the nerve to ask me, "but have has ever cheeted on you?" How am I really to know, especially when this was not the only time and each time he tells me, "Im sorry honey, it wont happen again." but than he does it again. Is this considered cheeting, at least in his heart? And what about moral and ethical behavior, I really need someone to debate with me on this! When he was in New York for 3 weeks, was the last time he did this a few months ago, he said, "but it was when I wasnt with you." But if there is a ring on his finger, I say he is still with me.
2006-08-01 03:21:09 · 17 answers · asked by irishkiten 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yes it is cheating. If he is continually checking out those websites AND you don't like it - then DUMP HIM. Find someone else. He is not going to stop once you are married. Find someone who has the same values that you have otherwise you are letting yourself in for a lifetime of misery OR a messy divorce. So just move on.
2006-08-01 03:25:38 · answer #1 · answered by doc 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sorry to break this to you, but it sounds as if he's addicted to cyber-porn. It's not exactly cheating in the classic sense, but it can sure put a severe strain on the relationship. With him watching this "stuff", you probably feel as if you have to compete or that he must not be happy with you since he insists on viewing these sites at all . . . am I right? Men are visual creatures and need visual stimulation whereas women are more emotional. I can't say that he will ever stop, but this is obviously something that you both need to discuss, maybe even in counseling.
My husband visits his special sites only on the nights I work and even then, he doesn't do it every night I'm gone . . . only a few. I tease him about it, but he also knows how I feel. I've told him that I'm not against porn , but why watch it when you can do it?!
Good luck!
2006-08-01 05:16:47 · answer #2 · answered by Angie P. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generally, my opinion is that 1) if you have to ask, it's probably cheating, and 2) if you wouldn't do it with your spouse right there, it's cheating, and 3) if you feel the need to keep it secret, it's cheating.
In this case, he doesn't keep it a secret does he. (I am not defending him, hang on.) It is probably that he just has different expectations of marriage that you do, e.g, that he thinks that his behaviour is acceptable.
Given that you have spoken to him about and it still goes on, I think you should sit down with a marriage counselor and talk it out. (I know you're not married yet, but marriage counselors are really relationship counselors.) He probably doesn't really understand why you feel the way you do. And, you probably don't understand why he wants to visit porn sites.
By the way, this will be a good thing. Either you'll work it out now BEFORE you get married. Or, you can move on BEFORE you get married.
Good Luck
2006-08-01 03:31:37 · answer #3 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about "cheeting", but I know that if the wife asks the husband not to do it, and he still does it, there is a respect issue in the marriage. And, the wife can certainly feel like she's been *cheAted* on. This becomes a trust issue - perhaps therapy could help?
2006-08-01 06:41:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not. Guys are guys, they like to visit these websites cause its just in their nature. I've never bothered my boyfriend about it, and he never questions me. he knows I love him and he loves me. Honnestly, the more you fuss about it the more tempting it will be for him to do it. But if he doesn't really want to give it up when he does do it occasionally if you feel comfortable you can do it with him. Again, just a suggestion. Just watch something with him, I promise you that you'll seem like a cool fiance and he'll truly appreciate you taking an interest.
2014-07-03 05:44:52 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same discussion with my husband...I get deeply upset and jealous when I have seen that he has gone to a sex website. I have told him numerous time how this upsets me....I think he hasn't visited one for some time now....but just the other night, he surprised me with something from a "sex shop"...He was like-oh I stopped there on my way home from work...Now I got upset & jealous that he went into a sex store....yet..he bought something for me....
I don't know what it is about sex sites or shops...if you truely love him and he truely loves you...I am sure it is innocent....and remember you are not alone in your feelings about this!
2006-08-01 03:44:06 · answer #6 · answered by TP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both my husband and I consider it cheating and so we dont do it. there is no reason for a guy to look at porn, no matter what anyone says. Its a guy thing!!...thats BS! its only a guy thing because women let their men get away with that excuse. If hes getting what he needs from you then he doesnt need that. if he does then he has a problem. thats him getting off on another girls body. any women who would want or accept that has a problem too. tell him to get a picture or you and everytime he feels the need, jerk off to that.
2006-08-01 07:24:40 · answer #7 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's considered cheating, but I think it could lead to that. What happened when looking at pictures isn't enough anymore? Your husband has an addiction...a sickness... If he really wants to get better he should seek counseling. Offer to go with him.
2006-08-01 03:45:38 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is surfing for porn cheating? Unless he has a cyber pornstar girlfriend, then that's a different story. Loosen up a bit! It's not a big deal!
2006-08-01 03:41:26 · answer #9 · answered by 7FAM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say yes. Cheating always starts in the heart. This is what jesus said and I agree.
2006-08-01 03:32:28 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋