Where are the parents today? Are we all busy trying to be our childrens friends?

Question

First: sorry about my rants earlier, I was feeling a little defensive do to anothers post. Now , have you noticed that children seem to be free to raise themselves these days? I mean dressing like bums and streetwalkers, mouths that would make sailors blush, and last night two young teens walked into my Nursing Home at 2:30 am looking to buy a soda. Where are America's parents?

I work at a nursing home and actually my parents kept a tight rein on us. There are 8 in my family. None of us 6 girls got pregnant before marriage or in highschool. Nor did my brother father any children young.

And I have 2 sons ages 11 and 13 who will not be dating prior to 16 and only spend the night at a few well known friends houses that I check as well.

The funny thing is one of them is the son of a CNA who was not working that night. This person is known to let him roam and spend her nights off drinking.

Answer 1

I see the same thing, as a high school teacher, I am amazed that some of these kids even HAVE parents! They behave like they were raised by baboons!!!!

Answer 2

You own a nursing home?
No.....look, don't you remember telling your mom you would be at so and so's and them telling their parents the same thing? I have a 17 year old and 26 year old. My oldest son used to sneak out of his his bedroom window at all hours of the night when he was 16-17 years old. Sorry, you can't be awake 24 hours a day to watch them. You THINK the parents don't care but you're more than likely wrong about that. Kids know how to "play" the parents. If they want out, they'll find a way. You obviously have not raised any kids.

Answer 3

When my brother whipped his sons butt for doing wrong Child Protective Services were called in and he was told that his son would be removed if he did it again. His son keyed in on this and would become a terror that my brother finally shot himself for over the embarrasment! His son today is a street punk dope dealing pimp-and he had such a good sense of the world when he was younger but other people (The Christian Right) stepped in and told Bro how to raise his kids-My Bro has been Quadreplegic for 20 years now and his son came to visit him a few years ago and stole his credit card and maxed it out-to a father totally handicapped and in a wheel chair. So now he has an Uncle that if I catch the lil bastard will go to jail-because he wasn't spanked as a child and learned to have limits-I guess we adults are being told to take out Time-Outs now!

Answer 4

My mother was that person to me. I started drinking at a very young age, and smoking too! It's molded me into the person I am today, so I don't have any regrets. I have chosen, though, not to make the same choices as a mother to my daughter. I will not EVER buy her alcohol or cigs. I'm currently trying to quit smoking, but I don't drink that often, which I am very grateful for. Both of my parents were alcoholics, so I tend to steer in the other direction so my daughter can have a better life than I had growing up. I will first be a mother who will gain my childs' trust, then later in life, if she wants to consider me as a friend, I'll be glad, but there are boundaries I will not let her cross. I learned from my experience, and rather than hating my mother, I just took the positive things she taught me, threw out the negative, and apply to mine and my daughter's life what I feel is beneficial, educational to her. I don't want her to follow my foot-steps from my childhood. Needless to say, my mother's efforts to befriend me were worthless...we hardly talk anymore. So to all the parents not being parents, know your role and play it the best you know how! Being friends with your kids will not HELP them, it can hurt them and really traumatize them for life (if they don't have a strong head). Think about what's best for them, not what kind of relationship you'd like to have with them. Earn their trust at a young age, then keep it, they'll have the utmost respect for you for life!!!

Answer 5

Yeah kids don't need more friends they need parents. It drives me crazy. One thing that drives me nuts is parents who don't discipline their kids at a young age, letting them do whatever they want. Then when they become teenagers and they are out of control the parents then try to take control. ha to late. More kids do what they want because both parents work. That's definitely not an excuse though. Hopefully America will wake up and realize these children need guidance and parents.

Answer 6

They are on the couch watching Tv. Parents dont care these days. Just as long as the kids stay out of their hair. Some parents try and be the kids friends instead of a parent. Most parents dont punish there kids anymore. I say whip them the right way and make them mind.

Answer 7

Good question.
I am guilty of trying to be my son's friend.
He is 19 and I am finally learning that I am not his friend but his father. My father raised us that way and it is the only way to go.

I treat my son very well and enjoy trips, movies and sports with him. But, he has lots of buddies and there is a difference. I feel a father or parent is a much greater responsibility than being a just a friend. With time, a good parent will often be the child's best friend.

Answer 8

I think a good parent can be a variation of both friend and parent. There is no need for the child to hate or fear the parent but to honor and respect them. I have two kids and I am lucky to have the support of my husband unfortunatly alot of parents are single which makes the child alone at times. What we don't know in this case will hurt us or our kids.

Answer 9

Amen! Often times I see some parents who are more like their child's best friend instead of being a parent. It's ok to be a friend to your child, but never lose sight of your role as THE PARENT. Your child is THE child. This is how some children today are running over their parents, telling them what to do, etc. They need a good old fashion spanking!

Answer 10

I learned from my mother's mistakes. I am a parent first, and a friend only if they need and deserve one. When they do something stupid, I don't say 'wow, how fun' no, they get punished. But if they have their feelings hurt, I don't say "i'll fix it", no, I sympathize and offer stories from my childhood.
My kids are going to bed earlier than others, don't get soda at restaurants, have to be quiet in movie theatres, must behave in public and don't get every toy in the world---all because I care about them and how they grow up.
And, strangely enough, I was a teenage mom.

Answer 11

Those parents are too busy chasing a dollar, rather than taking care of what is most important, their children. It's a shame that we as a nation have succomed to the world's view on what's best for our children. The dad of the house is responsible for the welfare of his household. The Lord will hold him accountable for what goes on in his family.