i need some advice on what to do an how to deal witha broken heart?

Question

I had a friend who I believed was my soulmate, he went out with a girl 13 years ago who now works with my sister,when me an the guy first were friends I had no attraction to him and I gave him the number of his ex,they have been in contact and she visited his home etc he always told me about her visits texts etc etc an that they were just friends, she asked him some time ago to a concert an I was quiet upset about it when I heard but he did not go with her to it I dont exatctly know why, anyhow things became strained between me an him it sort of settled down an then one night i rang him up an he didnt answer but text me sayin he had a visitor an he would talk to me later lets just say i put 2 & 2 together an assumed it was the ex of 13 years ago ,so he had made his decision right he had picked her over me,but now i miss him we had been talking an textin each other everyday for almost 8 months an i miss him and i dont know what to do he is 34 single i am 35 single but worlds apart HELP

Answer 1

first it sounds like you put two and two together and came up with five. in other words your jealous of his relationship with his ex so you automaticaly presumed he was with her, when he could have had just a guy friend over or family.
so have you told him how you feel and what you would like from the relationship?
as for your broken heart it seems like you are attempting to break your own heart.
you said yourself that he did not go to the concert with his ex. if he wanted to be with her again romanticaly then he would almost certainly have gone to that concert with her even if he did not like the band in the hope of sleeping with her after the concert.
So phone him, don't text him, and ask him to come and see you.
sit him down quietly and ask him how he feels about his ex. ask him if he is dating anyone else, and tell him how you feel and what you would like to happen between the two of you.
if all that fails to get him to be romantically involved with you forget him and find a guy who will love you for you, and will treat you with the love and kindness (for want of a better phrase) that you deserve.

there are plenty of us good guys out there, you just have to look hard to find us.

Answer 2

I am in the same situation with my male friend G. We were friends many years ago and I had a massive crush on him and we met up at the start of the year after we had both split up and he used to come to my place all the time I me to his and everyday we would call/text or email and we did kiss a number of times but never any more than that & he made up his mind that I just wanted him as a friend without asking me but at the same time I realised he made everything seem good in the world. Anyway I didn't say what I thought about him and next thing I knew I had an email one day saying he had a date with a girl & I was gutted, since then he has been seeing her & the only time I hear anything from him is if I email or text and it was so hard but then I thought everything happens for a reason & I would much rather have him somewhere in my life so I do the right thing and always write I am happy for him & that way he know's I am always here for him but I am able to have my life without feeling guilty (ie going out and meeting people, I even email about things hoping that it might make him think) but I still wonder if I did the right thing by not telling him just how felt (I even wrote a letter to him but never posted it). may be you should write a letter and decide what to do as it really helped me realise a lot of things & you can't put the phone down or slam the door on a letter can you. Good luck.

Answer 3

You Are Both Single What Have You Got To Lose ,
So Arrange To Meet Him, Say That You Would Like To Talk Then When You Meet, Talk ,
Tell Him How You Feel ,
The Worst Scenario That Could Happen Is That You Drift Apart Which Sounds Like That Could Be Happening Already.(Sorry To Say That)
What I Mean Is That If You Don't Try You Will Never Know
Go Girl Give It A Try.

Answer 4

SCREECH! Please tell me why this man is texting you if he's in love with his ex?

Men LOVE to have their cake and eat it too. I think it's part of their genetic make up. What i would like to hear is how much you love yourself and not him.

>>>He was always cheating with her. NO, go back and read that again. HE WAS ALWAYS CHEATING WITH HER. From the beginning, the concert, everything. He wanted her.

>>>Now that he has her he's figured he made a bad decision and is reminiscing about you and him, and the mistake he's made

>>>He kept the door (to your heart) open because haye, everyone needs a back-up plan. Hence, the 8 months of texting

>>>HE KNOWS you are still in love with him and it makes him feel GREAT to know you will ALWYAS be there for him.

>>>He may even say that you two are getting older and should think about settling down (because he KNOWS thats what you want to hear)

You want some advice girlfriend? Get yourself an army boot and DROP KICK his butt to Jupiter!!! Grab your self esteem, get some make-up, put on some sexy sling backs, do the hair, take your girlfriend with you and FIND A NEW ONE!

YOU deserve, want, and need to feel #1 not a runner-up. YOU can and WILL find the man of your dreams without all this baggage you'd be carrying with the loser who is jerking around with your emotions and heart.

Stop responding to the texts (yes, i know this is the only person that really knows you, has genuine emotion for you, you love him, you want to have his babies, you dream of vacationing in the carribean, no one will ever want you but him).

Again, stop setting yourself up to have him pop up on your front door step with a duffle bag b/c his ex came to her senses and gave him back to you. STOP responding to the texts.

The hurt will heal and ease day by day. It might take months to feel better. But what do you prefer? Three months of healing or a lifetime of this back and forth crap? Are you worth more to yourself? Do you want real love and affection? Don't you want to be number one?

www.plentyoffish.com is a TOTALLY FREE dating site. Go make a profile and find someone to take you on a real date

www.lovehappens is a partially free dating site.

www.blackplanet.com is a site for black folks but haye, it's free and it may be your thang.

The point is stop obsessing over this imbecil and get another one. BILLIONS of men out there. I mean BILLIONS, waiting to find their Queen. But it's up to you to be the Queen and not a dormat. Grab your nuts, get some self esteem and KICK HIM TO THE CURB, quick before you lose even more of yourself and before you know it, you won't even remember your own name, catering to an idiot.

And trust me, Diva knows this first hand.

Diva

Answer 5

Well just think of it this way it's his lose and someother guy's gain and if he was really in love with you he'd tell you and not dump you for his ex of 13 years ago. To me that's a bunch of bull if you still miss him try calling him and see if he at leats answers and if not well try dating maybe it'll help you out abit.

Answer 6

Find someone else. Live life for today its only a short existence we have on earth. Go out do not mope about. Best of luck.

Answer 7

what a creep..why do u contact him when he is or was with his ex?? just let him go & find something else to do...read a book, listen to music, go out with ur friends, watch a movie, play a sport u like, whatever just forget about guys! they are not worth it if they don't take u seriously & not treat u right.

Answer 8

this guy is clearly not into you, if you really wanna be with someone, its gotta be someone else, you should understand that n move on with life. Life's a party dont waste it over trying too hard...it's all for the best! Cheers

Answer 9

he made his choice and it was not you. i think the only thing you can do is accept the friendship the way it is if you can and move on. it seems as though he was really never over her to begin with. it sucks, i have been there but don't waste the pretty on someone who does not want to be with you. good luck!!

Answer 10

Time heals all wounds. Involve yourself with other social activites; stay busy. Write him off; you'd never know when he might suddenly "jump ship" again.